


All in

by Everytimeagain



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst, F/F, F/M, Female My Unit | Byleth, Fire Emblem: Three Houses Black Eagles Route Spoilers, Fire Emblem: Three Houses Blue Lions Route Spoilers, Fire Emblem: Three Houses Golden Deer Route Spoilers, I love that tag, Idiots in Love, M/M, Minor Ferdinand von Aegir/Hubert von Vestra, Minor Marianne von Edmund/Hilda Valentine Goneril, Scheming, Slow Burn, but the good kind, like almost simmering, no beta we die like Glenn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-11
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:13:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 84,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26958631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Everytimeagain/pseuds/Everytimeagain
Summary: Byleth has gone back one last time. And this time she needs to get it right. She will make sure that, whatever happens this will lead to the best possible outcome. For everyone.
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Claude von Riegan, Dorothea Arnault/Petra Macneary, Edelgard von Hresvelg/My Unit | Byleth, Felix Hugo Fraldarius/Sylvain Jose Gautier
Comments: 33
Kudos: 96





	1. Great

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, this is my first fic so any constructive criticism is very much welcome. I always wanted to write a fic where things could end withough killing half a continent nor sacrificing most people. But I'm a sucker for pairings so I'm going to lead with that. Sorry too, English is not my native language so if there's any mistake in my writing, I'm sorry. Enjoy!

Since he arrived to the monastery, Sylvain has been waking up with the firm conviction that he’s the single human being that the Goddess hates the most. He wasn’t referring to the abusive-brother-asshole-father situation (which he very much prefers to leave rotting in a very deep box inside his head, thank you very much), but to a much more recent (could you count it as recent when it’s been building up at the back of your head for years?) development, shaped in the impatient knocks on his bedroom door that just woke him up with the worst hung over he’s had this month.

He opens his eyes with a grunt, considering if he should just fake sleep when the knocking starts again and he resolves to move out of his bed to get the door.  
When he opens it, he’s received by the piercing gaze of Felix, who looks at him with an annoyed expression at the state of his hair before speaking.

“The professor is waiting for us and you’re going to be late. Again.” Though this is said as an accusation, the tone of his voice is neutral, almost as if “pissed off at my childhood friend’s shenanigans” was his default mode.

A look down the hall tells Sylvain that he’s not the only one who needed an extra help in getting up, with quiet Marianne rubbing circles in a clearly sleep-deprived Hilda on their way to the dining hall and an annoyed Lorenz knocking incessantly on Claude von Riegan’s door, an activity that he’s been performing for seemingly the whole year, causing the same scene each and every time. Ah, what a good morning.

“Good morning to you too Felix” he greets, causing the other’s frown to deepen as the same time that Sylvain’s smile becomes more prominent. “You’re welcome to come in while I change”. He accompanies this with a wink that prompts, rather expectedly, Felix flinging the door in his face, causing a snicker to fall from his lips. Good morning indeed, he didn’t take out his sword.

He gets dressed calmly, imagining Felix at the other side of his door tapping his foot impatiently while contemplating whether to ditch him and go to class or break down the door to drag him to class whether he’s ready or not. It happened once.

Once he gets out, they walk side by side towards the training grounds, were the lesson would be taking place today. Which meant, unfortunately for Sylvain, that it was the time to pretend that he’s been training diligently when he hasn’t entered the training grounds willingly once in his stay in the monastery (sometimes Felix or Ingrid drag him there to train with them, training that he would be feeling for the rest of the week in the shape of new bruises and severe stiffness).

When he arrives he watches his class, already assembled and ready to begin the class. Dimitri was serene as always, looking at a mysterious cut on his hand, with Dedue next to him, appearing way more intimidating with the axe strapped to his side than the pancakes he made the other day would lead you to believe. Next to him is Ashe, with that half serious half nervous gaze that he’s been sporting since the death of his adoptive father, Lord Lonato. Annette, as always, is full of excitement next to the calm and collected Mercedes, from who you could only perceive an slight annoyance at the perspective of physical activity. Ingrid turns around when she hears the door opening, signaling the two remaining members of the Blue Lions’ arrival. Her hair is in the usual braid, as well as her annoyed, mad-at-Sylvain face. It’s going to be a long day.

The Professor nods in their direction when they enter and proceeds to explain the plan for this class.

“Each of you is going to choose a weapon of second choice right now.” She pointedly looks at Felix when he frowns a bit at this decision. She stares blankly in return. “In battle, your preferred weapon may not always be at your disposal, so its important to broaden your horizons to allow you more margin of action in battle.”

As matter of fact as always. Once she’s done she moves first towards Annette and Mercedes to explain something to them while the rest of them move. Sylvain watches Dedue move towards the practice gauntlets with a half grumpy half curious Felix right behind, while Dimitri and Ingrid pick up one practice sword each and swing it experimentally, evidencing their previous training in the use of that weapon. Sylvain scans the racks looking for something which would take relatively little effort when the Professor appears next to him, making him almost jump out off his skin.

“Hey Professor, could you say something next time? You almost gave me heart attack, and not ‘cause of your beauty this time.” The unimpressed look he receives makes the corner of his mouth move almost unperceptively (though he has the impression she caught it). 

“I have noticed that you are skipping your training” he doesn’t bother correcting her. “It is my duty making sure you are ready for battle. So, as your teacher, instead of one, I want you to start practicing two new skills: axes and magic.”

Sylvain smiles at her, expecting against all hope that this is all a joke (though that in itself would be an unexpected development).

“Come what now?”

“You’ll be practicing with an axe as well as your lance from now on. Additionally, I want you to study magic. I believe you have the ability to practice it rather skillfully.”

He hopes, against all odds, that this is all a dream. But no, this seems pretty real. Great. 

He recovers rather fast (keep cool, keep cool, he repeats in his head) and sighs, assuming his destiny for the remaining time in the monastery. But Byleth wasn’t finished.

“I’m establishing relations with students from other classes in order to organize study groups with people of different houses, to create a more connected environment for a few months. All of you are going to participate in them.”

Great, at least I can get close to the girls in the other classes. One good thing may come out of this.

“I put you in a group with Ashe that will be joined by Hilda, Raphael, Caspar and Edelgard to practice your axe skills.” 

He had to admit, that caught him off-guard. He was kinda curious of the way the imperial princess would be in a fight, though he wasn’t looking forward to get his ass handed to him by those cold and serious eyes. At least Hilda was there, what would guarantee a little of her laid-back attitude will slip into their lessons. Though that may be overrun by the energetic duo of Caspar and Raphael.

“Also,” continued Byleth, taking him back to his current situation “you will join another study group to with Lorenz, Ignatz and Dorothea to get initiated in magic. Felix will join you on this one.”

Those last words seemed to echo in his head for a while. Wait. WAIT. No. Nononononono. The last thing he needs right now is to spend more time with Felix. Nope. That wasn’t a good idea. DEFINITELY not a good idea. 

While his inner self was running in circles panicking, his outer self looked Byleth in the eyes and, with his best attempt at an unbothered and confused look, he approached her.

“Wait, Teach, are you sure about that? Felix? Magic? Wouldn’t it be better if it was Mercedes or…”

“I believe Felix has the required ability to use spells efficiently enough to join this group. He aims to be the most versatile warrior, so I programmed further training in magic to broaden his set of abilities. The other students, especially Dorothea, all possess talent in reason magic so you will increase your knowledge in working together.”

Her voice left no place for argument so Sylvain smiled accepting, turning around towards the axe’s rack where Ashe and Annette had already picked up one while Teach moved towards Ingrid and Dimitri to give them their schedules. He picked one up too, absentmindedly. When he moved to his place next to his classmates to start his eyes wondered to the figure of Felix, who was already punching a bag full of grain, trying out his new gauntlets and seemingly liking them. When he moved his hair escaped his messily tied bun, leaving a few stray hairs framing his angular face, shadowing it and somehow making his eyes seem to burn, as if they were trying to make the punching bag burst into flames. Sylvain was pretty much ready to do it if the bag wasn’t cooperating. 

And that was the problem, the vain of his existence. Because he would do anything to get that gaze to look at him but the fact that that wasn’t (and shouldn’t, his brain helpfully provided) happen was driving him insane. Because Felix had a goal, a path he was aiming to follow, and there was no room for Sylvain in that road.


	2. Curiosity

Claude opened his eyes that morning to…black. Seems like the book he was reading the night before had fallen on his face and his exhausted mind hadn’t even picked up that fact (was this the fourth, or the fifth time it had happened this month?). He moved it aside and walked around the room to collect his uniform (how could the cape end up in the window?) and, once ready, he walked to the door to find a really stressed out Lorenz in his way to knock on the door. Now that he thinks about it, maybe that’s why he woke up even though his eyes were screaming to let them close up shop after another late night session of avid reading. 

“’Morning Lorenz, I see you’re as chipper as always.”

He could see the moment the thought of throwing him out the window passed through Lorenz’s brain before he sighed, clearly done with his antics for today. Good start. 

“Claude, professor Hanneman is going to arrive soon to the class, we need to hurry. It’s not befitting a noble to arrive with such tardiness.”

In the past months, Claude has gained the distinct ability to tune out most of Lorenz’s speeches on nobility, but his grogginess was not helping.

“Yes, yes, poor Lorenz, nobility, noble, yes. Let’s go to the dining hall and grab something before heading to class, I’m starving.”

The rest of the way was spent in quiet bickering, much like every morning since the two of them know each other. It’s not that he doesn’t like Lorenz, he’s alright, but his push to act like his rival and his insistence on all that nobility stuff sometimes makes him a difficult person to deal with in the mornings. 

Once they arrive to the class, Lorenz breathes out in relief when he sees that professor Hanneman hasn’t arrived yet and they can sit down calmly. He walks towards a seat next to Lysithea, who is occupied at the moment with a magic book bigger than her head. Raphael sits at the back with a clearly uncomfortable Ignatz, trying to talk to him will the smaller boy answers with a collection of “ahs” and “uhs”. Leonie is seating next to a column working on her bow with a concentration that Claude wouldn’t dare disturb while Marianne was seating next to her, fidgeting with her hands on her lap.

He moved towards the front row with Hilda, who receives him with a tired smile.

“Hi Claude, another sleepless night?”

“I could ask you the same.” he retaliates, aware that he has hidden any sign of tiredness before exiting his room that morning but Hilda could tell anyway. 

“It wasn’t really that bad this time, just something I’m working on.”

Before he could ask further on this new concept of Hilda working Hanneman entered the class and began another lesson, beginning with battle strategy and ending, as always, in his latest discovery regarding crests. The good thing about this was that he could tune out most of the non-relevant parts and, meanwhile, reading on the next topic he was researching, this time the construction of the monastery and the building’s history. 

Once the agreed break started (one too many 3 hour classes with Hanneman had brought them all together to request a 20-minute break before committing a massacre) Hilda, Leonie and Claude moved to receive a very much needed fresh air when professor Byleth entered the class. 

From the time she appeared in front of him he’d been curious about the new professor. But his own studies and the fact she chose to teach the Blue Lions house made it difficult to approach her with his questions. But before he could get a word out of his mouth she began speaking.

“Good morning,” she greeted with the most monotone voice Claude had ever heard “I’ve already talked to professor Hanneman and professor Manuela about it, but I’m organising inter-house study groups in order to strengthen relationships between houses. You all will be partaking in them for the duration of the year.”

Then she moved towards each and every one of them in order to explain which groups they will be joining and what abilities they would be improving in them. Claude could see the logic behind this plan, as well as the benefits, but he was skeptical. It was one thing to plan a study session that would be directed by the students, and another very different one to actually make it succeed. 

But, in hearing the other’s groups, he could catch on a logic in them. Hilda was put to practice her lance skills in a group with people like Raphael and Caspar, but she was to be joined by the imperial princess, a serious and diligent person wherever there’s one, and Sylvain, who, behind all his carefree attitude, Claude could sense was smart, as well as an expert lance wielder. Marianne was entering with Ignatz into a group with Bernadetta, which in a normal situation would constitute a perfect awkwardness formula, but with the addition of the upbeat Dorothea and the calm and collected Mercedes, together with prince Dimitri, the prototypical knight in shining armour, the group had a balance of shy and hard working that may even work.

While Claude kept on thinking about the groups (how did Lorenz fit into a group with someone like Felix?) the Professor approached him. 

“Claude.” she called to get his attention, that was wandering way to far away (how funny would it be if Ferdinand and Lorenz would battle to earn the title of “most noble of nobles”?) “I talked to Hanneman and he told me that his personalised planning included axes and authority away from your main weapon.”

To be honest, it wasn’t Hanneman’s fault that he had that planned. Claude had been trying to make his approach aim in that way. He had experience in that area so he believed that making the professor focus on those topics with him would leave him with more time to do his own thing. But the look on Byleth’s face, though mostly expressionless, betrayed a change in that dynamic.

“You will practice flying with Leonie. You will be joined by Ingrid and Petra, who both are very familiar with fighting from the air.”

He had no objection on that choice. He had enjoyed flying since childhood, as it was a very important tradition in Almyra. Having the opportunity to enjoy it here brought a small smile to his face. He missed it. He missed lots of things. And he wished somethings hadn’t followed him here.

“I have also planned another group.” She paused for a moment. Sometimes, when she stopped like that before talking, Claude felt like she looked at him like someone who already knew him. A shiver run through his spine. That idea felt too real to be good. “The house leaders are too separated from each other to be the future rulers of Fodlan. You three will join a group together, to practice both authority and politics, as well as to discuss anything you may need to.”

She looked at him so intensely that he was taken aback for a moment. Something told Claude that this was bigger than it seemed to be.

He shook his head, banishing those thoughts to ponder on them later. The middle of class was not the best place to wonder about these things.

“Well Teach, that seems like a plan. I guess I’ll have to give it my best shoot.”

She nodded before moving to Leonie to explain her lessons. Meanwhile, Claude pondered this situation with the house leader group. Edelgard was a mystery, serious and cold, which only made him more curious to know what she was hiding which, if he’s intuition was right, was interesting in the least. Then there was Dimitri. His first impression of the prince of Faerghus was that he was perfect. His manners, his fighting skill, his charisma, it was all on point, worthy of his royal lineage. But the more he thought about it, the more he couldn’t buy it. There had to be cracks in that perfect mask, because there could be no way that everything he showed was his real self. And the more he thought about it, the more he knew he would not stop until he saw what was behind that illusion.


	3. Heartbeat

Dorothea woke up to the beat of steps in front of her room. She was never a heavy sleeper, but the steps together with the continuous high-pitched muttering would have woken up Lindhart. 

She ready to open the door to find meek Bernadetta, who in turn looked at her as if this was the worst possible reality she could be living it. What a way to start the day.

“KYAAAAA, I’m so sorry for waking you up Dorothea, I’m sorry I’m so noisy, I’m sorry I’m this waste of space, I’m so…”

“I’m stopping you there Bern. I needed to get up and you were kind enough to wake me, thank you.”

He accompanied this with a smile that she hoped was reassuring enough to help Bern avoid a mental breakdown. The shorter girl always had a hard time approaching her and she didn’t want to cause any further nervousness for her. 

Bern seemed to breath a little easier before speaking again.

“Pro-Professor Manuela w-was looking f-f-or you before class. S-she’s in the gar-garden.” And with that she sprinted off to her room. It was a huge improvement actually from the time she wouldn’t even venture outside unless dragged to class by Eddie. 

Dorothea walked towards the gardens where she usually met with Manuela to have breakfast before classes and to complain about their latest conquests. Or, as it was common lately, their lack of. 

It’s been a while since Dorothea arrived to the monastery, her main objective to find a suitable candidate to marry. In the beginning, it was going well enough. Everyday she engaged in conversation with different nobles from all around Fodlan, specially among her classmates, including Ferdie (to her dismay), Claude von Riegan (that was a really interesting situation actually, but when it ended she resumed that he was definitely out of her list of candidates) and even that time she tried approaching Felix Hugo Fraldarius to be utterly ignored (she was later aware that he only seemed interested in redheads). 

But, as weeks passed by, no one seemed to fit into the thing she was really looking for. That’s until she dropped her eyes on Petra.

It wasn’t only her strength or her diligence to survive in a foreign world, a hostile world at that, while keeping her customs intact. It was her kindness towards everything and everyone, her sincere approach to life itself that made Dorothea’s heart beat every time she looked at her. It was her curious gaze that appeared every time she encountered something new, and her kind smile when she thanked her for thinking about making Brigidian food, even though her cooking skills left much to be desired. On another level, every time Dorothea thought about those carefully toned arms, built from all that sword and axe practice, as well as her beautiful, long hair in her braid that she dreamed of running her fingers through.

In short, Dorothea fell. She fell bad. She fell bad even though she new it wasn’t a good idea.

Petra was a political prisoner. She was brought to Fodlan to prevent Brigid from raising against the Adrestian Empire any time soon. What would a person that was dragged to another continent to make her country a vassal think about falling in love with someone from that same oppressing power? No, Petra would prefer it if anything that comes from her time in Fodlan would be, at most, friendship.

But that didn’t stop Dorothea from approaching Petra every time. Most of all, even though her heartbeat was faster whenever she saw her, getting her friendship was the most important thing for her at the moment.

She entered the garden to find Manuela already seated in her chair drinking from her cup of “special blend” and looking at the few pairs that were already awake and seated to have their breakfast outside while the weather was nice. The disgust on Manuela’s face made Dorothea giggle.

“Good morning professor Manuela. I see you’re in a good mood.”

“Ah, Dorothea, it’s always a pleasure to see you dear. Come sit.”

They proceed to talk about their previous day, the latest opera that came out back in Adrestia, anything. It was easy talking to Manuela, a person Dorothea had admired for a long time who she could keep on meeting even when her path had lead her towards Garreg Mach. It was familiar and comfortable.

When the time came, both women moved towards their class (Manuela laughing a bit too loud from a cup to many of her blend). Everyone was there, which was a surprise in itself when most days Bern wouldn’t dare leave her room (now she was seated close to a column in the back row, trying to make herself invisible) and Lin wouldn’t get up on most days even if, on the weird instance that he came, he would fall sleep immediately on his seat besides Caspar, who looked at his textbook as if he wanted to chop it in half with his axe. Ferdie was seating alone on the front row with a book in his hands, opening his eyes and smiling to himself whenever a something happened in the story, without being aware of the side glances Hubie was giving him from his seat next to Edie, who, as usual, nodded towards Manuela and Dorothea when they entered and turned towards the front to begin class (sometimes Dorothea felt that Edie should be the one to give the class). 

Dorothea moved then towards her self assigned seat next to Petra, who was looking at her dictionary with a confused look on her face that brought a small smile to Dorothea’s face.

“Good morning Petra, what are you doing?”

The other woman turned to greet her.

“Good morning Dorothea. I was having great difficulty in writing so I search for words to write.”

“What kind of words are you having difficulty with? Maybe I can help you.”

A small blush reached Petra’s cheeks, breaking a little bit of the sanity Dorothea had left.

“It is difficult to explain words from my language to you. Many words you don’t have them, because they are not existing here.”

Dorothea wanted to keep insisting but professor Manuela had begun her lesson on different swordsmanship techniques and she knew Petra would like to learn about it.

Time passed and sometime around the end of the class there was a knock on the door on the door of the class and professor Byleth appeared. As always, there was something about her that made all eyes get drawn to her, as if she was bigger than she appeared. Dorothea caught as Edie’s eyes stayed a second too long on their professor, and, if she wasn’t mistaken, the Professor’s eyes did the same, though the look on her face revealed a different feeling. Fear? Longing? Hope? It was weird to get a feeling from professor Byleth’s face, but something told Dorothea that she may be onto something.

“Good morning everyone. I’m planning with professor Manuela and professor Hanneman to create study groups so everyone can interact with students from other houses and learn in the process. We’re assigning everyone to a group in order to help you develop the abilities we believe suit you best.”

She headed towards Edie and Hubie, saying something to her that caused a frown to appear on Hubie’s face at the same time a pondering look crossed Edie’s. From there she moved towards the rest of the students communicating their new schedules. Lin had to join a group with Annette, Lysithea, Mercedes and Marianne, with which he was strangely pleased (he was muttering something about crests?) while Ferdie would join one with Lorenz and Hubie of all people (that ought to be an interesting group).

Professor Byleth walked then towards Dorothea.

“Dorothea, you are to join two groups. The first one will be to improve your swordsmanship and, if possible, your light magic. It will be with Marianne, Ignatz, Mercedes, Bernadetta and prince Dimitri. I have to ask you to engage in it as much as possible, since I’m counting on you to bring Marianne and Bernadetta out of their shells.”

It’s an important issue you’re putting on my shoulders Professor, she thought. Even she, who didn’t consider herself to be well-versed in the art of teaching, could see the potential people like Bern, with her strength and aim, and Marianne, with her powerful magic, could bring to the battlefield, even when entering into battle is the last thought that Dorothea wants to have in her head. But, somehow, she knew that she would do her best, because it wasn’t everyday that someone like professor Byleth trusted such an important task on an student, even more one from other house (though every student in Garreg Mach had come to consider the quiet woman to be their professor in the short months they’ve spent in the monastery).

“Also,” continued Professor, “you will be practicing magic with Lorenz, Ignatz, Sylvain and Felix. I know it’s a lot, but I believe that the combination of this two groups will help you grow in your abilities greatly.”

She pondered this last group. Lorenz was not someone she liked associating with but she may be able to deal with it with the addition of Ignatz, who was incredibly shy and dedicated and inspired her artist heart at recognizing another. She hadn’t had a good first impression of Felix, but she also knew he was the best swordsman in Garreg Mach, so she could definitely learn from him. As for Sylvain, she knew that there was something behind that flirty personality, someone with who she may be able to get an honest conversation about certain things. 

Relatively interested with the options she was given, she moved to Petra while the Professor moved towards a trembling Bern. 

“Who are you in a group with Petra? Are you learning something interesting?”

“Yes, very many things!” she said, excited. “I will be learning flying with Ingrid, who is very knowing of flying. I will practice with my bow too, with Ashe and Leonie. I am having great excitement!”

Dorothea smiled fondly at the other woman, glad that she was so happy about this outcome. At that moment she thought that, whatever happens in the future, she would do whatever it took to keep that smile on her face.


	4. Sparks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a bit long but bear with me please. Enjoy!

Two days after their notice by Byleth, after his lessons and a light lunch, Sylvain walked with Ashe to the Golden Deer class to meet with Hilda and Raphael in order to walk to the Knight’s Hall, where they agreed to meet with Caspar and Edelgard. He was still wondering how all this would turn out (and how many hours of his day would it occupy, he needed to know if he could visit the town), but he wouldn’t dare go against Teach’s orders. He was somehow incapable of, even though his instincts told him that going to his group with Felix would end in utter disaster both for their friendship and for Sylvain’s heart.

Once they reach the Golden Deer classroom Hilda approaches them, with Raphael tailing after her like the mountain of sunshine he is.

“Hey guys, let’s move. The princess will be waiting for us and she’s suuuuper scary, so I don’t want her to feel like giving us extra work.”

“You really know how to cheer up a man Hilda.” said Sylvain, smirking at the laugh he got from her at that commentary. He was VERY aware that he had 0 chances with her, but it was always nice to play nice with someone like her.

Once they arrive, Edelgard is waiting for them, with a pouting Caspar next to her, who seemed anxious to start moving rather than sit for a prolonged period of time.

“Hello everyone. I’m glad you all made on time.” Edelgard spoke in a way that told everyone that anything other than perfect punctuality would be noted by the imperial princess. “I propose we start with an assessment on each of your abilities at the moment. Ashe, care to begin?”

Sylvain felt the shorter man jump at the mention of his name, certainly not used to being addressed the first. He started stumbling on his words to no end, at which point Sylvain jumped to help.

“He’s an excellent archer. He’s actually really fast and nimble. He saved us more than once with that.”

Ashe looked at him with a grateful smile before speaking himself.

“My main weapon is the bow, yes. It’s the thing I’m most comfortable with but I talked with professor Byleth and she suggested me to try and practice with a lance, or an axe, whatever I feel most comfortable with.”

At the mention of Byleth, the princess’ factions softened slightly. It was such a subtle change that Sylvain thought that no one caught it save maybe Hilda (she was scarily good at reading people’s faces). But the change didn’t last long because Edelgard was now turning her lilac eyes towards Sylvain, prompting him to begin his tale.

“Well, guess one could say I’m not to bad with a lance, and I’m pretty familiar with horses and wyverns. Pretty comfortable with having someone between my legs really.”

Hilda had to stifle a laugh behind her hand while Ashe turned scarlet and Caspar and Raphael looked slightly confused. The princess didn’t even blink, she just looked at him as if she was trying to decipher a particularly tiresome puzzle. Don’t know what she found, but she moved to Hilda with complete efficiency, continuing their presentations without any further comment.

They moved to the training area of the Knight’s Hall then and Edelgard took the leading role from then on (as expected).

“Well, to begin with, I would like you to each of you pick an axe and come at me. That will help me see what we can do with each of you.” She the moved towards Raphael. “I want you to go first.”

The other blinked confused for a moment

“Sure, I can do that. But be careful, I have way more muscles than you, I may crush you.”

The sincerity of his voice brought a laugh out of Caspar and a small smile to Edelgard’s lips.

“Please don’t worry about me. Come at me with everything you’ve got.”

The other shrugged and picked up an axe, positioning himself for an attack. Edelgard remained calm, holding her weapon calmly and assessing her rival with cold eyes.  
Raphael went ahead with a frontal attack, moving surprisingly fast for someone so big. But Edelgard avoided the frontal attack by dipping down and positioning herself at Raphael’s side, poking him with her weapon.

“You shouldn’t run like that to your enemy. An axe is not like your fists, it has longer reach, so you have to think through your movements before because you won’t have time to change your attack midway as with your fists. It doesn’t have the reach of a lance” she then looked at both Sylvain and Ashe. “which has a longer reach and can pierce more accurately through an enemy’s vitals, but the force you have to apply to make it work is greater thus the attack is heavier and can take out bigger enemies. Next, Caspar.”

They continued challenging the princess, all of them falling defeated, even though the duel between her and Hilda lasted way longer than anyone could have expected given the latter’s aversion to anything involving effort.

During her duel with Sylvain, he managed to take her off-guard a few times, borrowing movements he had witnessed Ingrid perform against heavily armed enemies and adapting them to the length of the axe. But his lack of actual practice and Edelgard’s reflexes granted her the victory, even though she looked at him with a mixture of curiosity and disappointment in her eyes. Not the first time he received that look from anyone so he just moved to the side and let her begin her lecture.

“You all have the ability to begin with some training with an axe, definitely. Tomorrow, I would like to practice with lances and brawling so I will ask Sylvain and Raphael to get ready for tomorrow with some tips on how to lead with that. That’ll be all, you can all leave.”

It was impressive the way that, from the very beginning, Edelgard had taken control of the situation and organised the group in a way that they could all practice to their fortes. That took some real leadership skills in someone so young.

“Sylvain, can I talk to you for a second?”

He stopped on his tracks to look at the princess. She looked determined, which, if his experience with Ingrid’s behavioural patterns was correct, she wanted something from him and she would get it.

“Sure princess, I would commit treason for you.”

Was that a smile what just flashed through her face? Nah, he must be dreaming.

“It won’t be anything so serious. I would like to invite you to join me for a chess game this Saturday afternoon. Are you available?”

Something told Sylvain that there was a serious situation behind that offering, something that he would normally try to avoid for the sake of not complicating his life more than it already is. But…

“Sure, why not? Are we betting something?”

“No, just an old-fashioned game. Maybe we can both take something from it?"

And with that she moved towards the central building, leaving Sylvain pondering her words before leaving for his second group and his personal nightmare/dream come true.

* * *

Sylvain walked towards the Black Eagles class, the place where they agreed to meet up, dragging his feet. He normally spends all his classes exerting some short of self-control on how close he is with Felix, both not to make the other uncomfortable and to preserve his own impulse of putting his hand on his shoulder or come as close as possible to see for himself if he still smells like dust and metal.

He acknowledged his crush on his childhood friend the same day Felix lost everything he cared about in his life. He remembered seeing him at Glenn’s funeral, looking at his brother’s casket as if any moment he would get up from there and everyone could go back to their normal selves.

Sylvain remembered clearly how Ingrid was crying on his shoulder, unable to hold every feeling overwhelming her at the death of one of the people she admired the most. Dimitri, already shaken and changed after the lost of his whole family and recovering from his wounds, wasn’t able to attend, but Sylvain remembered the distinct emptiness that took him over on the days after the tragedy of Duscur. One way or another, Sylvain knew that Dimitri wouldn’t recover from it, and the person that would come back from that atrocity would not be the pure and kind-hearted kid he used to call friend.

But the sight of Felix, standing next to his father while Rodrigue went on on how proud he was of his eldest son and how he embodied the ideals of chivalry and what a knight ought to be. He witnessed as Felix grew significantly paler with each word said by his father and the wall that Rodrigue was building between him and his youngest son with every word he said.

After the funeral, Sylvain stayed with Ingrid, helping her to regain a degree of composure before meeting her father who, the moment he knew of Glenn’s death, went back to look for a new fiancé for his daughter, the mere thought bringing bile to Sylvain’s mouth, he couldn’t imagine how Ingrid was dealing with the situation at home. Once they both deemed that she was well enough to go to the room house Fraldarius had provided for both her and Sylvain (both had requested time to their families to spend it with Felix and Dimitri, to the dismay to both Ingrid’s father and margrave Gautier, who was disapproving of any activity that didn’t involve Sylvain passing down his crest through a noble partner), Sylvain left her to go look for Felix.

He went to the training grounds, eerily empty without the sound of clashing iron and Glenn’s laugh at the children’s latest antics. He then went to the library, finding Felix’s favourite place next to the fire place empty, as well as a book on Srengi history that Glenn had recommended him a few months ago but Sylvain hadn’t been around enough to actually get it.

He finally reached Felix’s room, which he realised was looked the moment he tried to enter unannounced.

“Felix,” he whispered before knocking the door to call his friend. “Felix, its me, Sylvain, open up.”

He could hear someone moving inside the room, but not towards the door.

“Go away Sylvain.”

“I’m not leaving until I make sure that you’re alright.”

At that, Sylvain heard the steps reaching the door before it opened suddenly. Felix, whose smile’s used to be honest and easily prompted, whose eyes looked at Sylvain as if he was the best thing that happened to him whenever he visited, whose hands where as steady holding a sword as holding your hand when you needed it, was not okay. His hair was in a disarray, his hands were trembling where he held the doorknob, and his eyes were red and puffy from the crying as a new tear run from his left eye in a look that broke Sylvain’s heart in a million pieces and almost brought him to tears.

“Okay? OKAY? Do you think I can be okay after everything? After hearing everyone talking about Glenn as a hero, as someone that died honorably for his country and his king? After hearing my own father repeating those same words?” He paused a moment to breath in before he continued, with the utterly broken voice Sylvain had ever heard from him. “When my brother is never coming back? When I can’t even remember the last time I told him I loved him?”

Sylvain moved before he could think about it, embracing Felix with every fiber of his being. Felix tensed up, but then he relaxed and Sylvain could feel his tears starting again in all their power, as well as his cries.

He closed the door, moving them so he could lay Felix down on the bed without breaking contact with him. He clung to Sylvain as if he was in the middle of the ocean and he was the only thing keeping him afloat. Sylvain held his hand until his breathing was more controlled and then he spoke in barely more than a whisper.

“I don’t expect you to be okay. I don’t expect anything. I just don’t want you to shut yourself from the rest of the world. I want you to know that whatever happens, no matter how dire the situation seems or how alone you feel, you will always have me. I will always be there for you.” He took a deep breath and squeezed Felix’s hand, feeling his copper eyes on his’. “I promise I will be there for you no matter what.”

Felix remained quiet, looking at him with such intensity that Sylvain felt the urge to avert his gaze. He hadn’t realized that it had been snowing, cooling the air around them until the warmth of Felix’s hand in his seemed like the only warmth he would feel for the rest of his life. It was odd how okay he was with that thought.

“Don’t you dare leave me” whispered Felix, with all the desperation of someone who had lost everything and felt that nothing would ever be okay again. Sylvain smiled reassuringly.

“Never. We will be together, until we die together.”

That night, after Felix had fallen asleep holding his hand, his frown permanent as bad thoughts plagued his dreams, Sylvain observed the snow falling against the balcony window illuminated by the light of a single candle. Felix’s face was coloured by that light, making Sylvain reach his hand to cup his face and swoon when the other boy moved closer to it, searching for its warmth. He decided, right there next to Felix and feeling that there was no other place he belonged more, that, no matter what, he would keep his promise to Felix even if it cost him his life.

Since then, Sylvain felt an instant pull towards the swordsman, something he cannot seem to escape. Not that he really wants to.

He was the last one to arrive to the class, with Lorenz sipping from a cup of tea calmly while Ignatz looked slightly nervous next to Dorothea, who was smiling knowingly at the boy and laughing quietly. Felix was on the other side of the room, only deciding to join the rest of the group once Sylvain had taken a seat, seating on the opposite side of him on the circularly arranged table. Subtle.

Dorothea looked at all of them and, sensing the increasing awkwardness in the room she decided to speak.

“Well, seems like we’ll be stuck with each other for a while, eh.”

“Your beauty illuminates this room full of uncultured beasts.”

“I would prefer if we were alone, but a man can dream.”

Sylvain looked at Lorenz when he realized they had talked at the same time and glared at him. It seemed like the feeling was mutual because the noble glared back, looking at him as if he was the lowest dirt on the Earth. At this exchange, Ignatz seemed to relax slightly, Felix scoffed and muttered something under his breath about some goddess dammed idiots and Dorothea laughed at their antics with all her might.

Once Sylvain and Lorenz stopped, she took back the leading role.

“So, I’ve heard you are working on magic now? Show me what you’ve got.”

At that, Lorenz jumped immediately at the challenge and summoned a fireball to his hand, making it twirl around his fingers expertly before vanishing. Dorothea nodded appreciatively.

“Although my time was short, I did attend the Fhirdiad School of Sorcery. My magic abilities are beyond compare.”

At that, Dorothea chuckled and looked at Lorenz again, this time coldly. She then summoned lighting to hit just behind where Lorenz was seated, making him almost jump from his chair and propel a shout not very dignified for a noble. Sylvain almost lost it. He would have, if it weren’t for the rare half-smile that Felix was sporting, which brought him back to his senses.

“Just so you know,” said Dorothea, with the voice of someone that was used to make people bend to her will. “I don’t care what you do outside but, in this class, we are all equals, and we are all here to learn something from the rest. I don’t care about your noble education, sit down, and show a bit of restraint. No wonder that redhead hates you.”

With that last remark Lorenz’s face exploded and he seemed to want to retort but one look at Dorothea made him close his mouth and lower his head. Sylvain felt then the sudden urge to clap. And pray he doesn’t get on the sorcerer’s bad side.

“This thing dealt with,” she moved on. “the rest. Show me.”

They all had had some basic theory on reason magic, but hadn’t really practiced that much. Ignatz moved first, who seemed to have an idea of what he was doing, invoked a few snow flakes in the room and made them dance in the air above them. Sylvain then, not wanting to be outclassed by Lorenz of all people, created a fireball in his hand and tried to bring another one to life in his other hand just to make a few sparks appear and embarrass himself. Then there was Felix, who seemed hesitant for some reason.

“Come on Felix, don’t leave us waiting.” Egged him Dorothea, who was just as curious about what was happening as the rest of them.

“Is there any problem?” Asked Ignatz, slightly worried.

Sylvain studied Felix’s face looking for any sign of discomfort. It didn’t seem like he couldn’t, as he would have seen him trying all day or asking Annette for advice if that were the case. But there was something wrong. He just seemed so reluctant.

Finally, he took a small breath and put his hands parallel to each other. Then, a few bolts of lightning runned from one hand to the other cutting the air through his fingers with their light.

They all looked at it appreciatively, specially Dorothea who seemed pleased that Felix first spell was one she had already dominated. But Sylvain kept looking at Felix’s face, which seemed paler the more he looked at the sparks running from his fingers.

He stopped and crossed his arms, which was Felix to “I don’t want to talk about it”. The rest looked a bit confused but Sylvain, sensing the situation, distracted the group picking on Lorenz again and the day went on.

Once they finished it was already late in the afternoon and soon dinner would be served in the dinning hall. They all moved towards there except for Felix, who walked towards the training grounds instead. Noticing, Sylvain followed him. Once the other noticed he stopped to glare at him.

“What are you doing?” asked Felix, with that annoyed tone he used when he wanted Sylvain to leave him alone to train himself to death.

“I’m just keeping you company.” He replied. “It’s been a long day and we haven’t really talked that much.”

“If this is about what happened back there…”

“It isn’t. You don’t have to talk about anything you don’t want to. I’m just here, as I said, to keep you company. The rest is up to you.”

He looked at Sylvain for a moment as if he didn’t know what to believe.

“Don’t you have like, a thousand girls to flirt with? Just go.”

“Oh my Felix, if you wanted me to flirt with you that badly I would have done so a while ago.”

The moment the words left his mouth he knew he fucked up. Too much truth came out in that sentence, too much for him to be comfortable with, not talking about too much to express to Felix of all people. But the result was a bit unexpected.

A crimson blush extended from Felix’s neck to the points of his ears, colour his usually very pale skin brightly. Sylvain was stunned for a moment at the momentous and breathtaking of the image before Felix turned and renewed his march to the training grounds without saying a word. Still a bit stunned, Sylvain followed him, as if Felix had activated a magnetic force around himself that attracted Sylvain to him. Not that he really would need that to do it.

Once in the training grounds, Felix started, going through the motions of his sword routine, stabbing invisible enemies while Sylvain watched, still entranced. After a while, the other spoke.

“It was the first.”

Sylvain said nothing but he came closer to signal for the other to continue.

“It was the first thing Glenn taught me. I couldn’t manage to hold a real sword but I was still scared of having to fight someday and not being able to. He pulled me aside and run me through the lightning spell. He told me if anyone ever came to close to just zap him like that. That it would protect me.” He paused, looking at Sylvain’s hand that was close to his side, but yet so far. “I sometimes wished it had protected him.”

Sylvain took Felix’s hand then, consequences be damned. He looked so fragile at that moment, Felix, who nowadays was all sharp edges and harsh truths. That he was letting himself be this vulnerable in front of Sylvain even though he didn’t deserve it in the slightest brought him and amount of joy he knew he shouldn’t be feeling. But Felix didn’t push him away. He let him hold his hand for a while. Sylvain running circles with his thumb on the skin to warm it.

When they separated, his hand was oddly cold and he watched Felix cross his arms then and look at him before uttering a soft “let’s go” and marching off to the dining hall, leaving a confused Sylvain behind.


	5. Real

Had he ever said he loves Judith? Cause he loves her, he really does. Maybe his now fresh brain thanks to the coffee she sent him was talking for him, but the feeling was no less true. A messenger had arrived the day before with a package from Judith containing the priceless treasure coffee was in Fodlan. He won’t ever admit it to anyone (he barely admitted it to himself), but he sometimes craved something more familiar, like his mother’s infusion, but coffee was a good substitute, as Almyra had had less problems with Dagda in the past and they were more willing to sell it at a lower price to them than to anyone in Fodlan.

More awake that he’s felt all week, he took with more enthusiasm his extra lessons, arriving to the stables with Leonie to already find Ingrid and Petra there. Ingrid was already combing her fingers through her pegasus’ mane, which prompted the beast to reach his neck for her hand the moment she tried to move slightly away to talk to Petra. The two girls laughed at the animal’s antics before Ingrid moved to shush nothings to it. She really had a way with these creatures. Petra looked longingly at it, seeming to reminisce on some far away memory with these creatures when they heard a roar from the two wyverns at the back, waking her to move towards them.

Claude had always had an special respect for the three women present here. Leonie was his partner, the person he knew he could go to without fearing being judged on his ideas, so different from Fodlan’s traditions. The fact she had a knack for managing Lorenz was a plus. Ingrid englobed the ideal of the “perfect knight”, so enshrined in this culture, but rode it with grace, holding her ground against anyone and refusing to be ashamed of herself, confronting people who offended her head on with a honesty that just baffled him. Through her, he felt that his understanding of the way those, for him, wasteful traits had perdured in Fodlan grew. Anyone would want to live in a world defended by knights as loyal and brave as her.

Then there was Petra. His connection with her run on a different level. Whenever he saw her, he was reminded of his home, or, more specifically, lack of it. Her position inside the empire, her very obviously foreign features and her way of doing things branded as an outsider from Fodlan’s point of view so clearly that he instantly felt sympathy for her. But she was not like him. She was a prisoner, but she lived among her captors unapologetically, living her traditions openly and learning about others’ at the same time. It was a possibility Claude fiercely wished for. To feel at home in this land of foreigners, to feel accepted. He admired and envied her at the same time.

His situation was delicate, to say the least. No one was ready to know that the grandson of duke Riegan was half Almyran, much less to know what he was going to do if he reaches his grandfather’s place in the roundtable. Sometimes, he just wished he could shout it all to the sky, to confess everything and tear up the Locket brick by brick.

But his dream was more important that his feelings. If he achieved it, he would surely be happy then. Accepted. Loved.

“Hey ladies, what’s the plan with our first class?” He asked, leaving that train of thought for a more appropriate time.

“Petra and I were discussing about making a few basic drills for now.” Answered Ingrid. “We will try out the animals and, if everything goes right, we will take 4 or 5 loops around the monastery, to get a feel of the way we should ride in the air.”

Efficient as always this Ingrid. Claude moved next to Petra towards the wyverns while Ingrid introduced Leonie to her pegasus, being as she hadn’t ever ridden one before and was forced into this group by Teach to learn (she really was lucky Ingrid was here, at least Claude was atrocious with those things).

Clade walked slowly as he approached his wyvern, aware that sudden movements could provoke these creatures’ wrath a prompt them to wreck havoc. The animal looked at him suspiciously, but he didn’t stop him, or threatened him so he continued, reaching both his hands face down for it to examine them. It seemed like it approved as it came closer to put his head under Claude’s palms, and indicator that he could go on it.

Once he was settled, he looked around to find Petra, already on her wyvern with the confidence of someone whose been all her life on one, observing him.

“I have not seen the people of Fodlan get the wyvern in that way. They are more…forcing in their riding. You greeted the beast.”

He plastered a practiced half smile on his face and damned himself for his carelessness. He hadn’t ridden in so long, instinct took over, practicing the routine he always did since the first time he was brought to meet his just-hatched wyvern back in Almyra. Of course Petra noticed that was way to natural from him to be something he learned casually, and in Fodlan of all places. He had to think of something, fast.

“I had this weird teacher, back when I was young.” He started, careful not to reveal too much and keeping his voice steady. “He used to do this whenever he got close to a wyvern. I’ve ridden one a few times, but, every time, I can’t help but remember that man and I do that. He said it was something about, treating the wyvern as a partner? Can’t remember, too long ago.”

Petra nodded curiously at his story and started asking questions about his teacher, and his family. He already had some answers ready for those types of questions, calling back Nader’s image to give honesty to his stories and be able to carry a conversation with Petra for a while without feeling like a complete liar.

Once they all were ready, with Leonie in a carefully positioned posture on her mount, Ingrid whistled and they took of with a startled cry coming from the second pegasus that was soon swallowed by the wind in Claude’s ears.

There was nowhere in the world for him to call home, but the air had always been an ally in those lonely times, sheltering him from the eyes and voices of those around him and filling him with a sense of freedom so intense the first times he took flight he actually cried in relief.

The landscape changed, instead of an arid area with the horizon extending as far as the eye could reach there were mountains, valleys and buildings everywhere, another evidence of his new reality. But everything was new. Everything he learned here, everything he achieved and experienced was fascinating and meaningful to him in a way nothing else had been back in Almyra. Here he could change everything, bring about the dream he so desperately yearned for.

But, for now, he concentrated on the wind in his ears, the wyvern under him and Ingrid guiding them at the vanguard of their small group.

“ _Let’s show them what we can do._ ” He murmured to his steed in Almyrian without thinking much about it. He hopes he will be able to turn back to Fodlandi after.

He picked up speed, urging the wyvern to fly faster until he was circling round the Goddess Tower, where he landed for a moment to wait for the others and the sure shouting he would receive from Ingrid the moment she caught him (sometimes she was so much fun to tease).

He observed the activity of the monastery, with monks and students alike running around the grounds, some fast, some slow, to their several tasks. It was weird watching everything from above really. Everything seemed so small, so meaningless. But it had more meaning that he could ever really realise. That was the fun of it all. Gazing at the unknown, and enjoying the view.

He thought he spotted a familiar blue cape on the way to the training grounds. Prince Dimitri, as always, walking towards it with such determination Claude had the urge to laugh fondly. He was so serious, so honest with his actions sometimes, not wanting to disappoint anyone or make it seem that he wasn’t taking something seriously. It was on character, and he admired it, but Claude didn’t buy it. There was something behind it all. And, this time, when facing that blank page that was his knowledge of His Highness, he was determined to scavenge every single thing he could get from him.

He was awakened when a knife flew towards his side without touching him, breaking his concentration and prompting him to almost take out the knife inside his boot if it weren’t for the shout that came after it, coming from a very pissed off Leonie.

“Hey you jerk! Don’t break formation, if you do we’re doing nothing here!”

He scratched the back of his head sheepishly seeing Ingrid glaring at him with a look that could freeze hell.

“Well, guess I’m in trouble.” He said to his wyvern. “Don’t rat me out?” He asked jokingly when thinking about his words to the animal in a clearly foreign language. The wyvern said nothing, obviously, and Claude got on a walked towards what he knew would be the lecture of a lifetime.

Once they landed again and lead their animals to their stalls, Leonie came stomping to him, as expected.

“Claude, what the hell? What was that for?”

He laughed sheepishly, hoping his apologetic smile helped a bit.

“I just wanted to try it out. It’s been a while since I flew, I wanted to see how it was.”

Leonie squinted her eyes at him, suspicious, but she gave up with a big sigh and moved towards the Knight’s Hall, where she had the next class with Petra. Then, it was only Claude and Ingrid in the stables. She was suspiciously quiet, which told him he should be careful now.

“I know you were lying when you said that you didn’t have much experience flying.” Well, guess he fucked up. Don’t panic, don’t panic, think, THINK. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone.”

He looked up then, confused. She was pretty calm, seemingly guessing her last statement would confuse him a bit. She nodded at him.

“I don’t know why you lied and you don’t owe me an explanation. But,” her menacing glare came back full force then. “when I say you need to keep in formation, you keep in formation. The Professor asked me to lead this group as best as I can, but it will be impossible for me to do that if you run off to do your thing whenever you want. You may be experienced but even the most experienced rider can fall. So I’ll make it clear: don’t ever pull that shit on me again or I’ll push you myself.”

His smile dropped at the harshness in her tone. Ingrid never swore. Like, ever. When he heard it, it caused him such a shock that he almost stumbled back, so, when she was done and waiting for an answer, the best he could work up for was a nod, at which point she relaxed and moved towards the dining hall.

She was worried. Worried something happened to me, thought Claude, still amazed at what just happened. He took a moment to breath and compose himself internally (he had enough practice to be able to maintain his outer composure against these things, but inside he had been rattled hard).

Sometimes he dared to wonder. He came to this land to realise his dream, to escape Almyra and to grow in a different environment, learn new things and make a change. But he was still amazed at the things he received. A smile crept through his face, too bright, too real maybe. This wasn’t what he imagined home to be but, after Leonie’s outburst, Petra’s kindness and Ingrid’s sheer fierceness, he felt like this could be a start.

* * *

He walked towards the second floor of the central building, towards the library. It’s where the three house leaders had agreed to meet, but he was certain that, after his conversation with Ingrid he was definitely late. But at least he wasn’t the only one.

Dimitri was walking to the stairs at full speed, a worried frown plastered on his face and with his friend Dedue behind him, calm and collected where his lord was all smiles and courtesy. When the prince spotted Claude he dropped the speed, walking the rest of the way to meet him with a smile. They started moving towards the library together.

“Claude! Good thing you too are late. I would have felt awful if I interrupted the meeting arriving late.”

That made Claude genuinely laugh. They really were different.

“Don’t worry about it Your Highness, you know what they say, you always have to arrive to a meeting fashionably late to get a good entrance.”

“That doesn’t sound like something you should take to heart as future duke Riegan.” He replied, all honest worry and confusion at Claude’s weird ideas.

“You can be such a killjoy sometimes Your Princeliness.”

“I’m sorry, but I really don’t think it’s a good idea to practice that tactic in the future Claude.”

Claude felt awful the moment he heard the apology and looked at him intently before speaking.

“I was joking Your Highness; you have nothing to apologise about.” Though a part of him found it immensely funny he didn’t caught on that. And also kind of cute.

“Oh.” He blushed a bit, embarrassed. “Okay. My apologies, I’m not very good with casual banter.”

“No worries, we have time to fix that. Besides, I saw you laughing at one of Alois’ jokes, so I guess its on me to not have guessed as much.”

The other was about to retort when they arrived to the library, the heart of Garreg Mach’s knowledge and the second most common place to find a wild Claude these past months, given the seer amount of times someone had dragged him and Lindhart out of it at clearly inappropriate times to be there.

They walked to the top part of the room, walking among piles of books that Clade had the urge to go through when they arrived to the table where Edelgard had settled, her hands linked over the table facing them, and her retainer Hubert (who, Claude thought, was like a shadow to the future emperor, although one too similar to a bat to not be too noticeable in the monastery) standing behind her.

The other two house leaders took a seat and started looking to one another, clearly uncomfortable about this situation and conflicted on who should begin. So Clade decided to break that bubble.

“I know you guys are really close, but I think that you won’t need your retainers for this. I thought we were going to talk, not plan a coup d’état.”

“Hubert won’t disturb our meeting, I can assure you of that Claude.”

“Certainly, you can assure me Princess.” He retorted to the princess. “But, as you are well, your precious retainer is a very skilled dark magic user who would be very much willing to pulverize me if I step out of line for even a second during this meeting. Sorry if I don’t feel too comfortable with that over my head.”

“You won’t have to worry about any of that if you know where your place is Claude von Riegan.” Replied Hubert menacingly.

“Hubert, that won’t be necessary.” Edelgard move swiftly to calm her retainer. “I’m perfectly capable of defending myself. You may go.”

“As you wish.” With that, Hubert walked towards the stairs and then to the door, leaving the library.

“You can leave too Dedue. It won’t be fair that I still have you here while Claude and Edelgard are alone. Thank you for accompanying me, it helped a lot.”

A look passed between lord and retainer, both making sure they were really okay with the decision taken and, with a bow towards both Claude and Edelgard, Dedue left the same way Hubert just did.

Claude had always been curious about the relationship between Dedue and Dimitri. They both were so honest and kind to each other. But, underneath it all, there was an underlying loyalty that fascinated Claude to the bone. He didn’t know how Dimitri had earned Dedue’s loyalty, and he was immensely curious to know about that story, but, what he really wanted to know about was the loyalty Dimitri had for Dedue. That a retainer held loyalty towards their lord was expected, but the opposite being true was some next level commitment. What prompted it? How? When? Why? How did it feel?

“Well, I believe your complains have been satisfied Claude.” Said Edelgard

He almost jumped in his place.

“Oh yes, very much so. To be honest, I though you both would refuse. You both are really joined to the hip with your seconds.”

“Dedue is my most trusted man. I know I can trust him, so I do.”

“The same can be said about Hubert. He has been with me for a long time. He is my most trustworthy ally.”

“Geez, okay, okay, I didn’t plan to offend you. It just wasn’t fair both of you had back up here, don’t think too much about it.”

It really was going to be a long meeting with these two if this is how they’re starting. He shook his head.

“I guess we started on the wrong foot. Let’s start easy. How about we talk about our last class? Like that we can review how our groups are going and maybe assess each other if we have any problem, so we can practice that thing Teach mention about cooperation and so.”

At the mention of Teach Edelgard’s expression turned from completely closed of to plain blank. He couldn’t interpret what that really was about.

“Very well. I can start then.” She pushed a notebook she had been looking over when they arrived towards them. It was full of carefully written notes in tight calligraphy. As he read through it, Claude realised they were personalised training programs for every member of her group, including Hilda and Raphael. He repressed the urge to laugh. That was going to be good. “My group began with axe training as our first activity. I showed them the proper way to move around in combat with one, the hold and the feel of the weapon. Hilda and Caspar are naturally adept to it, which will help me in the long run when I plan to have them practice more heavily with it. Ashe is not particularly strong, so the axe could help him boost that factor but I have the impression that’s not the way to go with him. As for Sylvain and Raphael, they sure have the ability to use it, but Raphael is too prone to act without thinking so it difficults his progress. Meanwhile, Sylvain has the brain to use the weapon effectively, as well as the strength, but he doesn’t seem comfortable using the weapon, in addition to a lack of will to actually practice with it for what it seems.”

Dimitri moved forward, an apologetic look on his face.

“Ashe is a good boy. He’s hardworking and diligent. But I believe he is more suited for a more dexterity-based weapon like the lance, due both to his ability with a bow and his dream to become a knight. As for Sylvain…” He exhaled. “I really don’t have a solution for you. Ingrid and Felix have been trying to get his to train, he is really talented, but it all falls to naught. There’s really no other answer for me to give you.”

Edelgard nodded and took some notes on her notebook. Claude wondered how Dimitri didn’t include himself into the group who pushed Sylvain to the training grounds. Wasn’t Sylvain one of his childhood friends? There was something there.

“As for me,” began Dimitri, rudely interrupting Claude’s inner thoughts. “My training program is not this detailed I’m afraid. Today I wanted them to try out swords, as that was the task Professor commended me. It had…some results. Ignatz was really competent with it, though he lacks a bit of strength in his movements. Marianne and Dorothea had had some experience with swords I heard, but though the movements were good their technique left many holes in their defense. As for Mercedes…well, lest to say I’m definitely not considering trying to move her towards training with a sword ever again. It really is pointless to insist.”

“Incredible, the noble prince of Faerghus, defeated by a stubborn Mercedes. I would love to have seen that.” That provoked a huge blush to again reach havoc across Dimitri’s skin. He was liking this dynamic. “Well, my feedback. Princess, I should warn you that getting Hilda to work on anything is a difficult task, so getting her to train will be, to put it bluntly, a pain in the ass for you. Can’t really advice you on that, I’m still trying to figure it out myself. Maybe try to get her into many things? That way she will at least pick up something while she ignores the rest. As for Raphael, you can work him out to learn any combat you want but, if you allow me to give you an idea, you could try getting him to teach brawling. He is really passionate about that, so he may be difficult to follow sometimes, but I haven’t seen anyone who fights like he does, maybe it’ll work?

“As for my deers working under His Highness, I may have a bit more. Marianne is more into magic and that stuff, she doesn’t really like weapons that much. But her real problem lies in her self-esteem. She believes she can’t do anything, so she doesn’t really try that much. Work on that line, maybe you can get something from there. Meanwhile, with Ignatz you just need to motivate him a bit, that will help him. Talk to him, get to know the guy, that’ll probably prompt him to work harder everyday and move faster. Hoped that helped.”

The other two were looking at him as if he just had sprouted off the chair.

“Did I say something weird?” Asked Claude, cautious.

“No, no, not at all.” Tried to reassure him Dimitri. “It’s just, you really have thought about this.”

“Didn’t you?” He retorted. “You have your plans and schedules. My lesson consisted on being bitten off by Ingrid and Leonie for acting like a baby while Petra smiled but didn’t move to save me. I had time to think about it.”

He heard a scoff. Dimitri was covering his mouth with his hand, trying to supress a laugh that came unexpectedly.

“My apologies,” he answered quickly at Claude’s surprised expression. “I’m not used to Ingrid yelling to other people. They all get so surprised the first time.”

“I appreciate your feedback Claude, I believe it can prove useful.” Edelgard was looking at him intensely, though if she was looking at him or thinking about his suggestions he didn’t know.

“Well, I didn’t expect to be praised so fervently for my analysis by Your Highnesses, I’m honoured.”

Dimitri shook his head, defeated, and Edelgard seemed to smirk at him, amused at his antics. These royals and their weird things (yes, he got the irony in that, but they didn’t).

“Anyways Your Highness, what’s your mission this month?”

From then on, the meeting continued on discussing their class activities, how professor Byleth informed them on their missions at the beginning of the month (though this time she was delaying it, with Ashe still mourning the passing of his adoptive father and she wanting him to mourn properly before throwing him into battle again), the latest show professor Manuela had pulled off in a drunken state when teaching, bringing Ferdinand out to teach him a sword dancing technique (Hubert had almost fallen to the floor from the shook) and the time professor Hanneman had been so absorbed in his rumbling that he didn’t realise they had all left the classroom to the dining room until 3 hours later. It almost seems like we are normal people, though Claude to himself, wondering. I would be interesting if that were true.

Once they exchanged their goodbyes Dimitri moved to the stairs. Claude was going to follow when Edelgard stopped him.

“Would you be interested in a chess game this Saturday Claude?”

Taken aback by the sudden forwardness, Claude replied with another question.

“Why so forward Princess? Any plan you want to share with me that Prince Dimitri can’t know about?”

“Nothing of the sort.” She answered bluntly. The air around her had changed during the time they had been talking. “I believe he is not a great fun of such games. You, on the contrary, seem like the kind of person that would enjoy them fully. So then, do you want to join me?”

Claude was convinced this was more than a game of chess. 100% sure more like it.

“Sure, sounds interesting. Maybe I’ll get to know you a bit better after it. That would be interesting to see.” He smirked then at the penetrating look Edelgard was rewarding him with. Simple game of chess my ass.

She nodded before leaving, with Claude watching her open the door of the library from the second floor. He himself left after that (not without taking half a dozen books to look over during the week), walking along the corridors illuminated by the sunset.

When he reached the front door, he moved towards the Reception Hall when, out of reflex, he looked at the bridge that joined the cathedral with the rest of the Officer’s Academy. There he saw Dimitri walking towards the building, his back to Claude and completely alone, without Dedue by his side. He looked…different somehow, like, at that very moment, he wasn’t the same person that a few minutes ago was laughing aloud at something Claude said. He looked, somehow lonelier. And angrier.

Claude followed him at a careful distance, being careful not to be seen. Dimitri moved to the right part of the monastery, towards the Goddess Tower. It was an isolated area, with few people walking through it normally.

Claude positioned himself far enough not to be seen, but close enough to hear anything said. In the beginning, Dimitri only held onto the wall on the bridge that connected the Goddess Tower with the cathedral., watching the sun set slowly and saying nothing. But then he started murmuring something that Claude could not quite hear. Dimitri seemed distressed, his partially hidden features tight and his hands turning into fists. The only thing Claude heard then was said between teeth, almost as if by accident, and it tore apart Claude’s heart by the seer hurt the word bleed out.

“Sorry.”


	6. Secrets

The next day, the news that the Blue Lions house were going to be send to suppress a rebellion by Miklan Gautier, disinherited son of House Gautier of the Kingdom. When Dorothea learns about this, she searches for Sylvain, wondering how he is taking it. If someone had told her a month ago that she would come to see someone as Sylvain as a friend, she would have laughed at their face and offered to buy them a drink for the laughs. But her classes with him, seeing him sincerely trying to learn while pinning on Felix all the while had brought Dorothea some sympathy for the guy. That she could perfectly understand how harsh pinning from her current situation had nothing to do with it.

She walked to the Knight’s Hall, where she found Sylvain hunched forward on a bench in front of the fire, looking at the flames intently. He looked so serious without that smile that, though fake, was permanently stapled to his face. But he wasn’t alone.

“I won’t force you to come to this mission Sylvain.” Assured Professor Byleth, who looked blankly at Sylvain even though her words conveyed her worry. “It’s perfectly normal if you don’t want to come. He is your brother after all.”

“That’s were you are wrong Teach. He was.” Replied Sylvain, a bitter half-smile plastered to his face. “He was disowned by my father a long time ago. Don’t get me wrong, he totally deserved it. But he is no brother of mine, nor he was at any moment really.”

“Whoa, people from Faerghus are really intense, don’t you think?”

Dorothea almost jumped out of her skin, her hands shining with sparks to fend of the person that had just materialized from thin air behind her. It was Claude, who, for his collected demeanor, seemed to completely expect that reaction from her, raising his hands in a gesture of surrender.

“Don’t disintegrate me please. You would take that opportunity out of Lysithea and I don’t think she would be happy with that.”

Dorothea grabbed him by his cape and dragged him towards the gardens immediately to not bring more attention to themselves. She wanted to give Sylvain all the privacy she could right now.

Once they arrived, she pushed Claude towards a table with two chairs and stared at him until he sat down. Once she did the same, she spoke.

“What were you doing spying on their conversation Claude?”

“The same as you Dorothea, checking on old pal Sylvain and see what’s going on for myself.”

“I didn’t know you were friends with Sylvain.” Actually, she can’t remember those two holding even a conversation of more that two minutes.

“What better moment to reach out to someone than in their moment of need?”

“What worse moment you mean right? You can’t believe the hunt of his brother is the perfect moment to approach someone! I though you were smart.”

“Aw, such compliments, you’ll make me blush.” Shameless as he was, Claude wasn’t the type of person who deliberately hurt people, so Dorothea waited for his explanation. “Okay, look, I know I’m not close to the guy. But I want to change that. There’s something I want to ask him regarding his brother.”

“What is exactly what you want to ask him that can’t wait for another moment?”

“I want to know the real reason behind his brother’s behaviour and the reason he was vanished from Gautier.”

That only confused Dorothea more, but she began thinking about the conversation they just overheard from Sylvain and the Professor. _He is no brother of mine_. Those weren’t words one said lightly, even among nobility, where familiar ties weren’t always healthy. There was a grudge there, hate. If she really looked at Sylvain, maybe fear.

“Why do you want to know that?” She asked curious. Claude, who caught that, smiled, sly.

“Because, if my theory is correct, the story behind that could be a very good example of everything that is wrong with Fodlan.”

That last statement was what definitely caught Dorothea’s attention.

“Well, if you’re so sure, I will go with you, I may know were to get some information on that. But on one condition: you are not interrogating Sylvain about this.”

Claude smiled at this and agreed. They then got up and moved to the training grounds, where Dorothea was pretty certain she would find a certain blonde.

“Ingrid!” She shouted to the other girl, who was engaged in a match against Felix. She turned and smiled at Dorothea and Claude before turning to leave her weapon and walked towards them.

When Dorothea arrived at the monastery, she had taken an interest in Ingrid, even wondered about courting her. But her blatant refusal of anything romantic had made her drop her intentions, respecting her boundaries and instead aiming to create a good relationship with the knight.

“Dorothea! I’m so glad to see you. And Claude too. Have you come to train? I think I can count with the fingers of one hand the times I’ve seen you train here Dorothea.”

She took no offense in it. Her magic was better practiced in more calm environments at it’s earlier stages, only going to the training grounds to practice aim when she was certain she would succeed.

“No, we came for other matters. It’s regarding Sylvain.”

She caught at the corner of her eye as Felix’s ears perked at the mention of the redhead’s name. She turned slightly to Claude and, for the smirk forming on his lips, he had caught it too. But meanwhile, Ingrid was turning serious.

“If he has done something to offend you Dorothea, I’m really sorry. I can offer you to beat some sense into him if you like. The stuff with his brother must have shaken him up.”

“Oh no, Ingrid, don’t worry, it’s nothing of the short. In fact, he has been a perfect gentleman when we are together, no need to worry. Perfect indeed.” Felix stiffened at her words. Subtle. “But we really came here to talk about another thing.”

“We were wondering,” continued Claude, his eyes shining in curiosity. “if any of you know the reason why Miklan was disowned. He was the oldest son of House Gautier, it doesn’t make much sense from an outsider’s eyes that he was disinherited so abruptly.” Ingrid seemed visibly uncomfortable with the question.

“Well…”

“I don’t think you should be asking third people about those things.” Cut in Felix bluntly. His intervention seemed to help Ingrid’s discomfort in some way but his glare didn’t help calm the situation.

“We believed that it wouldn’t be good to confront Sylvain about this during such a time.” Answered Dorothea calmly.

“Maybe he hasn’t told you because you are not that friendly with each other.” Replied back Felix, seemingly directing all his anger towards her. Oh, that boy was in for a fight.

“No need for the aggressiveness Felix.” She carefully dropped all the sweetness she could on her voice, making sure her anger didn’t boil over. “We are just asking out of curiosity, he is our friend. We thought knowing more about the situation would help us know how to approach the issue with Sylvain. He doesn’t seem to be in the best state, we just wondered why it was so hard for him.”

“Besides,” added Claude, trying to take Felix out of all out fighting them out of the training grounds. “Sylvain doesn’t strike me as the kind of person that deals well with things by bottling them inside. We though we wanted to help however we can.”

Sometimes Dorothea really wondered if everything that came out of Claude’s mouth were lies. He seemed so comfortable with them, in a way that didn’t imply anything good. But a thought sparked in Dorothea at those last words. Did Claude think that Sylvain was like that because he was that way?

Felix seemed to calm down at the idea of helping Sylvain and Ingrid, now out of her blank state after Felix’s intervention, took a step forward.

“I appreciate that you are trying to help Sylvain. The Goddess knows that he needs more people worrying about him. Felix and I can’t do all that work.”

“What about Prince Dimitri?” asked Claude out of nowhere. It seemed to blurt out of him, and, after the question, everyone seemed surprised it had been asked, most of all Claude himself.

“Well, Dimitri’s situation is…complicated.” Answered Ingrid.

“The Boar knows, but he doesn’t do anything.” Added Felix, his tone harsh.

Claude turned quiet, looking at the two childhood friends in front of them alternatively, as if trying to find the pieces of a particularly difficult puzzle.

“Anyways,” continued Ingrid. “I’m happy for your concern. But I don’t think it’s a good idea to say things about Sylvain’s past without his direct consent. And, right now, I don’t think it’s a good idea. But thank you for worrying.”

With that, they gave their goodbyes to an apologetic Ingrid and a still grumpy Felix and left the training grounds in silence. Claude, unusually serious, didn’t say a word until they arrived to the pond, where he turned to Dorothea with his green eyes shining with something she couldn’t identify.

“What the hell is up with those four?” He said it as if, the more he thought about it, the more the need to know grew inside him, eating him alive.

“No idea, people from Faerghus are…strange. If this was an opera, their hearts would be as cold as a Faerghus winter, but it seems that that can’t be further from the truth. Specially that Felix guy, he blows up just like that.”

Claude smiled tiredly, but Dorothea could tell that he was still wondering. She had meet curious people, hell, Petra was one of the most curious people she knows and she spends every moment she can next to her. But Claude’s passion for secrets was another thing.

“You know,” her voice brought a part of his mind back. “For someone as fond of learning everything about other people’s secrets, you have a few of your own.”

He directed a smirk towards her, one that, for a moment, made her doubt the words she just threw at him. But then he spoke.

“Imagine how easy it would be to move around a new environment if you knew the secrets everyone seems to hide so desperately. Wouldn’t you seek that knowledge then?”

For a moment, she was taken aback by the sincere feeling in his voice when a shadow appeared behind them.

“Claude, are you nagging another person about your schemes? Not everybody aims to know everything about everyone, you know?”

The voice came from Hilda, who stood behind them with her hands on her hips and with an aura that made Dorothea wonder if she came to embarrass Claude or to cut the conversation before it reached a point of no-return.

To be honest, Dorothea had always wanted to chat with Hilda. She felt like they could really have some interesting conversations, and it seemed like she had every person in the monastery wrapped around her finger, and that was a quality Dorothea respected. But, when she saw her around her Golden Deer, Dorothea felt like it may not be quite like that. She seemed to know when something was up with any of them, with Lorenz talking during their fire practice about how Hilda had noticed he had trouble sleeping, or he wasn’t having a good day, or things of the sort no matter how well he tried to hide it. He even commented how she was the only one who was able to call on Claude when he was lying, and that statement had stuck with Dorothea somehow, because there were two options there: either Claude was crazy close with the pink-haired girl, which Dorothea doubted, not because they weren’t close, but because Claude didn’t seem like the type to get close to people after a few months, or Hilda was crazy perceptive and she hid that fact from other people deliberatively.

“Hey Hilda, want to join in the fun?” responded Claude, unfazed by her sudden appearance.

“Nah, I think I’ll pass. Actually, I was looking for you Claude. Can you do me a favour? It’s nothing big, I promise.”

“Yes, like the time I had to talk that suitor down when you left him doing your chores right? The guy was giving me the stink eye for two weeks and I hadn’t even done anything!”

“Claude! I already apologized for that! When are you going to forgive me?” Her pout was showing them, trying to guilt Claude to come with her and Dorothea got the idea. It was already late and Dorothea caught the opportunity.

“Well, I think it’s time to get some sleep. See you later Claude, Hilda.”

“Wait, Dorothea!” Claude chased her down for a moment. “Thank you for helping me today. I lead you around for a while, I’m sorry for that. I know maybe you don’t care very much, with all the “make sure Claude isn’t an insensitive jerk” and all that but, if I learn something about this whole mess, I will tell you about it. It’s the least I can do.”

He seemed really honest there, which took Dorothea aback for a moment, but it was that honesty that brought a smile to her face. She may be growing a bit fond of him. A bit.

“You know Claude?” she said. “I think you don’t realize how…pulling your way of seeing things is. I had a nice afternoon, so thank you.”

And with that she left a very stiff Claude with a giggling Hilda, who smiled at Dorothea with what she thought was a grateful light in her eyes.

* * *

Instead of walking towards her room, Dorothea walk towards the dining hall to avoid walking on Claude and Hilda at the pond on her way to the market place. At night there was an special sale on certain magic objects she was slightly interested in, so she walked towards the shop. She didn’t expect to walk into a pair of legs that seemed to appear out of nowhere on the floor, which almost made her loose her balance and fall to the pavement. But her face turned from anger to pity when she realized who it was.

Sylvain, drunk as hell, was sitting on the ground and looking at his hands as if they held the secrets of the universe. His hair was a mess, with mud on a part of it that seemed to have been thrown at him as a part of his face on the other side was also splattered with it. He looked so miserable that for a moment Dorothea was at a lost at what to do. She had had to deal with her fair share of drunks during her time in the opera (Manuela could be especially terrible if she had a particularly bad day), but she doesn’t know if she is close enough to Sylvain to be able to deal with the situation well on her own or if she should call for Ingrid or someone. Unfortunately, Sylvain chose that moment to raise his eyes upwards and he looked eyes with her. For a moment, he didn’t seem to recognise her (how much had he drunk?) but when he did a big, goofy smile spread across his face, seemingly taking 5 years off him.

“Dorothea! I’m soooo glad to see youuuu.” Okay, he was very drunk. She couldn’t leave him here. “Come with me, let’s drink!”

He moved to stand but it took him a few seconds to be balanced enough to stand so Dorothea didn’t think he would be going to far without her help.

“Sylvain, what happened to you?” She asked, linking their arms together to bring him some semblance of support.

“Nothing, just went to meet some people at the bar. It was nice, there were lots of people, lots of music. I had fun!”

Dorothea had lead a life in which she was familiar with those kinds of parties, with the people from the opera going to celebrate a job well done at a bar in Enbarr, or she snuck out to she if she could find someone interesting to keep her company when she was bored. That’s why she recognized when Sylvain had stepped into that bar he was not looking to have fun, but to not be alone. And that, that she could help him with right now.

“Come on Sylvain, let’s get you out of here.”

She half dragged him, half pushed him out of the market towards the dorms. She was glad to find that Claude and Hilda had left the pond, so she could lead Sylvain to the second floor of the dormitories without taking a detour. But she didn’t count a drunk Sylvain in her plans.

As soon as he saw the pond, he dropped Dorothea’s arm and dragged himself to the pier, sitting at the border and staring at the water intently. He seemed hypnotized, and that didn’t bring a good feeling to Dorothea’s stomach, so she sat next to him, making sure he was okay (or as okay as he could be).

“I was once thrown in a well you know.” He said nonchalantly.

Dorothea’s head turned fast, her eyes as big as saucers at the statement she just heard. It wasn’t something you typically said so…calmly. At least not to someone you didn’t have a relationship past classmates. At her silence, Sylvain continued.

“It was after the Tragedy of Duscur. You know about that one right?” She nodded, and his smile turned a bit sour, a bit sad. “I was in Gautier Manor, walking around the grounds during winter. It’s really cold up there but, sometimes, the snow turned everything so pretty that I couldn’t help but walk around the grounds. That day Felix was coming to the Manor because his father had some business there and he wanted him to be there to teach him the ropes of something. As if Felix would come even close to a diplomatic meeting between both our parents.” He laughed at that thought, painful and nostalgic. Dorothea had the distinct feeling that this story was not directed towards her, but she couldn’t move, could barely breath, not wanting to disturb the apparent peace that the memory brought to Sylvain’s heart.

“I was sitting by the well, waiting. I didn’t want to wait inside the manor, didn’t want to have another minute with my father and his marriage meetings.” At the mention of his father, such hatred came out of Sylvain’s voice that Dorothea felt the urge to move further from him. “I was just sitting there. I wasn’t doing anything. That’s when Miklan came.” Fear came in now, fear as powerful as if he was reliving the moment that instant. “He tried to taunt me, he insulted me, brought up the thing with my crest. “Do you really think you are that special?” he said. “Do you really think anyone would miss you?” he said.” Sylvain paused for a moment to gather his breath, which had been coming in short intakes the last sentences. Dorothea was already expecting what was coming next, but it still caught her like a punch to the stomach.

“When I wanted to do something I was already falling. I remember feeling like the fall was eternal and then, the cold. The water was freezing. As soon as it touched me it chilled me to the bone. I tried shouting, yelling for Miklan to come back, that I was sorry, that I would just disappear if he wanted to, but he was gone. I don’t really know how long I was down there. I just remember that at some point I had stopped shouting because I was trembling too much from the cold to produce much sound. But then, I heard a voice. It was calling for me, but I could barely make a sound to answer. Then I saw it. Felix.” His voice grew so found at the mention of his childhood friend that Dorothea felt her heart clutch for him. “He saw me in the well. He cried my name and run to get the people from the manor to get me out. I had hypothermia and couldn’t leave my bed for a week because I was too weak. Felix stayed with me the whole time, alternating between telling me how stupid I was to let Miklan push me and cursing Miklan with every fiber of his being. No one else came into the room except for the maids. Only Felix and me. When I was well enough to move around, my brother was already gone. My father had banished him because he had tried to kill his precious crest-child, and that went over the previous abuse.”

He grew quiet now, seemingly realizing where he was and who he was talking to. But he was calm. Even though he was retelling such horrible things, how his brother tried to kill him, his father didn’t care for him, he seemed so…resigned. Almost like he thought he deserved it. And she wasn’t leaving that that way.

“Thank you Sylvain. For trusting me with this. It couldn’t have been easy.”

“You are a good person Dorothea.” He replied, half-smiling. “I needed to take that off my chest. And I know I can trust you with it.”

“You are a good person too Sylvain.” She said, because she thought he needed to know, because she didn’t know if someone had ever told him that. She didn’t know if he believed her, but she would repeat it until he was sick of it if it made him realize.

“Thank you Dorothea.” Then he smiled, really smiled, full of doubts and sadness, but a smile nonetheless.

They both moved to towards the dormitory, Sylvain still a little unsteady on his feet, when Dorothea remembered the lamentable state he was in.

“You need to take a bath before sleeping. You are filthy.”

“Oh you know me Dorothea, I’m a dirty kind of guy.”

She wanted to hit him for that, but she just shook her head and dragged him towards the baths, dropping him there.

“Aren’t you going to come in with me?” He asked, turning his eyes around her body in a way that made her roll her eyes. The only reason she didn’t slap him was because she knew he was just scared to be alone with his thoughts. And now she knew what to do to help with that.

“I’m leaving you here. Wash up and I’ll bring you to your room.”

Once he turned, she walked towards the second floor of the dormitories. She knew exactly who she needed to talk to that could help Sylvain at the moment.


	7. Friends

Oh man. Oooooooh man. He didn’t expect the day to take this turn.

When he woke up that day and heard the news about Miklan, he felt as if he was back at Gautier Manor, his brother’s shadow looming behind him and him only wishing to get out to see his friends again.

Dimitri approached him, asking him how he felt and if he needed something. He felt the anger he saw in Felix everyday when facing Dimitri rising. He didn’t approach him like a friend would, not even like a classmate like Dedue, with whom, though close, they weren’t exactly friends, but still had offered to take over some of his chores if he didn’t feel up to them. Annette and Mercedes had offered him their shoulders if he needed to let everything go, and even Ashe had approached him with a kind smile and tried reassuring him, telling him the things they all had said to him two months prior and he didn’t hear but with the confidence of someone who knew those were genuinely good ideas.

But Dimitri was, as he had been since a long time ago, dethatched. He approached him as a house leader, as the future king he would one day serve. But not as his friend. Not as the person who, with more seriousness than a twelve year-old ought to have, had threatened to punch Miklan if he mistreated Sylvain again. He knew they all lost Dimitri a long time ago, but, in moments like this, it stung like a fresh wound.

Ingrid, as always, saw right through the façade he put to the rest of the Blue Lions. She told him saw, blunt as only she could be. But she didn’t leave his side until she made sure he was slightly more put together, when she left to the training grounds for a while.

Felix, as always, was another thing. He was quiet, too quiet. Normally he would say something insensitive that would enrage Ingrid and give Sylvain a good laugh, or push him towards the training grounds to make him train until his only thoughts were to fall onto his bed as fast as possible.

But he didn’t really say a word, only looked at him with a look that Sylvain couldn’t interpret for the live of him.

It was eating him alive, all this mystery in Felix’s eyes, when he saw him approach him, his step sure and steady.

“We will do this.” He said, his voice a murmur but his determination shining in every word.

Sylvain didn’t really know what to say to that, but he didn’t have time to reply for Felix was already walking away as if nothing had happened. Sylvain thought about chasing him, ask about that sentence that seemed so cold yet so furious. But he just wasn’t in his right mind to chase Felix down today.

It reached a point at which even Edelgard caught him.

“Sylvain, can I speak to you? I hope it’s not a bad time.”

“No worries Princess.” He replied, trying to sound calm as usual. He didn’t know if she bought it. “I’m all yours.”

“It’s about that chess game I told you about. Given the current state of affairs, I think it may not be a good idea to have it tomorrow.” The sudden considerate gesture surprised him, but when he moved to reply she continued. “I’ve decided that, whenever you are feeling up to it, you can approach me and we will organise it. Please, take your time. Family matters can be…difficult to deal with.”

Somehow, she seemed to talk from experience, which was as close as Sylvain had ever felt to knowing something personal about the Imperial Princess. His first instinct was to brush her worries off, return to his normal self, act natural. But he realized he didn’t want to act. Not to her, who had shown him kindness and consideration when they were little more than classmates.

“I will rather like that Princess. Thanks.” He tried to smile, to truly convey he was grateful.

He didn’t know if he got it because she nodded and moved out of the corridor. Sylvain exhaled. Everyone was surprising him today.

And surprises kept coming when Teach came looking for him, asking him if he was okay. He kind of lost it for a minute there he thinks, revealed too much. He still held a bit of a grudge against Byleth. How she could live so freely for so long. But, oddly, he felt a bit better after speaking to her. Lighter. Then Dimitri came again.

“Sylvain, how is everything going?”

So normal. So calm. So kind. He felt his stomach curl, his thoughts turn darker. But he still remembered that sweet child that cried when his friends fought. He remembered how he shouted at Ingrid when she had insisted on climbing the wall of the Palace’s garden back in Fhirdiad and had to be send to the nurse to have her arm mended after she fell, right on top of Dimitri, who had tried to catch her. Sylvain refused to believe that his friend was completely gone, even though his thoughts and Felix insisted on telling him otherwise.

“Well enough Your Highness. Not terrible even.” He tried to sound calm and he thought he failed miserably but Dimitri didn’t seem to notice. That didn’t make things better.

“I know you may not like to hear this from me. I know I have not been a good friend to any of you in the past.” He paused, seemingly pushing himself to talk about this. “I know what it feels like, when you loose someone. To be the cause of their deaths.” He didn’t seem to notice the implications of his sentence, so centered in trying to help, which turned all dark thoughts inside Sylvain to dust. What was that he just heard? “It can be difficult, but you will be able to pull through it, I know it.”

He smiled at Sylvain carefully, his face a composition of sorrow, kindness and sincerity. Sylvain knew right there that everything Dimitri said, he had felt it true.

“Your Highness?” He started, carefully. The title seemed to sting Dimitri a bit, it always seemed to do even with his best efforts to hide it. He really wasn’t good at hiding his secrets. “What do you mean responsible? You are not responsible of any deaths.”

The smile Dimitri wore turned colder then, so cold a shiver travelled through Sylvain’s spine.

“Let’s not dwell on the past Sylvain. I hope we can get over this situation as soon as possible so that you suffering will not be long.”

He then turned to leave, his face now completely closed off to for anyone to see. Panic travelled through Sylvain’s veins.

“Wait, Dimitri!”

He didn’t stop, he continued off without looking back a single second, leaving Sylvain watching him leave and feeling a sense of horror overcome him. How long had Dimitri thought that? Had he ever told anyone? When was the last time he approached someone with the deep sorrow inside his heart to be questioned?

Sylvain felt like he may have committed a mistake he could not take back. He felt the urge to search for Dimitri, make sure how he was. So he did.

He had covered a huge stretch, reaching the Blue Lion’s class. Sylvain was going to run to him when Dedue emerged from the classroom, his presence seemingly evaporating the tense lines on Dimitri’s back. And that’s when he felt, acutely, how alone he felt.

The rest was a blur. He remembered entering a bar and ordering the first thing that crossed his mind. He remembered talking to strangers, hearing their stories, wondering if he should approach the pretty girl who was seating with her friends at the back. He got up, and he noticed that his vision was blurry and he wasn’t very stable on his feet so he decided to leave.

When leaving, he crashed against a group of strangers moving in the opposite direction. Before he could apologize they started shouting. He felt exhausted to the bone, so he turned to leave. He noticed they threw mud at him, but he couldn’t find the strength to care. He just wanted to sleep.

When he opened his eyes, he found Dorothea’s green eyes looking at him with so much concern he felt at the verge of tears for a second. She hoisted him up with surprising strength and carried him back, holding him by his arm so he wouldn’t drop to the ground again.

He remembered talking to her. About the well. About Miklan. About Felix, because it always came back to him, didn’t it? He remembered her words. _You are a good person too_ she had said. A good person. Oh, how he wanted to believe it. How good it felt to feel considered, to feel acknowledged. After their conversation, unexpectedly, he felt like he could breath a little better.

He entered the bath (Dorothea was right, he really was filthy) and, when he walked out, he found an unexpected voice coming from outside.

“You should have called me.”

Ingrid was seating by the entrance of the bathhouse, her hair done in a hurry and her uniform missing several parts. She had come running. Dorothea must have called her. He couldn’t tell if he should thank or curse her for that.

“I’m fine Ingrid, don’t…”

“Don’t you dare tell me not to worry!” She exclaimed, in one of her weird outbursts of emotion. “You are my friend, one of the oldest mind you. I’ve always been with you, you’ve helped me get through some of the toughest periods of my life.” A few stray tears broke free from Ingrid’s eyes and held a tight grip on Sylvain’s heart. “Don’t tell me not to worry Sylvain, because it is not your decision to make. I don’t want to see you suffering when I can do anything to help.”

He inclined his head, ashamed of himself. He really didn’t know what overcame him to get drunk like that when he knew he wasn’t in the mental state for it to be good in any way. He knew from experience.

He moved his hand carefully, giving Ingrid ample time to pull back, and held her hand in a soft grip, making sure she could leave at any given point.

“I just…didn’t know if…didn’t know if I could talk to you. Or anyone really.”

He said it softly, trusting her to know this but not trusting himself not to break if he saw even a smidge of agreement in Ingrid’s eyes. He didn’t think he could handle that.

“Let’s go.”

She suddenly gripped his hand with the strength of someone who really took her training duties seriously.

“Are you taking me to your room? How sneaky of you Ingrid.” He joked, but he put no real effort into it.

She stopped and turned to face him, her eyes worried and shining with unshed tears. His heart broke a little.

“How about we have a sleep over, like old times? We can call Felix over.”

At the name Felix, Sylvain’s first instinct was to say no. His brain definitely screamed no. But the alcohol was not completely out of his system, because he answered with something he never expected to say.

“Yes, that would be…nice. But, can we try something?”

She nodded, in a rare state of seemingly accepting Sylvain’s whims.

“Can we ask Dimitri too?” She turned serious then, knowing the implications of that statement. “Yes, I know, hear me out. I had…a conversation with him today.” He contemplated telling Ingrid about it but he remembered Dimitri’s face, how tense he was as he said it, and decided to stay quiet. “I know Felix won’t like it, but I also know you are the only one who didn’t really give up on him. Let me deal with Felix, I’ll think of something, but please, can we try?”

She was uncomfortable, as expected, but she didn’t directly oppose the idea, which was a good start. The idea had entered Sylvain’s brain, and maybe it was the alcohol talking, or maybe his conversation with him had really rattled him to the bone, but he really wanted to fake that they were the same four friends they were so long ago. Just for a night.

They knocked of Felix’s door. It was fairly late, but not so late for them to think he was definitely sleeping. But they had to knock several times and wait a bit for the door to open to a very grumpy and very half asleep Felix, who wasn’t happy to be woken up.

“What do you guys want?”

Sylvain could say he wasn’t affected by Felix’s bedhead, which was all over the place without the ponytail falling in messily and framing his face, making his eyes somehow brighter. But, as previously stated, he would be lying miserably if he even tried. He genuinely lost his voice and Ingrid had to fill in his place the explanation, not before Felix directed him with a weird look.

“Felix, I’m sorry to disturb you. We wanted to have a little sleep over, you know, spend the night together, as before. Care to join?”

Sylvain could see how the negative was forming in Felix’s brain. But, apparently, he saw something in Ingrid’s eyes that made that negative fly away immediately.

“Okay, fine. But tomorrow” He turned to Sylvain now. “I want you to join me for training. As compensation.”

Sylvain knew when he could try to negotiate an exit and when he should leave an issue immediately. And, in his foggy state of mind, getting to spend extra time with Felix was a definite plus.

Felix moved out of his room and towards Sylvain’s door, when he saw the others stop before Dimitri’s door.

“No.” He said, bluntly as always. “We are not calling the Boar.”

Sylvain remembered how to speak then (fortunately) and moved to talk to Felix, who looked like he had no intention of backing down from his statement.

“Felix, please. I know things are difficult with Dimitri.” Felix’s eye twitched at the name, but Sylvain moved on even when that gesture hurt him more than expected. “But he talked to me today. He was honest, he tried to help, and if I wasn’t an idiot he may have done it. Please. I’ll owe you one”

Felix seemed conflicted. He examined Sylvain’s eyes, searching for any evidence of doubt he could grab on to. Sylvain felt the urge to get lost in Felix’s eyes but he composed himself and tried to project as much confidence as he could in his muddied uniform and muddier brain.

Felix sighed defeated, which prompted a smile both in Ingrid and Sylvain’s faces.

They knocked on Dimitri’s door and were surprised of how fast he answered. Sylvain was a little startled, but he composed himself enough to take the word.

“Hey Dimitri.” He emphasized on the name, seeing the other’s bright blue eyes blow wide, surprised. “We were thinking about having a sleep over the four of us. Would you like to join?”

Dimitri, at that moment, turned from happy to extremely uncomfortable. He fidgeted on the door for a moment, seemingly wondering what to do when something unexpected happened.

“Well, that would be bad, because he kind of has a previous arrangement right now.”

From the room emerged Claude von Riegan, dressed in his uniform and playing with a chess piece between his fingers. Sylvain felt his jaw drop right then, from Claude’s teasing smile to Dimitri’s bright red face, and he could tell that his two other friends were having a similar reaction, if the scoff and the muffled laugh he heard behind him were anything to go by.

“It’s not what you think!” Exclaimed Dimitri, who was turning more red every passing second.

“And what do we think it is Dimitri?” Asked Sylvain, trying to contain the full weight of the teasing in his voice. Dimitri put his face on his hands, unable to face them properly, and, for a moment, Sylvain can’t remember why he was so sad today.

“Please, stop torturing the poor thing.” Claude intervened with the suave attitude that was characteristic of him. Seriously, what was going on? “I’m just teaching him some chess moves, nothing more. Though I wouldn’t really oppose to it.”

Dimitri positively died there and Ingrid and Sylvain almost fell to the floor laughing. The only two people who seemed to not take any amusement in the situation were Dimitri and Felix, who remained serious and looked at Claude with a suspicious look.

Once he composed himself, Dimitri took the conversation back to its origin.

“I’m sorry, I can’t go right now.” He seemed genuinely sad he couldn’t come, which relaxed Sylvain significantly. “But I would love to come next time. Thank you for thinking of including me.”

That last statement, though said with perfect honesty and gratefulness, stung Sylvain’s heart a bit. Dimitri was very aware of the drift separating him from his former childhood friends, but the guilt Sylvain was feeling at the moment was relatively new and soured the moment a bit. Claude seemed to catch onto this somehow, because he took the reigns of the conversation then.

“Well, you can always rain check, right? This won’t be the last time you see each other or anything. And, now that everything is settled, let’s go.”

He pulled Dimitri inside, who was waving awkwardly at them, and closed the door gently, careful to bid farewell too.

The three of them stayed frozen in front of the door for a second, confused at what just happened. Ingrid was the first to seemingly wake from her stupor and pushed the other two boys towards Sylvain’s room, which was the next one as well as the furthest one on the corridor.

Once they got inside and took their seats, Ingrid on the bed, Felix against the wall and Sylvain on the chair, they found their words.

“What the fuck did just happen?” Asked Felix, unleashing more laughs in the other two.

“I know right? I didn’t expect Claude to be able to get close to His Highness so quickly.” Responded Ingrid, her smile still in place.

“Wait, you knew he wanted to get close to him? How? Tell me everything!”

That made the other two pause, which worried Sylvain slightly.

“Today,” started Ingrid, unsure. “Dorothea and Claude came to ask us things about Miklan.”

Sylvain turned cold and the mention of that name, his previous mirth evaporating and seemingly turning the room colder. Seeing this, Ingrid stopped, but Felix continued for her.

“We didn’t say anything. You didn’t tell them, we weren’t going to. But Riegan seemed interested in the Boar, he was kind of insistent on that.”

Mixed feelings fought inside Sylvain’s heart. One part of him didn’t like that those two had gone behind his back to learn about something so personal without asking him first. The other part was so grateful that they were thinking of him. That they’ve seen something wasn’t right and decided they wanted to know what. Then he remembered his conversation with Dorothea, and that last feeling definitely won out.

“I don’t know what Riegan’s intentions were.” Continued Felix, seeing that Sylvain hadn’t said a word. “But at least Dorothea seemed genuinely worried about it.”

That warmed his heart. The fact that he could count on her now brought him a sense of tranquility he hadn’t felt in a while, which he was thankful for.

“Dorothea…she is a good person.” Ingrid smile at that, while Felix remained serious, looking at him intensely. “She picked me up today. I was…kind of bad. We talked. She is a good listener.” He inspired, trying to calm his nerves. “It was…a rough day. But, when we talked, it seemed like I took a heavy weight off my chest.”

He hadn’t spoken so honestly with his two best friends in a very long time. Maybe too long. It felt good. Maybe he should do it more often.

Felix looked at him with a side grin and he remembered why honesty may not always be the best option in his situation.

“Good to see you are getting your shit together. It was pathetic seeing you dragging yourself around all day.”

“You were the most worried of all, you liar!” exclaimed Ingrid. “You almost fought Dorothea when you didn’t know if you could trust her and she and Claude had to calm you down for you not to throw them out of the training grounds.”

The thought of Felix doing something like that for him brought a smile to his face that he didn’t think he would be able to erase in the near future.

“Aw, Felix, I didn’t know you defended my honor so fervently.”

Felix scowled, Ingrid laughed, and the evening continued between taunts and laughter until Ingrid had fallen asleep seating on Sylvain was nodding off with his head on her thighs while Felix was on the floor, silent. Sylvain’s foggy sleepy brain didn’t like that image, so it said something stupid without Sylvain’s consent.

“Hey Felix, come here.” That prompted him to get up to look at him. “The floor is cold. Come sleep here.”

Felix’s eyebrows rose impossibly high at that.

“There’s no space for three people in that bed you idiot. You already occupy half the space.”

“You can sleep on my shoulder. It will be warmer.”

Sylvain was starting to panic because his brain was taking decisions that he didn’t know if his heart was ready to handle. But Felix looked at him intensely, his eyes narrowed. Maybe it was the late hour, or how awful the day had been, or maybe it all was an illusion, but Felix’s next words were:

“If you kick me I’ll kill you.” And proceeded to crawl on the bed to position himself on Sylvain’s shoulder, curling himself towards him like a cat against the fire.

Sylvain’s heart was beating frantically, not really believing his eyes. But he was so tired. It really had been an intense day. So he let his soul relax, pulling Felix slightly closer and promptly falling asleep surrounded by his best friends.


	8. Scheming

Dorothea left them then, with a still stunned Claude looking at the place she had just occupied. No one had ever praised him like that. Sure, they thought he was smart, that he could be cunning, even talented that one time (Ignatz had blurted that out so fast when seeing him with a bow that Claude almost sent an arrow to Raphael, who sparring Caspar a bit far in front of them). But pulling was new. Pulling sounded…good. He felt like his ideas were a bit more real if he really was the way Dorothea had described him. He felt…somehow acknowledged.

“Well Claude, care to tell be why I had to save you from spilling your life’s worth of secrets to Dorothea just now? You know, as I just helped you and all.”

He suddenly remembered the double-edged sword that was his friendship with Hilda. He knew she could save his ass without a moment of hesitation. But he owed her for some of those saves. And his debt seemed to be pilling up.

“We were just wondering how those northerners are so secretive with their things.” Hilda’s ears perked at that, interested. “But we reached 0 conclusions. They’re as closed up as Fodlan’s Throat.” _Yet_ , he thought to himself. He wasn’t about to say something like that to the daughter of Count Goneril.

“Oh, I can’t talk about people from Faerghus, my closest interaction has been with Sylvain and I’ve got the impression he doesn’t have a single true expression in his face.” Same assessment Claude had reached, though more bluntly put. “But oh I can talk about closed off people.”

That got Claude curious. He genuinely thought that Hilda was the kind of person that could crack the hardest shells, her carefree charm making people relax around her. Hell, she even got him to be more honest with the Deers (when he wasn’t pulling pranks on Lorenz, that was sacred). At his expression, Hilda exhaled sharply, defeated.

“Can’t believe I wanted to hear something from you and I’m going to tell you something mine. Anyways…” She paused, seemingly ordering her thoughts. She was so serious Claude began to feel scared about what she was going to say. “I’ve been trying to get close to Marianne for the past month. And it’s driving me insane.”

Claude blinked for a moment.

“What?”

Hilda definitely wanted to kill him (he could tell).

“Claude, dear,” She put her hand on his shoulder and looked straight into his eyes. “you are one of the smartest people I know. But damn you can be oblivious.”

Things were starting to come together in Claude’s mess of a brain. Hilda and Marianne talking, them always being together, Hilda sighing whenever Marianne didn’t pay attention to her, to busy with Dorte. The fact that Hilda spent even a second at the stables! Oh, he felt dumb.

“Okay, I’m an idiot, don’t know how I didn’t get it.”

“Yes you are.” She answered, generally content with anything with which to poke fun of Claude. She turned slightly serious again. “I’ve been trying to get close to her since forever, talking to her, walking around together. I even did her chores once Claude. I did! I’ve never done even my own chores voluntarily but I just saw how she was doing it and I just moved on my own.”

Getting over the laugh that came out of him at the thought of Hilda being so hung up on someone to do their chores took a while. More than Hilda liked definitely.

“Don’t you dare laugh at me Claude! You will regret it if you ever find someone to be with. I’m going to roast you so bad.”

But that thought stopped him. Claude thought about it. Love. Now that he thought about it, he never really considered it properly. I mean, he had kissed people, but the last year had been so full of intrigue, new mysteries, a threat to his life at every turn. He was very much distracted from all of that. With good reason, he actually intended to keep it that way. But still.

Hilda immediately caught the change of thought in Claude. And, as the good friend she was, she took him by the arm and dragged him away from the pond and towards a bench nearby.

“I like Marianne.” Confessed Hilda, in a display of brutal honesty. “Everyday I like her a bit more. I’m even working on something for her but, whenever I think I’ve got an idea, I scratch it out as not good enough a change everything.” She looked at Claude, the look in her eyes a bit scared, something Hilda didn’t often display. “I really don’t want to screw up.”

A while ago, the idea of someone he considered a friend asking for his advice would have been insane to think about. A friend he could give his honest opinion to would have been the last thing in his list of impossible dreams because of how impossible he felt it was. But this is not a while ago. Right now, he has Hilda, someone he considered if not his best surely his first friend in the monastery, and she was scared. And Claude didn’t want to screw up what he wanted to say. He didn’t even know if it was that good advice, but Hilda needed him, and he was starting to think that he would risk anything to help her (dangerous a thought as that one was).

“Hilda, you are one of the most thoughtful people in the monastery.” He started. “You are determined, perceptive and funny. And you are hot as hell.” That startled a laugh out of her, who was looking at him as if she couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Guess he needed to convince her harder. “And Marianne, behind all her self-isolation tendencies, is one of the sweetest, kindest persons I’ve got the pleasure of meeting. But, the best of all: she makes you do things.” They both laughed at that. They seemed to loosen up a bit after it. “Now, seriously. She is great. You should ask her out. I think you would complement each other pretty well.”

Hilda smiled at him before turning to stare at her linked hands on her legs.

“I don’t even know if she likes girls. What do I do if she doesn’t? What do I do it she hates me for it? What if…?”

“What if the Goddess decides she is bored and wipes up all of Fodlan right now?” She scowled at him but he continued. “We don’t know about what if’s, but I can assure you this: whatever happens, you can always come to me to drink wine and complain about everything.”

She smiled fondly at him, seemingly calmer than at the beginning of the conversation.

“Anyways, you cannot seriously think Marianne could hate you. That girl is too kind to even think about it.” He said, trying as best as he could to ease any worries left in her. He really wasn’t used to this “feelings” thing.

“Yes, I guess you are right. Thank you Claude, you really made me feel better.” She gripped his hand then, and Claude felt like he did something good. “Well, mopping time is over, time to go back to work in my present. At the very least I want to have it for the Alliance Foundation day. I’m sure she’ll love it.”

A part of him wanted to ask what she was planning, but, for some reason, he felt that it was a secret he wasn’t supposed to know right now. And he felt strangely okay with that fact.

They got up and parted ways then, Hilda towards her room and to her planning and Claude towards his second home in the monastery: the library.

When he entered, he saw Lindhart hunched over some book with some obscure writing that Claude wouldn’t even dare try to decipher. They sometimes exchanged impressions on certain books or recommended topics to one another, but, while Lindhart’s aim was definitely towards research and magic, Claude’s was centered around politics and history. Though a while back they discovered a shared interest in making their own potions and venoms, which seemed to surprise both of them. But outside of that, all their interactions occurred in the library, and were kept to “hello” and “goodbye” with the occasional “you are falling asleep and leaving your saliva on the book stop it”.

When he saw them, Claude knew better than to approach him in his concentration, but Lindhart seemed to notice and lifted his head, moving his head as a “hello” and moving on with his reading. He would laugh if he hadn’t done something similar the week prior.

He moved to the upper part, were most books on ancient history of Fodlan were, though he had found that section particularly lacking. There were bits and pieces that, in all his reading, didn’t make sense reading several authors, which made learning about the history of the continent really difficult for someone like Claude that never had the benefit of learning about it all his life from his family. Sure, his mother had tried to pass down the most characteristic tales of the Alliance, but even her stories were limited to the place she lived in, as well as scarce, as his mother had tried to separate herself as much as possible from her roots to fit into the hostile Almyran court.

Nevertheless, there were still countless books he could still check out, which gave him a new perspective on the way this continent had managed things from the beginning. The only thing that made him doubt was the little change that had happened since the beginning. And the only way it had been brought up: war.

But, to his surprise, he wasn’t alone in this confined area of the library.

Dimitri was checking a bookshelf containing the economics tomes, so absorbed in his examination that he hadn’t hear Claude getting close to him.

“What are you doing here Your Princeliness?”

Dimitri turned immediately, with his hand reaching for a dagger strapped to his hip before he recognised the voice that had talked.

“Claude! Please don’t ever do that again. I almost attacked you!”

Claude was too occupied calming his beating heart to pay attention to anything else. For a second, only for one second, Dimitri had every intent of killing him. The aura around him was completely different from the soft one he perceived right now. But, a moment ago, Claude was sure he was going to get killed. Meanwhile, Dimitri continued looking at him with a worried expression on his face.

“I-I’m sorry if I startled you, I didn’t mean to move like that. I get really jumpy whenever I’m alone, I’m sorry.”

At that Claude was able to calm his heart and untangle his tongue.

“No worries, I brought this on myself. I didn’t know you could look so…” He thought of the words to describe it with. Scary was the first one that came to mind but it wasn’t exactly right. “different. You looked different. I guess it can’t be easy to be a prince if you have to develop such sense.” He said, as if he didn’t have a knife inside his boot and slept with a dagger under his pillow.

“No nothing like it, I believe it’s just a thing with me. Sudden things…startle me.”

Claude felt that was a sore theme with him so he decided not to press him. For now at least. He decided changing topic was the wisest choice now.

“Were you looking for something in particular? Just so you know, this is like my second home, so I may be able to help you. I know this place almost as good as Tomas, but I’m way more useful because, if you want to find him, he is never here, trust me.”

Dimitri seemed to seriously consider his offer, looking back at the bookshelf he was in front of helplessly. He sighed in defeat.

“Okay, I really could use some help. I was looking for reports on the founding of the Church but every time I come in here the books I find are so general I can’t really get anything from it.”

“Why does the prince of Faerghus want to know about the founding of the Church? It’s not like the most accurate records will be kept in the library.” Dimitri turned to him then, confused. Claude almost wanted to laugh at how cute he looked. “The accurate numbers, with all the real precedence of the money and where it is going will be in Seteth’s office for sure, not here so anyone can access it.”

Dimitri’s eyes opened wide then, as if Claude had opened a new world to him. He came back a moment later and moved to Claude then.

“You have my most sincere gratitude Claude. I’ve been browsing through these bookshelves for what seemed like years and I never reached a conclusion. Now at least I know where to look. Now, if you’ll excuse me.”

He moved towards the exit after a curt nod but Claude put himself in his way to prevent his escape. This was too interesting to let it escape.

“What are you planning to do now that you know about this Your Highness? Don’t tell me you are going to enter Seteth’s office and ask for permission.” The silence answered him. “I’m just warning you but, in here, it won’t matter that you are the future king. The Church won’t let you see everything they spend their money on just for asking. You need an strategy here.”

Dimitri seemed to evaluate him after that, his eyes way colder than what Claude was used to see in the other’s. He almost seemed like an entirely different person.

“What do you get out of helping me with this?” He asked, suspicious. But fair enough.

“You tell me that if you saw me in the late hours of the night searching for information on the Church’s expenditures and funds you wouldn’t be curious? We really are not made of the same thing.” Dimitri still seemed suspicious, but he didn’t try to barge on to the exit, so Claude took it as an invitation to continue. “I’m curious and I want to know what this is about. And I wouldn’t mind checking out those records, the could prove to be very interesting. But we need to be smart about this. If Seteth caught us I don’t know what he would do to us.”

Dimitri still seemed unsure, looking into Claude’s eyes as if searching for a secret scheme behind them. But there really was none.

“Okay, you seem to be really interested in this records. You’ve got me curious about them now. So here’s the deal. Let’s go to you room now. We will work on an idea on how to steal those records from Seteth’s office and, if after planning it you still don’t trust me, you can move on with the plan all on your own and I’ll keep quiet about all the ordeal. Deal?”

He still didn’t seem convinced, but he seemingly accepted that he could not get rid of Claude right now. He extended his gloved hand to stretch Claude’s. The other accepted with a smile, knowing he won.

They then moved towards the exit together (not without Claude taking three new books for his reading). He noticed Lindhart still on his seat, his head against the book he was reading and sound asleep. But something told Claude he shouldn’t trust his apparent state too much. Well, whatever.

Once they entered Dimitri’s room Claude felt slightly ashamed of his own room. Everything was perfectly ordered, with the covers of his bed without a single wrinkle and his desk clear apart for a carefully placed stack of papers next to a bottle on ink and a seal with the star symbol of the crest of Blaiddyd. Claude was stunned at how clean it seemed, not a spot of dust on the furniture. He really should get his own place cleaned up. This was embarrassing.

“Where would you like to begin?” asked Dimitri. He had calmed down drastically in the walk towards his room, recovering his kind and collected appearance that their conversation in the library had blown away. _He really is a mystery to unwrap_ , thought Claude. But everything at its own time.

“Well, first, let’s play some chess.”

That got him an odd look and Claude was going to justify himself but Dimtiri was already moving to retrieve a chess set that seemed like it had seen a lot of games already. The pieces were worn out and seemed to have been custom made a long time ago for the little Blaiddyd stars that decorated the pieces, though even them were already fading away from use.

“I never took you for an avid chess player. You don’t seem like the type.” Commented Claude, honestly surprised.

“I’m not. I know how to play, I sometimes play against Sylvain to avoid forgetting about it, though he always wins, no matter how hard I try.” Claude smiled, imagining a frustrated Dimitri hunched over the board to look for a way to get away from Sylvain, smirking all the while. “No, my father was the real chess player. He taught me a bit, but he usually played against Lord Rodrigue. They had some kind of score on their wins. After the Tragedy, not many people wanted to play chess in the palace.” He turned distant for a moment. “But I couldn’t leave it behind. It was very dear to my father.”

Claude remained quiet, seeing how obviously sensitive the topic of his family was to Dimitri, with good reason. He didn’t really know if he could say anything regarding the Tragedy of Duscur or of it would be rude and prompt Dimitri to kick him out of the room. So changing topic seemed like the best option.

“Well, this pieces will work nicely. Let’s play a game, see how you work.”

They sat on opposite sides, Claude whites, Dimitri blacks and they started. Claude had always felt that a game of chess is a good way to learn about another person’s way of thinking. And damn he is learning a lot about Dimitri today.

The game progresses, Dimitri hunching over gradually with it and Claude’s tolerance to his cute traits weakens. Seriously, one moment he almost kills him on accident and the other he is sulking because Claude will inevitably take his queen.

But he also learns that he is more impulsive than his calm exterior conveys. He pushed forward without thinking too much about the consequences as the game went on, not pausing to think about what Claude’s plan may be. In the end, Claude won without a sweat, with Dimitri returning to his usual charming self the moment it was over. Then, he began his plan.

“Well, now I’m curious. When I told you those documents were probably in Seteth’s office, what was your plan to retrieve them without him noticing?”

Dimitri scratched the back of his head, embarrassed. This should be good.

“Well, my first instinct was to go and ask for it.” Claude couldn’t contain a chuckle from escaping at the pureness displayed before him. Dimitri didn’t seem to like it but he didn’t comment on it, only pouted, which was very much not effective in shutting Claude up. “And, if not, I would get into his office at night and steal it.”

“That last one would be the logical way I guess. But it has its flaws. For example, have you ever seen Seteth sleep?” Dimitri looked confused there. _No wonder_ , thought Claude, _I picked it up because I wanted to where exactly did the faculty sleep but never actually saw Seteth leave his office in several nights_. “You need to analyse his habits if you want to get in there without him noticing. Also, it would be logic that those records are something that is to be checked frequently. What would happen if Seteth misses the documents and can’t find them while you are searching for whatever it is you want to learn.”

Now, Dimitri seemed much more trusting of him after hearing his reasoning, which lifted Claude’s spirits to present him with an idea. Or it would have happened when a knock on the door surprised them both.

Dimitri almost run to the door then. When he opened Sylvain’s voice drifted through, asking Dimitri to a sleep over or something. Sylvain, if his voice was anything to go by, sounded a bit drunk, but significantly less bitter than the last time he had heard him talk. Claude decided he would have a bit of fun out of this.

“Well, that would be bad, because he kind of has a previous arrangement right now.”

When he stood next to Dimitri at the door he saw that it wasn’t only Sylvain who was outside. Ingrid and Felix were both stunned there at his appearance. And they weren’t the only ones surprised. Dimitri’s face was turning bright red from the embarrassment and his hands seemed to tremble now.

“It’s not what you think!” He exclaimed, prompting Ingrid to start laughing as quiet as possible, Felix to scowl (as usual) and Sylvain to loose it. Meanwhile, Claude just remained there wondering when he would develop an immunity to Dimitri’s cuteness, because it was starting to get dangerous.

“And what do we think it is Dimitri?” Responded Sylvain, looking to drag out this conversation seemingly for as long as he can. Claude could respect that. Specially if he wanted to keep seeing…wait, focus Claude.

“Please, stop torturing the poor thing.” He said in order to cut short this interaction. He needed a way out from this thoughts popping in his brain. “I’m just teaching him some chess moves, nothing more. Though I wouldn’t really oppose to it.”

And again, his mouth betrayed his brain. He didn’t take in Sylvain and Ingrid’s laughter, but he did notice the reaction of the other two people present. Dimitri turned even redder than he was before and turned to him in absolute disbelief, which really didn’t help Claude’s rationality (seriously, this was slowly turning into a big problem). But he didn’t miss the glare Felix was directing at him. _The Boar_ , Claude remembered, was what Felix called Dimitri. Why? What had happened between those four? And why was Felix glaring at him when he appeared to not care about Dimitri at all?

“I’m sorry, I can’t go right now.” His thoughts were interrupted by Dimitri’s voice, which sounded disappointed but happy at the same time. “But I would love to come next time. Thank you for thinking of including me.”

Claude heart broke a little at the hope that radiated from Dimitri’s voice at the idea of spending time with his childhood friends. Sylvain, in his still slightly drunk state, seemed to notice it too because there was a pained expression on his face, like he wanted to insist but didn’t know if he should. Or maybe something deeper. The thing was that nobody seemed to keen on continuing that conversation so Claude decided to intervene.

“Well, you can always rain check, right? This won’t be the last time you see each other or anything. And, now that everything is settled, let’s go.” He pushed Dimitri inside with as softly as he could, watching him waving goodbye shyly to his friends while they closed the door with a smile stuck on his face at the sight. He looked so happy.

Once they were alone again and Claude heard the other three entering Sylvain’s room he decided to speak again.

“You could have gone with them you know? We can always reschedule this. It’s not like we will get the documents right away and it seemed like you really wanted to go with them.”

Dimitri turned to him rapidly, denying with his head.

“Claude, please, don’t worry. It’s just as you said, we can always…rain check. Besides,” he smiled at him then, looking grateful somehow. “we were already having a nice discussion. I really want to keep hearing about your ideas Claude.”

“You’re going to make me blush Your Highness.” Answered Claude after a pause, because he really felt like he could combust right that moment. He looked so sincere in his words, which only deepened Claude’s growing blush. He was so thankful for his dark skin at that moment.

“Please Claude, call me Dimitri.” Claude turned to him to reply to that, he didn’t know if teasingly or curious about that statement, but Dimitri continued. “I’ve spent a long time trying to convince the people around me to call me by my name because I don’t want them to ever think that I can order them around at any given moment just because of my position. Just now, Sylvain was the first one to call me by my name in my house.” Claude thought that there probably was another reason why Sylvain hadn’t done that before but he didn’t comment. “I don’t want you to refer to me like that either. I guess what I’m trying to say here is…” He took air, trying to gather courage like this was more difficult for him that it seemed from the outside. “I want us to be friends.”

Claude thought of a million reasons to reject him. A close relationship between two future leaders of Fodlan could be used as leverage to accuse them of bias towards each other’s territories. It could disrupt the balance of power among the houses. Heck, Dimitri may not like him if he gets to know him a bit better (a thought that cut Claude deeper than expected). But Claude was surprised to find himself answering differently than expected. Some really curious things were happening today.

“Okay.” It was said as casually as he could but inside there were some really conflicting feelings battling each other regarding this decision. “But, just so you know, I’ll probably end up coming up with quite a few nicknames for you, so don’t expect me to call only your name.”

Dimitri seemed so…thankful. Yes, that was the word. Dimitri seriously thought that Claude would reject him right at that moment. Even Claude thought it would turn out that way, but now the thought of having hurt Dimitri by saying no was like a knife to his chest.

“Thank you Claude. You don’t know how much it means to me.”

“No need to thank me Dimitri.” He saw the smile widening in the other’s face, and only for that all his thoughts against this seemed meaningless. _Maybe you are the one who will regret it_ , thought Claude to himself. “Shall we move on now with the planning?”

“Of course.”

They discussed how they would do it for a while, Claude seated on the floor with his back to the wall and Dimitri walking around the room when thinking. Claude proposed to forge a copy with some magic, but their lack of any particular talent in that area scratched that idea away, with Dimitri frowning at the idea of getting anyone else on the plan. Dimitri insisted they should try to do this at night, but Claude told him about his experience tailing teachers and faculty around the monastery (and about the time he tailed Shamir just for a knife to be thrown in his direction for it to land just a few centimeters shy from his neck, story that both amused and worried Dimitri) so they settled on trying to do this during the day, when Seteth was the busiest and left his office for longer periods of time.

In the end, they both concluded that they wouldn’t be able to get the records during this moon, both because of their daily activities and how they really didn’t know if they were going to get any free time to tail Seteth properly and pinpoint the moments he left his office for the longest amount of time. They probably would need to get inside the office several times, a first time to locate the records and the next time to read them in the office, avoiding the problem of making a replacement of the document to leave behind. It wasn’t ideal, but it was a plan.

“I’m not used to planning something like this. I feel like I’m doing something wrong.” Admitted Dimitri, once they had all planned out.

“That’s why I’m here, right? I’m way more used to listening in and being discrete.”

“When you are not proposing to fling yourself through Seteth’s window from your wyvern to get inside.”

“Hey, that would be an easy way to avoid the corridors and get inside undetected.”

“Because a wyvern is lowkey.”

They both cackled at that, without really knowing why it seemed funny. It was starting to get late and Dimitri had had to interrupt their conversation to light up come candles so that they wouldn’t be talking in complete darkness.

Claude was having fun. He didn’t usually get the chance to plan anything with anyone besides Hilda, and those were usually pranks. He liked discovering that Dimitri had some drive for knowledge, even if he didn’t really know why he needed those records. At some point he would ask Dimitri. But not now. Not when he was so calm and happy. It would be a conversation for another day.

“I think it’s time for me to leave now. Unless you invited me with some hidden motives.” He winked at him, thoroughly enjoying the blush that spread through his face. Making him blush was becoming one of his favourite pastimes.

“How rude of me. You must be tired Claude.” He moved to put his hand on his shoulder and look him intensely in the eyes. “Thank you for your help. I would still be in the library looking around if it weren’t for you.”

“No worries Dimitri. That’s what friends are for.”

He walked out of the room, seeing Dimitri wave at him one last time before closing the door, prompting Claude to walk to his room in a daze. Once he entered, he changed to lighter clothes, pushed all his books to the side and proceeded to try to sleep, his eyes fixed to the ceiling and wondering about the events of the day.

He didn’t know how long he spent that way but at some point he started noticing light coming through from the window. He didn’t sleep a wink, too bothered by the thoughts in his head about Dimitri to do it. He exhaled defeated and decided to change to his uniform and leave his room to get some early breakfast and later try to sleep some more.

He left his room and, when he looked to his right, he heard steps. Felix was walking from what definitely was Sylvain’s room with a very visible blush on his face. He was so absorbed by his thoughts that he didn’t even notice Claude watching him until he reached his own door.

“What are you looking at Riegan?” He said, seemingly more abrasive than the usual in the early morning.

“Nothing, nothing. You had a good morning Felix?” He really couldn’t help himself.

The blush on Felix’s face seemed to intensify tenfold, but from embarrassment or anger Claude didn’t know. He decided on anger when suddenly Felix stood in front of him.

“Don’t you dare tell anyone about this. Specially the Boar. I don’t know what your deal is with him, but let me tell you this. He is not what he seems.”

And with that he turned to open his door and promptly slam it closed once he was inside. He left Claude stunned in the hallway, his mind jumping from his conversations with Dimitri last night to Felix’s warning. He really has repeated this a lot lately, but this people from Faerghus really kept their secrets close to their hearts. Claude wondered if those were going to be the end of them.


	9. Flower

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry to have taken so long in updating. Work was pilling up and whenever I wanted to update anything I was too tired to function properly. Anyways, I'll try to settle for a more regular updating schedule, but for now I'm not sure when I'll be posting next, but surely next week there will be at least one other chapter.  
> Thank you so much and please enjoy!

Dorothea woke up in a sweat. Images flashed against her eyelids causing cold shivers to run through her spine. Sweat drops run through her forehead at the rhythm of her uneven breath.

She couldn’t remember what her nightmare was about, and that scared her. Normally she would be able to remember every dream she had at night. It was the source of most of her fondest and most horrible memories of her childhood begging in the streets of Enbarr.

But this dream seemed different. It wasn’t she couldn’t remember, she realized, it’s that it was fragmented, like a letter whose words where spoilt by water, only leaving fragments still intact and the rest illegible.

She remembered a red cape, flowing in the wind in a field illuminated by campfires. Tunnels running down everywhere, leading to nowhere, or to anywhere. A radiant light, pure white, falling from the sky. Petra’s hair obscuring her eyes, a single tear running down her cheek.

It was intense in a way Dorothea didn’t believe dreams would be for her anymore. It seemed so real she couldn’t shake the thought of this been a bad omen for the future.

She got out of bed, grabbed a jacket and some shoes, and head outside, hoping the cool night air would calm her down. She headed towards the cathedral, knowing it would be deserted with the monastery closed for the night. That would have been her objective, if it weren’t for a shadow, leaning on the bridge border and looking at the moon.

Professor Byleth had always had some kind of alien beauty, the kind of attractiveness you couldn’t really explain. She was gorgeous, Dorothea had eyes, but it was so much more than that. Whenever someone was close to her they could feel an strange impulse to confide on her, to rely on her strength. Dorothea didn’t think she had seen anyone who didn’t feel, at the very least, severe respect for this new professor. Even Hubie had openly praised her abilities, that that wasn’t something to scoff at. Edie too was impressed by her dexterity in combat, as well as her talent to lead. And, if Dorothea trusted anyone’s assessments on others, it was that two’s.

“Beautiful night, isn’t it Professor?” greeted Dorothea, feeling her anxiety calming already.

Professor Byleth turned her head slowly towards her, her eyes rapidly landing on Dorothea’s and bringing the thought, not for the first time, that they’ve met each other before, in another life.

“Good night to you too Dorothea. It is indeed a good night.” Her answers were never long, she never really said more than necessary, but tonight Dorothea was thankful for it.

She moved to lean against the wall next to her professor, turning to look at the stars over them with her. Now that she thought about it, when was the last time she just took a long breath a relaxed like this?

“Are you alright Dorothea? Bad dream?” Asked the Professor, her voice monotonous as always.

“Yes, I need some fresh air.” Said Dorothea, feeling her muscles still relaxing but contracting again against the night chill. “It has been a very intense day. Maybe my brain was taking revenge for that.”

She laughed to herself. Professor Byleth, unsurprisingly, didn’t, but didn’t move away or press on, which weirded out Dorothea. The only trait she thought was consistent for the Professor, the only one everyone was able to perceive, was her intense care for her students (or her meedlig, it depends who you ask). There were two options here: either she is being considerate to Dorothea in a moment of weakness, or she is having her own problems right now, which was something weird in itself.

“Is everything alright with you Professor? You don’t look too well.”

Dorothea threw that question fully expecting an answer on the lines of “I’m fine, thank you”. But this professor always knew how to take her off-guard.

“Tell me about your class. What do you think of the people of the Black Eagles?”

That was such an drastic change of topic that her head spun. She looked at her professor questioningly, not knowing what to say, but she stopped before uttering a single word. Byleth was looking at the stars intensely, her blue eyes shining with such intensity Dorothea couldn’t look away. It reminded her, once again, that the Professor was merely a few years older than them, but she was already carrying the weight of sending all of them into battle time and time again, qithout ever knowing if they will all come back alive. That idea made Dorothea want to search for Rhea and shake her, demanding an explanation as to why did such a kind and thoughtful person such as Byleth have to go through all this. Specially with all that was going on this year. Specially with students such as poor innocent Ashe, who had to watch as his adoptive father was killed by the Knights of Seiros and his own class. It was a lot to put on the shoulders of someone so young.

That was what first impulsed her to answer her question, not knowing where it would lead her, but being sure to follow her lead.

“I have my thoughts, you could say. Caspar is lovely, though a bit overbearing at times, but he has good intentions. Lin is the embodiment of lazy but he knows when to help you out if you are in need, like he somehow always knows the right words to say. Bern is a sweetheart full stop, it’s admirable how hard she is trying to get out of her shell and interact with others. Ferdie is…” she paused there, remembering her story with him, a story even he isn’t aware of. “he is not bad, just another insufferable noble like the rest.”

Professor Byleth scoffed but said nothing at that. Dorothea would have felt the urge to reply but she was shocked. She had barely seen her smile, but laugh openly? That really was new.

“I believe you could be good friends if you gave him the chance.” She commented, her voice devoid of feeling but her words sharp.

The dessert incident the other day came to her mind suddenly. He really was a bee. But maybe she could reassess her idea of him. Someday.

“Anyways, where was I? Ah yes, now Hubie. You could say he’s a bit obsess with Edie, but he has a good heart. At least I think so. Maybe. I don’t know, the only thing I know certainly about him is that he has a huge crush on Ferdie and Edie and I find it hilarious.”

Byleth turned a lopsided smile to her conspiringly. The not-so-secret secret was definitely safe with her.

“Well, Edie is amazing. She is young, diligent, capable. I really admire her a lot. Though she could sometimes benefit from chilling out a bit. She pushes us so hard, I can’t imagine how she pushed herself.”

Now Dorothea didn’t imagine the smile on the other woman, small and soft. She really was seeing so many amazing things today.

She then remembered who she had left and hesitated. She couldn’t be certain the Professor would know, but Dorothea had a feeling she would, now matter if Dorothea tried to hide it. But she gathered strength and finished.

“Petra…she is really sweet. She works so hard towards her goals, she is smart, funny, strong. She really shines with her own light in the class. She even talked to me normally, even though she is a princess, from a vassal nation of the Empire nonetheless. But she always treats everyone equally. Everyone.”

The knowing face Professor Byleth was directing her seemed to reach to the furthest corners of her soul, seeing the truth of her feelings for Petra displayed there, open for her as if it was easy. But she didn’t say anything about it, didn’t even look at her with pity at the very obvious desire that dripped from her words. She just turned her gaze, faced the horizon, and heard her breath. After a moment, Dorothea joined her.

They stayed like that for a while, both absorbed in their own thoughts when Professor Byleth spoke again.

“You should tell her.” Dorothea, surprised at the words that broke their silence, moved to retort but the other woman didn’t let her. “I know for you it seems futile, like it can’t and won’t lead anywhere. But you need to try. Trust me on this.” She paused, seemingly pondering if she should voice her thoughts. “You would do anything to be with her, don’t let something as weak as consequences stop you.”

There was an odd tonality to her voice, as if she was repeating words said to her at some point. But, somehow, they rang true in Dorothea’s (definitely sleep deprived, it was the only logical explanation to her accepting this thing) brain. She wanted to see Petra now, if at least for a moment, but she had one last question.

“You are waiting for something right?” She asked, somewhat uncertain. “Something is going to happen.”

Byleth looked at her, her dark blue eyes reflecting the little light that illuminated the bridge. He looked at her with seriousness in her eyes, with a feeling so deep and moving Dorothea was tempted to pry even further on the issue. But the feeling evaporated, leaving behind those eyes, still unreadable but with the capacity to hold a storm at bay.

“Try for the greenhouse.”

Dorothea turned away, hoping her Professor wouldn’t be swept by the winds. Or any of them.

* * *

Dorothea was reminded of the cold once she entered the greenhouse and noticed the difference in temperature. She was only wearing a jacket over her night clothes, that didn’t help much with the cold, and her oldest boots. She brushed her arms trying to get the blood to move faster but she didn’t need to worry, she was going to get help.

Once she moved deeper into de greenhouse she saw Petra tending to a plant that grew in a corner. When Dorothea got over her surprise at how Professor Byleth somehow knew where Petra was (weird, but she was kind of weird on a regular basis), she noticed the small flower she was looking at, it’s petals a purplish red. But the most shocking part of it was it was glowing. Like, lighting up Petra’s face, illuminating the tiniest of smiles that made Dorothea’s heart skip a bit kind of glowing. Though maybe Dorothea was more concentrated in the other flower there.

She tried to approach carefully, not wanting to break that peaceful expression in the other woman’s face for anything in the world. But Petra’s hunting senses caught her the second she entered the area she was clutching over. She seemed surprise to see her here (no wonder, Dorothea is one of the last people anyone would expect to see at the greenhouse), but her surprise rapidly turned to happiness, one so pure it brought a matching smile to Dorothea’s face immediately. Oh, the power those eyes had on her.

“Dorothea! I was not expecting you. It is late, what are you doing?”

“I couldn’t sleep so I decided to have a walk, clear my thoughts. I was wondering, what is that gorgeous thing you’ve got there?”

Petra tore her eyes of her to direct them at the flower, whose petals in the meantime had started turning from purplish red to crimson. Her smiled turned brighter, more nostalgic at seeing this.

“This is a flower that grows in Brigid. I was talking to Dedue, he likes plants, and he had ability to grow many plants. I asked if he could help me grow this and he said yes. I come to check its growing.”

She seemed so excited, wrinkles appearing besides her eyes in her excitement and Dorothea could do nothing but watch, stunned by how much light she was bringing to the somewhat dark greenhouse.

“I’ve never seen anything like it. It glows! And it such beautiful colours.”

“Yes, it is very beautiful. In Brigid we have an old legend about this flower. Would you like for me to recite it?”

Dorothea nodded almost without thinking, but the excitement in Petra’s expression brought no regrets. She sat next to her, the flower between both of them.

“In Brigid, it is said the spirits are all around us, guarding us from the exterior world and guiding our ways.” She paused, her tone growing serious with every word. “But the earth spirits are different. They roam the land, doing things they want. They can be dangerous. Many people are lost to them, their songs have much power and take them away.”

“It is said that, one day, a boy was making an offering to the earth spirits to help them grow food. He was small but nobody was in ability to go with him to make and offering and he wanted to be helping. He took a flower and went to the altar in the forest.”

“He left the flower and was doing his praying when the queen spirit came, in surprise of a small boy doing the offering. The boy wasn’t scared, he was a child, so he said his family needed helping and he wanted to help. The queen liked the child and decided to help.”

“Since then, the family could always be growing food and the spirits didn’t take anyone living in the village. The boy grew, but still visited the queen spirit. She was very good to him. She took the flower he had taken for her years before and made that the flower didn’t die, always alive and white. She told him stories of the spirits and their lives. The queen loved him like he was one of her spirits. Always they were friends.”

“But the boy was growing old and weak. He couldn’t visit the queen so much, so she visited him. When he was so weak he couldn’t move, she made him a flower, like the one he gave her when he was little. It is said that, when the night comes, the light comes from the flower, the boy calling for the queen to tell her more stories and, when it dies, it turns white, because the queen is visiting him.”

Dorothea looked at Petra as she was telling the story, mesmerized. She couldn’t help but think about the queen though.

“What did the queen do after? When she was alone? I must have been very sad.”

“She cried.” Answered Petra, her tone comforting. “She cried the other spirits were thinking the rain would not stop. She was really sad. But she forgot the boy sometimes, and the rain stopped. But when the rain season arrives, the queen is remembering the boy, because he died then, and it rains, it rains very hard.”

“I wished she could be happy after, its so sad.” Commented Dorothea, her heart clenching.

“But she can’t.” Dorothea turned her head sharply to look at Petra, surprised at her words and their coldness. “She promised the boy his farm would grow food. They are in need of rain if they want to…accomplish it. So the queen remembers and it rains in Brigid.”

“It still seems unfair. Why can’t another spirit bring rain? Why must she be the one to do it?” Dorothea was growing more frustrated with the story, but Petra didn’t falter, her expression calm as she explained.

“But the boy only grows when it rains. Look.”

Petra turned to take a container with water she had at her side and dropped it, little by little, on the ground surrounding the flower. When the water touched it, the colours turned brighter, a streak of white appearing in the middle of the flower that was now sporting an orange hue.

“She can only meet the boy when he dies, and when it rains. So she remembers him, she is sad, and then she is happy because she is with him. And colours appear everywhere because the spirits are also happy for the queen.”

Dorothea kept wondering about the queen. All that sadness, all that suffering, so she could see her boy again.

“She must have really loved him.” The words came out of her before she could stop them. Petra directed her a look Dorothea couldn’t decipher.

“He was like son to her. The spirits are powerful, but they are alone. Humans are weak, but they are not alone. They help each other because the are not wanting to be alone. The queen doesn’t want to be alone.”

The words left her there, not knowing how to continue from there. There was only one thing she was certain of now.

“Can you tell me more legends from Brigid?” Her voice was barely a whisper even for her, but Petra smiled at her, her brightness back in her eyes.

“Of course. I would love to share more stories. But Dorothea, you have to tell me a story now.” Dorothea turned at that, confused. Petra’s smile was mischievous. “A story for a story. It is a good…deal.”

Damn the Goddess. It wasn’t as if Dorothea couldn’t say no. It was that, when Petra looked at her like that, her expression open and happy, that Dorothea didn’t want to deny her anything.

She racked her brain for a story. She could tell her the plot of one of the operas she had starred at, she would love some of them. But she could get those stories anywhere. She wanted to give her something no one else could. A story only they would know. She watched the colours of the flower change again, a golden hue illuminating the space between her and Petra, so small and yet it seemed so far away.

“This is the story of a little star.” She began, wondering if this was for the best. If Petra would see behind her story. If she would see everything. “It was so little its light almost didn’t reach others. It was alone, it was tired. It didn’t know what it had to do to shine brighter, to reach others with its light.”

“One day, it began turning on itself, watching the sparks of its light dancing around her, forming galaxies, constellations. The other stars watched, admired it, always wanted to get closer. For a time, the little star wasn’t alone.”

“But all every other star was expecting was to keep it shining, keep watching it forever. The star was growing dizzy, was growing tired again. It just wanted to rest, to find someone that saw it, not its light and all its fancy turns.”

“It searched everywhere, but found no one. Everyone saw it, but they remained watching the light, nothing else. But it al changed one day, when it met the sea.”

“The sea saw it, it saw the light and all its beauty and complimented the star. The star loved the sea. All the light it received, it gave it back, it was vast, it was strong. The star loved the sea.”

“One day, the star asked the sea, ‘why do you like me so much? I’m just a tiny star far away, you don’t have to be with me’. The star said this terrified, knowing that if the sea rejected it too, its light would turn much dimmer. ‘I like you because you shine for others’ the sea answered ‘bringing light everywhere. I want to see your light more.’”

“So the sea and the star remained together. They saw each other, and they where never alone again.”

Dorothea finished the story with her heart thumping in her chest so hard she feared Petra could hear it too. She turned to see her expression. She was looking at her with a pensive expression, as if analysing her words and all the possible meanings that may escape her. Dorothea’s beating heart turned even faster then.

Petra seemed to reach a conclusion at some point and moved to speak, her hand moving to brush a lock of hair that had fallen to cover Dorothea’s face. A blush spread through her cheekbones.

“The sea was scared too.” She said, her voice here but her thoughts seemed far away. “It felt big and confused, and the little star was bright. The sea wanted the star to never leave it, the two watching the light together.”

Dorothea’s heart couldn’t handle all this. Petra was looking at her as if she didn’t realize what she was doing to her, as if she couldn’t see how all her feelings were clearly displayed on her face and on her soul. And that was the glass of cold water Dorothea needed to wake up from this dream.

She turned to smile at Petra.

“I think the star wanted that too. But it was too far away.” And with that, she got up and moved towards the exit. Petra was still seated next to the flower, its light turning almost white now and illuminating her face beautifully in an expression of confusion. _You are a coward_ , she thought to herself. “Goodnight Petra.”

She left closing the doors to the greenhouse, and if a stray tear run through her cheek, that was between the stars and her.


	10. Brother

The rain fell hard on the Blue Lion’s backs as they marched through Galatea towards Conand Tower. They all were silent, both because of the tension of the mission and the presence of Gilbert, a member of the Knights of Seiros and Annette’s missing father.

She walked ahead of them all, her demeanor much colder and serious than any had ever seen in her. Her enthusiasm and cheer had always been a balm to all of them on missions like this so the class was not liking Gilbert at all.

Felix was walking behind Annette, his hand on the pommel of his sword. The cloak they all used to shelter from the rain covered his face, but Sylvain was pretty sure he wouldn’t hesitate to attack if he saw Gilbert attempt to get close to the small redhead. Though who would murder him first, him or Mercedes, was another issue.

Mercedes was a saint in every sense of the word, but her aura was positively murderous the second her eyes landed on Gilbert and she realized who he was. She was walking next to her friend, her head lowering to whisper a few words to the other girl from time to time, but her calm posture betrayed an anger like he wouldn’t have ever suspected. He really didn’t want to cross Mercedes any time soon.

Pretty much everyone in the class was on edge with their new companion. Ashe was looking ahead, decidedly not exchanging any words with anyone and playing with an arrow from time to time. Ingrid walked next to him, tension evident in every muscle and fire in her eyes. Dedue was definitely the calmest, his shadow walking ahead of them bringing the feeling of support they needed in this journey. Dimitri marched front talking quietly with the Professor and purposefully not looking behind him.

As for Sylvain, he just walked next to Ingrid and Felix, trying to pay attention to any sign that might indicate that any of them would turn back and kill an officer from the Church. They’ll have their fair share of killing for the day.

Conand Tower was as impressive as it was the last time he had been here. Glenn had taken them here as children, at their insistence of going on an adventure together and their parents’ irritation. Sylvain remembered King Lambert, who was visiting Fraldarius, laughing at their antics and looking at Rodrigue with a smile on his face, saying he should let as go, that it would be good to let us have a long excursion.

They packed their things and met Glenn, who was in charge of making sure they didn’t get lost, to the joy of Ingrid and Dimitri, who idolized Glenn, and the dismay of Felix, who had had a fight with Glenn that morning and was still mad at him. The anger didn’t last long though, with Glenn ruffling Felix’s hair and him pouting indignantly for a while. It never used to last long with Felix.

They had reached the tower on the afternoon, deciding to rest and have a light lunch. After that, they run around the tower, climbing its rocks and exploring the ruins of the old watch tower. They played knights for a while, with Felix chasing behind them with angry tears streaming down his face whenever he had to be the bad guy until either Sylvain or Glenn joined him, saying they deflected to the dark side and continuing the game.

Everything was so simple. Sylvain remembered wishing that day would never end, that he would never have to go back to Gautier, with its old walls, sad people and his father and brother. He wished he could stay in Fhirdiad with Dimitri, to keep him company during his father’s long meetings and walk around the city. Or in Galatea, to play with Ingrid and all her brothers and sister, who he couldn’t see often because her father only brought her crest-bearing daughter to his meetings. Or in Fraldarius, where he could always be with Felix, playing together, learning together, as well as with Glenn, who was someone Sylvain respected a lot and had always wanted to learn from.

Those dreams never could have come to reality, but he was a kid. He just dreamt.

Faint voices came from inside, the sound of chatter and laughter escaping the thick walls. With a nod, the whole class opened the doors and went inside.

The chaos of battle didn’t start immediately. There were a few seconds during which Sylvain made a mental headcount of all his friends, making sure they were okay, and vowing they would be okay. Nobody was going to die because of his brother. The it all began.

They followed Professor Byleth’s strategy, with Dedue and her in front, Dimitri just behind them and making sure Annette and Mercedes, usually the most vulnerable ones, were protected but could still attack. Felix and Ashe were positioned just behind them, with Ingrid inspecting everything from her pegasus and Sylvain on his horse, Gilbert behind them making sure no attacks came from behind them.

They advanced through the tower, taking down countless thieves. At some point Sylvain’s lance was so bloody that drops were constantly falling off of it, leaving a trail at his wake. The smell of magic burning away the life of the thugs his brother had dragged into this permeated everything, as well as the cries of every fallen one.

Even though they were moving steadily thanks to Teach’s strategy, the battle wasn’t easy. Gilbert was missing a few pieces of his armour, Dedue had sustained a very nasty cut on his leg, Ashe was bleeding from a cut on his eyebrow and Dimitri had lost half of his cape when it caught fire and he had to cut it to avoid burning. At one point, Mercedes was the main reason Teach didn’t bleed out of a wound on her shoulder and Ingrid didn’t fall down from her mount when an arrow struck her thigh. Annette kept firing magic everywhere, turning enemies to dust while Felix cut down anyone who dared come in front of him. Finally, they reached the top of the tower.

Miklan was alone, having sent all his allies to try to stop them, but in vain. He was holding the Lance of Ruin on a defensive stand, his face contorted on an expression full of hate and resentment. The lance illuminated the area with its dim light, making the fight of one man against the entirety of the Blue Lions seem like the effort of a desperate man to survive. But his eyes had to land on Sylvain and, for a second, he was back to being a kid, he was back to the cold. He was inside the well again.

“Why have you come, you crest-bearing fool?” His voice sent a chill through Sylvain’s spine, but he moved forward to attack. His classmates let him through, knowing this was something he needed to do by himself but ready to attack if they felt he needed help. That feeling was like a balm on Sylvain’s heart.

“I’m here for the Lance of Ruin, Miklan.” He was proud his voice didn’t crack. “Hand it over. I don’t want to humiliate you, but I will.”

“Hmph! Hurry up and die already. If not for you…If it hadn’t been for you…” The regret, the fury on Miklan’s voice made a hole on Sylvain’s confidence, making him flinch physically at his words.

But, from the corner of his eye, he saw Ingrid, her lance ready to descend if he needed her. He felt the pull of magic from Annette, as well as from Mercedes, both prepared to heal or to crush in a moments notice. He felt Teach’s strong presence behind him, as well as Dimitri, and Dedue, and Ashe, all ready, all to help him. He saw Felix on his right, his weapon ready but his eyes never leaving Sylvain, ready to attack but being there for him too. He remembered the beginning of the month, when he learnt his brother had to die but walked a step closer to Dimitri, he talked with Dorothea, he spent time with his childhood friends in a way he didn’t feel like he had done in a long time.

Suddenly, any anger he could have felt for his brother dissolved, and only pity and regret were left. He could do this.

“Miklan, you don’t have to do this. Surrender and things won’t have to end that badly.”

But it was too late, because his brother moved forward to attack, the Lance of Ruin crushing against Sylvain’s lance and making an strange sound, like instead of metal against metal the Lance of Ruin was made of something softer, but no less durable. There was something weird happening. Whenever they crossed blades, Sylvain could feel the Relic absorbing Miklan’s life little by little, his attack growing weaker and his reflexes duller until they didn’t work anymore. His brother fell to his knees, defeated, but not deadly wounded, anger lingering in his eyes but his body had no strength to keep on fighting.

As Miklan fell, the Lance of Ruin started shining. Strange tentacles moved from the crest stone towards his brother, enveloping him completely. Sylvain felt his classmates move away, not knowing what was going on as the shadow that was his brother turned larger, and larger, until a demonic beast appeared where he once was.

He couldn’t move, he couldn’t breath, heck he couldn’t even tell if he was alive. The beast’s roar crushed his ears, startling his horse to move back so suddenly that Sylvain fell off, landing badly on his left shoulder, but he didn’t feel it, he only felt the horror of what had just happened to what once was his brother. What Sylvain’s existence had dragged him to. He felt alone again. The beast seemed to gain awareness of its surroundings because it looked at him, its big red eyes emotionless, as it prepared to pounce. And, for a moment, Sylvain surrendered. But, despite what his brain insisted on telling him, he wasn’t alone.

A shadow moved past Sylvain, fast as lightening and attacked the beast on the side, effectively distracting it from going for Sylvain but prompting an attack in retaliation that almost crushed him. Felix looked at him then, just for a second, before looking back to his enemy, a single intent in his eyes: kill. Sylvain wanted to scream.

A warm light descended on him, making the ache on his left shoulder to go away, while the shadow of a pegasus fell on the beast, Ingrid aiming her lance expertly and avoiding every attack. Dimitri didn’t hesitate, his lance ready and his monstrous strength pierced through its leg, making it impossible for it to move.

Sylvain moved then, feeling it was his responsibility to end this. To end his brother. To end the thing his brother turned into. To see the thing he could have been destroyed by his own hands right here, right now. He trusted his lance on the flank of the demonic beast, a river of black blood soaking his vision until a flash of fire brightened everything around him. Professor Byleth, the Sword of the Creator shining on her hand, moved forward to deal the last blow. Instinctively, Sylvain moved to stop her. He had to do this. He was the one that did this to Miklan. This should never had happened. He had to end it. He had to.

A hand stood on his way, taking his shoulder and making it impossible for him to move forward. Dimitri looked at him, his face grim but his posture firm, holding Sylvain by the arm and making it impossible for him to escape his grip. The Professor kept on cutting.

“Dimitri, I need to do this. Let me go.” His friend, his future king, looked at him seriously and shook his head. Sylvain wanted to scream. Another cut fell, this time from Dedue’s axe. “I need to be the one to do this! Miklan is my responsibility, I have to do this.”

Dimitri’s grip didn’t loosen, not one bit, no matter how much Sylvain struggled, how much he screamed, no matter how much he begged. Because this couldn’t be happening. He remembered the well and how, for a second, he had wished he could exchange places with Miklan. How he had wanted to hurt him, to make him suffer just like he had made Sylvain suffer all his life. He had felt so awful thinking that, so dirty, so tainted. He couldn’t let his brother die. Not because of him.

Felix came into view, his sword swinging in a perfect arch that cut deeply on the beast’s chest and it was over. Everything was over. Sylvain stopped resisting, his arms giving up on fighting Dimitri off and just looking at the beast dissolving, its black matter disappearing and leaving behind his brother’s body, a deep cut on the center of his chest, and the Lance of Ruin, its spikes moving eerily and the crest stone shining brightly. It was done. It was over. His brother was taken down.

Then how come he felt the sword had torn through his chest?

* * *

The trip back to the monastery was uneventful, or maybe something happened, but Sylvain was too out of it to care. He had the feeling someone had tried to talk to him, maybe Annette, or Ashe, but he hadn’t spoken a word. In the end, they gave up, leaving him be. He walked his horse at the back of the procession, his hands tight on the reigns and the eyes of his classmates and Professor checking if he was following, with her holding the Lance of Ruin on her back like some kind of banner. It made him sick.

Once they arrived, the rest of the class went on their way, with most of them moving towards the dining hall while Ingrid and Sylvain went to the stables to leave their mounts. At that moment, still in a daze, Sylvain saw Professor Byleth taking another way, probably towards the Audience Chamber to make her report for Lady Rhea. The lance was still with her. Sylvain didn’t think about it.

When he arrived, Professor Byleth was almost done talking to Lady Rhea when she brought up the subject of the Lance of Ruin.

“The Church will formally return the lance to house Gautier. If you would…”

“I will not.” Said Teach, her tone overpowering the once casual conversation she was just having with the Archbishop. Lady Rhea was stunned, but she recovered quickly and her eyes turned furious.

“What is the meaning of this?” She exclaimed, almost freezing Sylvain with the coldness of her tone. But he couldn’t let the Church take the lance. Or his teacher to take the brunt of Rhea’s anger.

“Excuse me Lady Rhea.” He said as he entered the Audience Hall, being those the first words he’d pronounce since his brother died. As he entered, he turned his eyes to Byleth, who looked at him with the subtlest of smiles, as if she knew he would come. Oddly, that gave him the push he needed to continue.

“I am grateful that the Church has helped recover the relic of my family, House Gautier.” His own words were like turning a knife in his stomach but he knew he needed to persuade Rhea right now. So he mustered his signature smile and schooled his tone, making sure it didn’t crack. “May I please have the lance?” He saw the moment she was moving to deny him that but he was faster. “I have received direct approval from my father to take possession of it.”

He was very much aware of the amount of bull he just spit out to get the Lance of Ruin from Rhea but, if it meant he would recover it, he would lie to his last breath. Lady Rhea seemed to think about it, not entirely sure.

“As the next head of House Gautier, do you swear that you will never cause such a deplorable incident to transpire?” She asked, her tone neutral but a threat behind her words.

“On my family’s name…” As if he cared about that. “and on my brother’s life,” He didn’t know why he had to say that one, but he suddenly had the necessity to say it. “I swear it.”

“Very well, but on one condition: you must not allow another to wield this lance. Your brother clearly demonstrated what awaits to those who break the restriction.”

A shiver run through Sylvain’s spine. He had always respected the Archbishop, (the Church was a really big thing in the Kingdom) but, at that moment, he felt like she was much bigger, much more powerful than she appeared to be at simple sight. And those who opposed her would feel her power first hand. Suddenly Sylvain didn’t want to remain much longer in front of the Archbishop.

“Yes, I…I will not soon forget.”

He felt Professor Byleth’s hand on his back, pushing him to move out of the Audience Chamber, which he thanked her for, because he wasn’t sure he would be able to get out of there by himself.

She pushed him towards the windows of the second floor, to a gap there so he could sit down. Once he did, he realized his legs were shaking slightly, the tension of his body leaving him now that he was on a calmer position. He breath in, out, in, out, until he felt himself go back to his body, Teach waiting patiently with the Lance of Ruin on her back. The sight calmed him and scared him at the same time.

“Are you better now?” She asked in her trademark monotone voice.

He nodded, trying his best to school his expression to his usual one, but he couldn’t think properly. He only knew he needed to take the lance, that he needed it. Even though he was scared of that too.

“I’m all better Teach, no need to worry.” He smiled, but even for him it felt strained.

His teacher didn’t seem convinced either, for obvious reasons, but she didn’t comment, only reached behind her and took the Lance of Ruin to give it to him. Sylvain moved to take it but before he did, when his hand was already touching the thing at feeling the pull of his crest, Byleth spoke.

“This lance is not your responsibility nor it is a prize you must pay. Your brother made his choice, but that doesn’t define you, nor it defines what you must do in the future because of it. You are your own person, a good person at that.” For a second Sylvain was too stunned to speak, looking into Byleth’s eyes without knowing how to react to this. “This lance is a tool, something you can use to open a path for yourself or your classmates or your views. But it is not something you have to bear and, if for a second you feel like that towards it, I will gladly take it and hide it forever. No one will know, your family doesn’t have to know, I don’t care if they know, I will do it. What happened today must never define you. You make your own path.”

Sylvain was at a lost of words. Professor Byleth had never been a person of many words, mostly relying on her actions to get across her views. But what she said. It meant a lot to Sylvain. He felt really lost, but he thought that idea might help.

He was still conflicted, not knowing what to do, but he mustered the courage to speak.

“Thank you Teach, really. I will think about this.”

And with that he took the Lance of Ruin and moved towards his bedroom. He was tired.

As he turned the corner, he almost crushed into Claude, who looked up at him with his bright green eyes shining with something akin to understanding. They looked at each other for a second during which none of them moved to speak, so Sylvain moved to walk down the stairs, just to feel Claude’s hand on his shoulder.

“Sorry.” He said, his voice terribly serious, a grand contrast with his usual easygoing personality. He couldn’t see his face as he was behind him, but he felt the tension on his limbs, trying to find the right words. “I didn’t want to eavesdrop; I know I’ve got no right to your story. But that thing” he said, obviously talking about the Lance of Ruin. “Is not some instrument from the Goddess built for the worthy. It is something way more complex and way more dangerous than that. And your brother shouldn’t have had to go through the thing he want through because he couldn’t wield it. I’m sorry.”

Sylvain turned then to look at him. His eyes were focused, his expression controlled and not letting a single emotion surface onto his careful mask. But his hands were tense, secure, as if, no matter what, he wanted to convey how he saw this issue but didn’t want to cause Sylvain to loose it.

That’s when Sylvain realized that, maybe, he had more friends and allies that he previously thought.

“Thank you Claude.”

He tried to smile, knowing it a bit strained, but true nonetheless, which caused a side smile to appear on Claude’s face and his tension to dissolve. He dropped his hand from his shoulder and Sylvain moved then towards his room again, feeling a little bit better.

When he climbed the stairs, his mind a mess, and walked to his door he noticed a familiar shape waiting for him.

His back against the door and his eyes closed, anyone would believe Felix was sleeping, few people able to imagine the Fraldarius heir able to relax in any circumstance. But to Sylvain, who had known him his whole life, he saw that Felix was just waiting, his ears alert to anyone getting near his door and ready to chase away anyone that may try to disturb him. The fondness he felt chased away the ghost of his brother for a second.

Felix heard him, his eyes opening and looking at him, evaluating his state. He had sustained a few injuries (not that he really felt them), and he felt much more calm than before after talking to Teach and Claude, but he knew that would not last long. Felix knew too, and that was why he was here. He looked at the Lance of Ruin, his expression guarded but Sylvain caught something that seemed like anger to emanate from his copper eyes.

“I’ve been waiting for a long time idiot.” He said, almost no bite to his words.

“Sorry to keep you waiting, I had to take care of some family matters.” Answered Sylvain, not really wanting to get into details, though he knew he would end up telling. Goddess, he was so weak.

He moved to open the door and didn’t ask Felix if he wanted to come in as he was already moving inside as he thought about it. He dropped the lance next to his bed, feeling his crest deactivating at the same time the light of the relic started to dim, as if feeling the separation from its source of energy.

Felix took a seat on his chair while Sylvain dropped onto his bed, proceeding to lie down and put his forearm over his eyes, not wanting to see. He suddenly remembered the day Ingrid and Felix had slept here. How he had felt so accompanied on a day he though he would be completely alone with his thoughts. And how he felt that loneliness again the moment he woke up to see that Felix had left without even saying a word. The bitterness he felt at that moment came back to him and he almost wanted to fall asleep right then and there, just to spite Felix. But he knew he couldn’t do that the moment he heard Felix speak.

“How are you?”

On normal circumstances, Sylvain would laugh it off, say he was fine and that he just needed some rest or to go to town and see if he could find someone to spend the night. But he could still see Felix plunging his sword into the demonic beast his brother had turned into, ending his life for good. And he couldn’t.

“To much happened today.” He said, honestly. “I hadn’t seen Miklan in years. It felt…strange.” The scowl on Felix’s face, normally a permanent fixture, deepened. That could only mean one thing. “I know, I know, he made my life a living hell when he was in Gautier, you really don’t need to remind me of that.”

Felix’s expression softened again. Sylvain wasn’t sure what he wanted to say, what was really roaming through his head after today, but he wanted to know. A part of him needed to know. So he looked at him, knowing years of friendship would get his message across. It did.

“Miklan was an asshole so obsessed with power he didn’t see what he did to you as wrong, only felt that it was your punishment for being born with a crest.” He gritted his teeth, the anger taking over his expression. “But the worst of all is that the person responsible for all that was your father. And he did nothing. He kept Miklan in your family for years, knowing what he did to you but not wanting to stain his reputation by having a disowned kid. Another worthless noble obsessed with status.” He looked at Sylvain then, his copper eyes intense, a fire behind them that made Sylvain incapable of looking away. “You didn’t deserve what he did to you. Your family doesn’t deserve you.”

That’s why he did it, he realized then. Felix killed Miklan because he thought Sylvain didn’t deserve to have his brother’s death on his conscience. He did it for him.

At that moment, the wave of affection that went over him was so powerful Sylvain felt the need to kiss Felix right there. To feel his care, his fierceness. His willingness to risk his life for the ones he cares about. To feel him close and to never feel that loneliness and the pain it carried ever again. But he knew he shouldn’t that Felix would not be okay with it, or that he may consider it something Sylvain was doing to hide away from the events of the day. So he decided to confess other thing.

“Did I ever tell you…” He started, not sure of how to continue. “about the day he left me in the forest?” Felix tensed but shook his head, not saying a word. “It happened when I was around ten. He took me to the forest, for an “excursion” he said.” Sylvain laughed despite himself, remembering the blizzard, his brother’s cold smile when he said those words. And how he had believed every word because he wished with all his heart that this was the time he could have a real brother. Like the one Felix had in Glenn. The Felix of this time was serious looking at him attentively while he moved to sit on the bed. That calmed Sylvain a little. A little.

“We walked for a while, I don’t know how long. I wanted to complain that I was cold, that I wanted to go back, but I didn’t want Miklan to shout at me. So we kept on walking until we reached a small cave. He said to wait for him there, that he wanted to check something in the woods. I obeyed obviously.” He stopped, he needed to. If he concentrated, he could still feel the bite of the cold, his fingers turning numb and so cold that he didn’t even shake. “He didn’t come back. I was left there for a long time. Actually, that was the first time I used fire magic.” He surprised himself remembering that. In the mist of that experience, he had forgotten about that. “But I was left there until my father’s knights found me. I could have died, I know that, but the only thing I cared about at the moment wasn’t that. You know what it was?”

He didn’t know why he asked. Maybe he wanted to make sure Felix was listening. Maybe he wanted to have an opportunity to stop. Or maybe he wanted to feel like Felix understood him, like he knew what happened through his mind there. He shook his head, his eyes never leaving his.

“I was scared of what punishment Miklan would receive. If it was light, he may do it again. But, if it wasn’t…he may do something worse.”

He could remember clearly the feeling, the pure fear that had gripped his heart too hard for the heart of any ten-year-old. He could feel Felix moving on the bed, his body wanting to do something but neither him nor Sylvain seemed to know what. So he spoke.

“He deserved it.” His tone was final, his anger real and raw.

A part of Sylvain wanted to contradict him, wanted to fight that statement. _A part of me will always blame me for everything Miklan did_ , he thought, bitterly, knowing that was probably the truth.

He remembered Dimitri holding him, making it impossible for him to join in the fight and deal the final blow, probably knowing what that would make him. He remembered the looks of the other Blue Lions, their eyes worried and protective at the same time. He thought of Claude, who understood everything was more complicated even though he didn’t know everything.

He even thought of Byleth, her piercing blue eyes looking into him, telling him his brother didn’t define him. That he wasn’t responsible. That he wasn’t alone.

He was so tired. An important part of his childhood was now buried in Conand Tower, and he didn’t fully know how to deal with that information. He didn’t want to think. He didn’t want to feel.

So he surrendered and, for a moment, he believed Felix’s words to be true. That his brother was responsible for what he did to him. That Miklan was responsible for his own actions. That he didn’t have to carry that weight on his shoulders.

“Can you stay?” He asked, his voice low and soft, a part of Sylvain scared for the answer. “I really don’t want to be alone.”

Felix stiffened, tense all over. At that, Sylvain moved to sit and immediately brush off that affirmation, even though he needed Felix there for him, just for today, to feel him next to him and know everything was going to be alright. But as he opened his mouth to laugh it all off Felix answered.

“Okay. But as soon as you’re asleep I’m out.”

Sylvain felt so grateful he didn’t even comment on that last part, just sat with his back against the wall and smiled at Felix. He wished that, someday, he could tell him everything about what he felt.

And today, as they talked, watching the hours burn away and as their eyelids turned heavy, he felt that one day, soon, he may be able to say it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was very conflicting to write because there were just so many things that affected each and every one of the Blue Lions during the mission in Conand Tower, and I always felt like the game revolved only about how the relics work and, as if it was an after thought, how the relic was important to Sylvain. But there were so many things going on there, that I needed to address some of them.  
> Honestly, I just love the Blue Lions and I think they deserve the world.  
> End of rant, and hope you liked the chapter, leave kudos or comments if you like.  
> Thanks!


	11. Questions

The Blue Lions entered through the gates of the Officer’s Academy that afternoon, a shadow seemingly soaking the air around them, indicating nothing good had happened.

Claude didn’t want to admit it, but he was worried. Over the past month he had began spending more time with the students from other houses, especially Ingrid, with who he had gone on a morning flight a few times, and a certain uptight prince, who still had a lot to learn about chess, but seemed so eager to learn that Claude couldn’t resist playing game after game with him while they planned their infiltration into Seteth’s office.

Actually, that wasn’t going all to well either. They had basically stalked Seteth the whole month, hoping to catch some kind of trend in his daily routine, but it was for nothing, to Claude’s annoyance and Dimitri’s increasing impatience. He only left his office for sort periods of time whenever he could help it, wondering around the monastery searching for documents or people (mainly Flayn) just to return moments after, leaving no gap of time during which both could search thoroughly the office.

Claude still didn’t know why Dimitri wanted the Church’s records, the other not giving up any information on the subject, but the other’s growing impatience was reveling to Claude in a whole other way. He was beginning to think Dimitri wasn’t the perfect knight everyone believed, but that was the image he wanted to project to everyone. Claude had worn enough masks to recognise others but, even though everyday he spent with the future king of Faerghus he could see it more clearly, he felt that the mask had a very different purpose than the ones Claude had used over the years.

But, from his position at the roof of the entrance hall, the solemnity that usually followed the Blue Lions had spread at their return from Conand Tower. Their main archer, Ashe, was holding his bow tightly in his hand, looking at the ground all the way with Dedue by his side, who had a hand on his shoulder and seemed to push him forward gently. Mercedes, usually all smiles, was serious, her hands joined and walking forward alone. Annette had clear marks on her cheeks that indicated she had been crying quite recently, which was a sharp contrast with Felix by her side, who seemed like he was ready to murder someone any minute. Claude didn’t see Ingrid at first, given she was flying over her class, but, once she landed, she looked no less serious than any of them, her expression schooled to apparent neutrality.

Dimitri seemed to move on automatic next to the Professor, his eyes lost in something in front of him but seemingly not registering anything happening around him, apart from a few stray looks at the back of their procession. In the beginning Claude wondered what he was looking up so worriedly but, when they came close enough, he didn’t need to ask.

Sylvain was positively dead. His face was white as a sheet, the only touch of colour a few stains that Claude didn’t know if they were dirt or blood in the distance. He was riding his horse forward, his position tense. He didn’t look like the same person a few hours ago was flirting shamelessly with Hilda to make her laugh.

_I guess that’s what happens when you see your brother die_ , he thought, grimly. _I don’t think my brothers would be like that if something similar happened to me though._

Shaking those thoughts from his mind, he watched as the class separated, with Sylvain and Ingrid moving towards the stables while the rest moved other ways. He watched as Dimitri walked towards the entrance hall, apparently slightly more aware of his surroundings that he was before if his posture indicated anything. But what made Claude keep tabs on that interaction was the fact that Felix seemed to follow close behind. Oh, that would be good.

He moved carefully on the roof, hoping that Dimitri had had time to cross the entrance hall towards the gardens before Felix caught up to him. And that he was able to cross the roof fast enough. Claude really didn’t want to miss this.

“Boar.” It still caused Claude discomfort hearing how Felix addressed his supposed childhood friend. Dimitri turned to face him, a blank expression on his face. “We need to talk.”

“Of course Felix. Is anything bothering you?” answered perfectly politely Dimitri, which only seemed to make Felix more reluctant to speak. He shook his head and moved forward.

“I saw what you did during the battle. You stopped Sylvain.” His voice was so strained when he said it (Claude didn’t know if for the situation he was describing or for Dimitri’s mere presence), he had some trouble piecing together what he was saying. But Dimitri didn’t seem to have such problem.

“It was nothing. Sylvain was not…fit to move in that situation. I just stopped him from getting more hurt.” Claude couldn’t see it clearly from up top but he swore Dimitri’s posture was absent again, like he wasn’t really paying attention to his surroundings anymore. Felix seem to catch it because he took a step forward to snap him out of it before speaking.

“Cut the crap. I know most people here buy the act of the loyal and dutiful prince, but you can’t fool me. I know what you are.” For a moment, Claude thought that was all he came to say, and he was ready to get down there and have a few words with the Fraldarius boy himself when he continued. “But…there’s no doubt you saved Sylvain there. He couldn’t face that monster with the aim to kill it, no matter if it was in his previous form or his latter one.” Claude reminded himself to store that bit of information to come back to it latter. He had so many questions. “What I mean to say is…thanks. You saved his life.”

Dimitri stood there for a second, watching Felix. Claude couldn’t even phantom what had gone down between those two in the past. He had tried to interrogate Ingrid and Dimitri about it but she remained a tomb, and Dimitri’s expression turned so sad that Claude had insisted himself not to breach the subject. But there were two things he had figured out: Felix was afraid of something Dimitri had done, and Dimitri would do anything to get back on Felix’s good side.

“It really was nothing. Sylvain is my friend. Killing family is not something anyone should be forced to do, no matter how prepared they think they are to it.”

Felix stared intently at the ground, refusing to look at Dimitri. When he finished, he turned around and left without a word, which was both cruel and merciful for someone like Felix. Dimitri seemed to think something similar, because he didn’t comment a single thing and moved towards the reception hall.

Claude hurried to get down from the roof, careful not to slip on his climb. He had gone up there to breath a little more easily after a flight with Iris, knowing well no one else moved through the roofs at that hour of the day, when he had seen the Blue Lions arrive.

He got down as fast as he could and, when he hit the floor, he turned to find Dimitri looking at him a few steps in front of him, amused.

“Claude, what in the world were you doing on the roof?” He asked, trying to hide his smile behind his hand unsuccessfully.

“When did you notice?” Asked Claude in return.

“When we arrived. I thought I saw a shadow on the roof. I wasn’t sure, but I caught a flash of yellow during my conversation with Felix so I figured it was you.”

Claude didn’t know if he should be embarrassed or afraid. The fact that he was noticed from the very beginning didn’t sit quite well to his pride, but it didn’t sit quite as bad as he would have expected normally. That wasn’t right.

“Well, well my prince, are you that aware of my presence that you search for me in such places?” He said, teasingly. A small blush crept on Dimitri’s face. Making him blush was so easy, but he didn’t get tired of it.

“Of course I’m aware of you, you are my friend!” He exclaimed. Claude’s laugh stopped immediately as he looked at him in disbelief, knowing a blush was creeping on his own face now. Damn him. “Anyways, your outfit is way too bright, it’s obvious I would notice!”

His voice still sounded strained but Claude didn’t know if he should answer to his accusation or remain quiet to not dig a hole for himself bigger than the one he was already in. In the end, his mouth decided before his brain could really interfere.

“You can always take it off from me if you dislike it.”

When he said that, Dimitri’s blush increased tenfold, transforming his face in the best impersonation a human could make of a tomato. Meanwhile Claude was so stunned by his own words he was paralyzed, wishing the Goddess would just kill him right that instant and end his suffering.

“Claude!” Responded an anguished Dimitri, who was so nervous he didn’t seem to know what to do with his own hands.

“Okay, well, I guess we both had a long day, my, I’m so tired, we should both go our ways now, bye.” Claude fumbled through his speech before moving forward towards the reception hall when Dimitri’s hand moved to stop him grabbing him by the arm and making him turn towards him. He had heard rumors, but Dimitri really was strong. Or maybe Claude was just weak.

“Are we still meeting tonight?” He asked tentatively. “You still owe me another lesson.”

They hadn’t really planned to meet that night, but he didn’t really want to leave Dimitri hanging, specially with the abandoned puppy face he was having at the moment, so Claude nodded. That produced a small smile on the prince’s face that Claude looked at for a couple of seconds before he moved in the direction he first intended to, towards the stairs that lead to the second floor and to Seteth’s office. That smile really was going to be the end of him.

But, as he was climbing the stairs towards a surely not productive stalking session he heard familiar voices.

“Your brother made his choice, but that doesn’t define you, nor it defines what you must do in the future because of it. You are your own person, a good person at that.” Byleth’s voice, thought quiet, carried away through the hall and reached Claude, who stopped where he was to listen carefully.

“This lance is a tool, something you can use to open a path for yourself or your classmates or your views.” He could hear a rattling sound, like the sound of bones moving against each other. “But it is not something you have to bear and, if for a second you feel like that towards it, I will gladly take it and hide it forever. No one will know, your family doesn’t have to know, I don’t care if they know, I will do it. What happened today must never define you. You make your own path.”

Byleth finished and then there was silence, followed by the sound of shuffling as someone stood.

“Thank you Teach, really. I will think about this.” Said what Claude identified as Sylvain’s voice. It was so small and weak that, for a moment, he couldn’t identify it, but it could only be him. Which meant…

He couldn’t finish that though because, when he realised, Sylvain was already in front of him. He looked terrible, his face pale and serious, but he looked surprised to see Claude there. But Claude was paralysed for other reasons.

Sylvain was carrying what could only be the infamous Lance of Ruin. The dim light that came from the pointy top of the weapon could lead anyone to believe that this wasn’t actually a deadly artifact, but Claude had heard about the power of the Sword of the Creator Teach carried and knew better. The bone-like points seemed to pulse like they were alive somehow. But the fact that Sylvain had that thing only meant one thing. Their mission was successful.

While Claude was lost in his head Sylvain started moving forward. That awoke him, and made him catch his shoulder. He wasn’t sure what he would say. It wasn’t like he had become close to Sylvain, though the definitely talked more since he started hanging out with Dimitri. But he knew he would regret it if he said nothing. He wanted to help, whatever that meant.

“Sorry.” He began, aware of how awkward it was that he had just been spotted listening in on such a personal conversation. “I didn’t want to eavesdrop; I know I’ve got no right to your story. But that thing” He pointed at the lance, half amazed half terrified at the sight of it. “is not some instrument from the Goddess built for the worthy. It is something way more complex and way more dangerous than that. And your brother shouldn’t have had to go through the thing he went through because he couldn’t wield it. I’m sorry.”

Claude was aware of how much crest dictate the course of Fodlan’s history, how families were thorn apart and brothers killed each other to climb the social ladder higher and higher, all under the eyes of the Church of Seiros, that encouraged that behaviour in a quest to keep crests from disappearing.

But that was wrong, wrong in so many ways Claude could not begin to explain it. He had learned that Miklan had been banished because he didn’t have a crest (though why house Gautier had waited so long to banish him if that was their reason still sounded suspicious to him). But he knew for a fact that he didn’t deserve to be turned into a villain, not under a system that pushed him to become one. He didn’t know the full story, but he was sure Miklan wasn’t to blame for all that had happened that day.

Sylvain turned his head slightly to look at him, his eyes turning a bit brighter and an almost smile carefully blooming. 

“Thank you Claude.”

With that, Claude offered him a side smile and let him go, watching him climb down the stairs slowly but surely. He turned then to reach the second floor just to find Byleth on a corner, observing him. She was so still Claude could have almost confused her with an statue until she moved to approach him, almost giving him a heart attack.

“Goddess Teach, you should speak before approaching someone.”

“Claude.” She said, completely ignoring what Claude said. “I recommend you to leave the thing you were going to do for another time.”

Confusion filled him. She couldn’t really know what he was going to do. Right?

“And what is what I was going to do?”

“Keep stalking Seteth like you’ve been doing the whole moon.”

Okay, that one hit hard. Claude had counted on the fact that Teach would have more important things to do other than paying attention to what, say, two of the house leaders were doing on a nearly constant basis for the last weeks. Now that he thought about it, he should have seen this coming.

“Well, you got me. But why should I stop now? I figure you’ve known for a while and said nothing. Why speak up now?”

He was genuinely curious but, as always, he could not read much from Teach’s face.

“It’s not the right time.” She got closer then, her voice quieter. “Wait a week. You’ll get a better opportunity soon. But, for now, leave Seteth alone.”

Claude wanted to ask so many questions, but Teach had closed herself off. It was a weird request, but, as with everything she asked of any students, he was always compelled to do as she said, like some strange instinct under the skin. So, without saying anything, he rose his arms in the air in defeat and return from where he came from.

He directly walked to Dimitri’s room their usual meeting spot (if only because Claude’s own room looked like an stampede had just occurred). He knocked, to be instantly surprised to have to look up to the person that opened the door.

Dedue looked at him from his impressive height, his expression as serious as always but not moving an inch to let him through.

“Hey Dedue! I was wondering if I could speak to His Highness for a moment. We kind of had an arrangement.”

He looked at him and nodded slightly before leaving him space to come inside, but not taking his eyes off him for even a second. Talking about intimidating.

Dimitri was seating on the bed but when he saw Claude come through he got up quickly, startled.

“Claude! I didn’t expect you until much later. Is everything alright?”

“Yes, all good. I just wanted to talk about that issue we brought up the other day?” He wasn’t really sure how much he could say with Dedue in the room.

“If it’s about the Church’s records Dedue knows everything about it. I told him everything a while ago.”

Okay, that he didn’t expect. Seeing how against Dimitri was to speak about the issue, Claude was surprised he had told anyone willingly. But he was even more surprised he had told Dedue who, though he was loyal to the core, didn’t look like someone who wouldn’t frown upon any kind of deviation from the rules. But he was also kind jealous that he had told him everything willingly, though that was just his irrational brain talking.

“Well, then I have something to tell His Highness…”

“Please Claude, I told you several times, don’t call me that. I thought we were over this.”

Was he pouting? He was! Okay, Claude, control yourself.

“Of course my prince, just a slip.” He watched him blush again and he swore he heard a small laugh coming from Dedue’s general vicinity. “Anyways. I was going to do as we planned when I found Teach and Sylvain next to the reception hall.”

That got a strange look to cross between Dimitri and Dedue, obviously not wanting to say to much on that issue. Fair, but he would get his answers some other way. He was getting kind of tired of so many questions.

“We talked a bit, but when Sylvain left Teach came and told me to stop following Seteth until next moon.”

“And why is that?”

Suddenly the aura around Dimitri turned restless, anxious. Claude swallowed hard, confused by the radical change in attitude.

“We have to wait. She is onto us, she knows we’ve been waiting to get into Seteth’s office for weeks now. No idea why she said nothing, but she seemed very convinced it wasn’t a good idea. She was very specific to wait until next month.”

The silence that followed was tense, waiting mainly for Dimitri’s answer. Claude knew there was a very important reason why Dimitri was looking for those documents, but he hadn’t told him anything about it, apart that they were really important and he desperately needed to see them. In the end, it was Dedue who broke through the silence.

“I believe Your Highness should listen to the Professor. She never gives unnecessary advice and she usually makes the right calls.”

Dimitri looked at him intently and then he turned his eyes towards his feet. He stayed like that for a few seconds, Claude anxiously waiting for a reply that would end all that tension. Then he exhaled, defeated.

“Alright. We’ll wait.”

Though the tension was broken the good mood with which Claude had arrived had been soured by Dimitri’s outburst. So he decided to leave his many questions for another time.

“Okay, so, it has been a long day for you two I guess, so I should leave you to rest up.” He walked towards the door.

“Wait!” Exclaimed Dimitri, suddenly seeming much more like the man that he was before that awful day had started. Claude still couldn’t get used to his mood swings. “I am terribly sorry for my behaviour now. I didn’t mean to cause you any discomfort. It has been, as you have said, a very long day.”

Claude stopped, not hesitant. He didn’t want to pry. But he needed to pry. There was too much going on not to. But, fortunately, he didn’t have to ask.

“I believe we owe you an explanation of somethings that happened today that had us a bit…on edge.” Began Dedue, Goddess bless him. Claude was right to have pinned him as a good guy.

“The mission to recover the Lance of Ruin didn’t go as we expected.” Said Dimitri. At Claude’s very clearly interested face, he continued. “We arrived at the tower and we fought Miklan’s band. When we arrived to Miklan himself Sylvain and him dueled. But when he was on the ground…” He stopped, hesitating to continue. “the lance took over his body. He transformed into a demonic beast right before our eyes.”

Claude didn’t know what he was expecting, but that was not it. _How come one question answered leads to other ten?_ he thought.

“How did that happen? Was it because he didn’t have a crest? How long did he have the Lance of Ruin for? How were its powers to be able to turn him into something like that?” He took a second to breath, his head hurting from all the new ideas that were suddenly popping into his mind. “Is that what happens to people without crests who use relics?”

Dimitri shook his head, clearly not having any answers to give, while Dedue just stood there looking solemnly at the ground.

“We don’t really know how it all happened.” Said Dedue. “At the moment, getting Sylvain to abandon the battle seemed like the most logical idea. The mechanics behind what had happened weren’t wo important to us.”

On the one hand, Claude felt awful not realising Sylvain’s brother was the person that had transformed into a giant monster and his friends would be more worried about helping him than researching about the effects of crests on the body. But, on the other hand, he really wished he had been there to see for himself what had really happened.

Once more, he turned to leave.

“Well, that gave me a whole lot to think about tonight.” He said jokingly. He really should control himself because Dimitri looked somewhat guilty, so he moved swiftly to reassure him. “Don’t worry Dimitri, it’s not like it doesn’t happen to me from time to time. I’ll get through it. Though you may have to look for me in the library at night from now on, because I’ve got a whole lot of new things to research on now.”

He smiled, trying to erase with it the still a bit uneasy look on Dimitri’s face. That seemed to work, because he cleared his throat, exchanged a look with Dedue, and spoke.

“Then I guess I should bid you goodnight Claude. If you want any company researching, tell me. It’s the least I could do with all the help you’ve given me.”

“For you anything Your Princeliness.” He said, trying to get a last blush from Dimitri tonight. “But thank you. I’ll keep that in mind.”

He left the room then, and walked towards his room, very much aware he would not sleep a wink all night. The was much to research. But nothing that a cup of hi stash of coffee and a few sleepless nights couldn’t solve. He hoped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this chapter gave me quite a few headaches, so I can't say for certain if it turned out alright. I was really hoping that this one could be the last one before entering into a faster pace, but I'm not sure.  
> Again, I'm sorry for my irregular schedule. I'm trying to make the chapters reasonably long so it takes me a while to have the time to finish them.  
> Anyways, hope you liked it <3


	12. Answers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, this took way more to write than I had expected.   
> In the beginning I wanted to write something kind of short, trying to introduce the things that are really changing from canon from now on. But then this happened. Anyways.  
> Sorry for the delay. I'm trying to update on fridays of saturdays but it really was impossible for me this time. I hope that, at least, the wait can be worth it. Enjoy!

Dorothea was walking down the corridor when it happened. It had been a stressful week. Flayn’s disappearance had affected everyone in Garreg Mach, specially Seteth who, since then, barely left Rhea’s side, only to search for Flayn anywhere he could think of. The sight had been heartbreaking, pushing everyone to look harder, investigate further, just to make that look leave Seteth’s eyes.

All week Dorothea had been rallying up all the rumors she could to see if she could be of use in the search, but it was all for nothing. Until that night.

She was going back to her room after a night of searching around the tunnels that run under Garreg Mach (sometimes she swears she could hear a booming voice coming from the tunnels, together with the sound of footsteps but, whenever she pushed against fear to investigate it, she found nothing) when the sound of someone running in her direction alerted her. She blended in with the shadows, trying to go unnoticed.

Then, Professor Manuela bolted from a corner, her long legs pushing her forward towards the teacher’s dormitories. Dorothea was going to call her, but a detail caught her attention. She swore on the professor’s hand was a white mask exactly like the one Professor Jeritza always wore. All the possibilities that entailed stopped Dorothea from saying anything, making her loose her chance to call out to her teacher.

In the beginning she thought nothing of it. She guessed Manuela was playing some kind of trick on the mysterious teacher and would tell her all about it the next day, so she resumed her walk to her room.

But, the next day, Manuela was nowhere to be found. Everyone thought she was just suffering from a particularly nasty hangover (it wouldn’t be the first time she didn’t give her class for that reason). But she didn’t seem to be anywhere around all afternoon either. And that was when Dorothea began to worry.

At first she thought of asking Professor Hanneman. Even though Manuela always complained about him, Dorothea knew for a fact that the spent a considerate amount of time together and were actually quite fond of each other. But, when even he didn’t seem to know anything about the whereabouts of the ex-diva, Dorothea began to panic. And her distress turned so obvious that the other Black Eagles began to worry as well. Particularly a certain princess.

“Dorothea.” She called, her voice betraying her worry. Dorothea had been lurking around the reception hall for a while, biting her nails seating on a bench and wondering what she should do, where to start looking. “You have not been well. Is it because of Professor Manuela?”

Dorothea was tempted to lie, saying it was only the thing with Flayn, that it was stressing her out, like all of them. After their encounter in the greenhouse Petra had tried to approach her on numerous occasions, but she had kept her distance. Everytime she saw her now, she remembered the pale moonlight, the changing colours of the flower reflecting on Petra’s otherwise shadowed face, giving her the air of a spirit like the one of her legend.

And it was that image, the openness in the other’s eyes, how sincere and kind she was, that made Dorothea feel vulnerable, like she would loose control any second and make a huge mistake. And she could afford that.

The death of Miklan Gautier and the effect it had on the Blue Lions, with whom she had been growing closer to, specially Sylvain and Ingrid, who she usually joined for tea and to complain about their house’s problem children, gave Dorothea an excuse to spend more time among the Blue Lions (who, in all honesty, seemed to need all the support they could get after that, specially Sylvain, who she hadn’t seen surrounded by people in a while, which was a rarity in itself). The came Flayn’s disappearance, which caused every single person in the monastery to devote any spare time to find clues on the girl’s whereabouts, and had given Dorothea more time to collect her thoughts.

But Manuela vanishing was not something she could handle by herself, with all that was happening at the moment. So Dorothea was weak, tired, anxious and desperate to drop some of the weight that had been established on her chest for several weeks now.

“Yes…and no.” She hesitated. The guilt on her chest was growing bigger every minute and she didn’t think she could really handle it for much longer. “I saw Manuela. Before.”

Petra’s eyes widened, but she said nothing waiting for her to continue. Dorothea opened her mouth but closed it again when she saw the Professor coming her way. At her reaction, Petra turned to see who was coming, a shadow crossing her face that Dorothea didn’t know how to interpret. It wasn’t the she didn’t trust Professor Byleth, she actually did, and quite a lot. That was why she didn’t want her to know about what she had seen. She didn’t want her to know she could have saved someone but she did nothing.

“Good morning Dorothea, Petra.” She greeted, her monotone voice not giving anything away. She had spent most of the time that week leading search teams to explore the tunnels and attending meetings with Lady Rhea and Seteth, trying to keep the latter from running around the monastery and turning the thing upside down. “I’ve been meaning to ask you, have you seen anything suspicious around the monastery since Flayn’s disappearance? Any information could be key to find her as soon as possible.”

Dorothea felt herself tense slightly at the question, doubt drowning her. The Professor had already interrogated everyone when everything had started. But the issue with Manuela could not be related. Right?

Maybe she hadn’t been as subtle as she thought, because Petra’s hand moved fast to grasp hers over the table. Dorothea, startled, moved her eyes to Petra, who was looking at her with concern and something akin to protectiveness in them. She could feel the roughness of her hand on hers, product of a long life fighting, defending and surviving. The idea of her near, protecting her, worked like a balm on Dorothea’s insecurity.

“I-I, the other night, I saw Professor Manuela running.” The Professor’s expression didn’t change, but she said nothing, so she continued. “It was late, and she was running towards the teacher’s dormitories. She… she was holding a mask on her hand. It looked similar to the one Professor Jeritza usually wears.”

Byleth looked at her and nodded, moving to leave.

“Wait!” Shouted Dorothea, surprising both the Professor and herself. “Does…does this have anything to do with Flayn? Is Professor Manuela okay?”

Professor Byleth seemed to ponder if she should answer her or not. Something in her heart told her she already knew the answer, but, for some reason, she wanted to hear it from her. She had been the one to tell her to go to the greenhouse that day, as if she knew what would happen if she went there. She always seemed to be one step ahead of them, like she knew what was going to happen. It made her reassurance, for Dorothea, a guarantee. And a rope in the sea.

“We can’t know yet.” She said, cautious. “But it will probably lead us where we need to be. Thank you Dorothea.”

And with that she left, leaving both women watching her back and saying nothing. After a moment, they seemed to wake up from their dreams and Petra turned to look at her again, kindness radiating from every pore.

“Let us go eat. That will be very inspirational for you.”

She took her hand, which she had never stopped holding to begin with, and moved to get her to get up, dragging her towards the dining hall, ignoring Dorothea’s protests and how flustered she was.

In her hastiness, Petra moved them along the crowd and made Dorothea crush against someone hard, almost making both stumble. Suddenly the embodiment of grumpiness was looking at her with a very displeased look. So Dorothea put on her sweetest smile and prepared to deal with the blows.

“Can’t you look where you are going? Some of us don’t like to be pushed around.”

She moved to answer but someone intervened.

“We were not meaning to hurt anyone Felix. Please, accept my apologies.” With that, Petra bowed, causing Dorothea’s eyes to widen impossibly and Felix to remain quiet, probably stunned to silence.

Dorothea knew for a fact that Petra and Felix had friendly training sessions, being both some of the most skilled with a sword among the students. She had frequently heard Petra praise Felix’s ability with a sword (Dorothea wouldn’t dare deny it, on the private lessons Felix had taught her for a while and she could feel the pain of that particular lesson) and even Felix commented Petra was “passable”, which actually meant, according to Sylvain, that she was incredibly amazing and Felix was aching to spar again with her. But she didn’t think Felix was ready mentally to deal with someone as earnest as Petra.

Once he recovered, he scoffed, and he moved to walk away from both women when an arm found its way around his shoulders, seemingly startling him.

“Hi ladies, is this grumpy creature bothering you?”

Sylvain smiled at all of them from his height. His smiles, Dorothea had noticed, were never particularly honest, always a little bit of deceit behind them, very much like the ones someone like Claude gave the world, or even the ones she herself had been pushed to wear on a daily basis. But at the moment, seeing him so relaxed, his arm firmly secured around Felix’s shoulders, it seemed to shine a bit brighter, a bit truer.

That is, until Felix moved away from him, pushing his arm off him, almost drawing a line in the air that separated both of them. It broke Dorothea’s heart seeing how Sylvain lost that light all of a sudden, turning back to that strange version of himself he had transformed into since the death of his brother.

“There is no need to worry.” Said Petra, entirely oblivious to the changes in the atmosphere around them and cutting through the tension just like that. “Professor Byleth was asking questions to everyone before and we were in agreement to eat after.”

Sylvain directed her a kind smile. Felix decided to deepen his scowl.

“Is she still asking questions? It’s not like what I said would lead to anything.”

They all turned to him, eyes questioning, which rapidly prompted Felix to cross his arms and take a defensive stance, making it clear that not a single word would come out of his lips after those looks.

“Did anything happen?” Thankfully, they could always count on Sylvain prying open Felix’s prickly exterior to reveal his slightly less prickly interior and get a single answer out of him. Though not without a prolonged, intense glare directed towards his childhood friend, who seemed entirely unaffected. That both of them acted oblivious to how the behaved with each other was still a mystery to Dorothea, but that was a tough one, one she would stick her nose in another time.

With a way more dramatic sigh that the question called for, Felix spoke.

“I just commented about Jeritza. His swordplay was off this past few days. More reckless.” He said it matter-of-factly, like anyone would have noticed a small change in a professional’s swordsmanship like it was nothing. But it made Dorothea think.

“Other than that, do you know if Professor Jeritza has behaved weirdly?” She asked, raising the childhood friend’s eyebrows and lighting up Petra’s eyes with understanding and worry. “Have you actually seen him this past few days?”

They all looked at each other, not saying anything. This may be more serious than anyone had anticipated.

* * *

Claude walked carefully along the corridors of the second floor, Dimitri just behind him looming over him like a shadow. The events of that week had shaken the monastery to its core, Lady Rhea mobilizing every single able person to search for Flayn in the monastery and the lands surrounding it. There had been no leads that indicated that the kidnapper had left the premises, but the possibility he or she had escaped through the tunnels was still there.

Over the week, him and Dimitri had been leading expeditions all around the monastery, searching for any clues that could lead to Flayn’s whereabouts. They could have gone together, but Teach had intervened when she heard that Dimitri was searching the tunnels, very aware that, if that was the case, he would be more concentrated in exploring every inch of the labyrinth under the monastery rather than actually searching seriously. Good call, but that didn’t make it any easier for Claude, who had to lead troops towards the east, seeing if anyone suspicious was attempting to cross towards alliance territory.

After a week of nothing, both him and Dimitri had gone back to actually have time for themselves, and they noticed something. Through their through stalking of Seteth, they had become quite aware of his presence whenever he was wondering around, commanding the Knights or talking to church officials and nobles all around. But, at the moment, he was nowhere to be found.

Dimitri run to Dedue, who had been on the surface for longer periods of time than any of them, to see if he could give them some insight of the situation. He was aiding the cooks, as it was his turn on the day, and when he was available the sweet essence of spices drifted to Claude’s nose, making him loose track of where he was for a second.

“Seteth has not been around much this week.” Said Dedue, ever the helpful person. “The cooks have not seen him around much. I offered to bring food to his chambers, but the head cook doesn’t trust me with a high official’s food.”

The anger shimmered just beneath Claude’s skin at the knowledge of that, already plotting a few colourful ways in which to make that person’s life a bit miserable, but Dimitri didn’t let him comment on them.

“Do you know where he spends his time now? Does he remain in his office?” His voice sounded cold, which made Claude frown, but Dedue acted as if he didn’t notice before answering.

“He spends his time around Lady Rhea’s office. He doesn’t really leave her side much, at her wish.”

Dimitri nodded and turned to leave, his steps leading him to the central building. Claude smiled at Dedue, thankful, and moved to catch up with the prince.

It was strange that he had been so impolite to Dedue, but it was true that, whenever the issue of the Church’s documents was brought up, he acted like a completely different person. He was colder. Like he wasn’t the same person.

They climbed the stairs, careful to not raise the attention of anyone that could be around. Fortunately, the Knights seemed to have vacated the floor, concentrating the search efforts further down. Claude took the initiative, moving silently towards the office with Dimitri, whose presence was almost impossible to conceal, close behind.

They moved to the door and found it unlocked. Claude was surprised of that, not trusting how happy it was being. He made Dimitri walk behind him as they moved inside, closing the door behind them.

He instructed the prince to remain still as he examined the room. In his research he had learned about security seals, ones that could be used to hear and see people from far away as well as to alert the owner of some piece of property that someone was entering a certain area. He was not able to cast such sigils (despite his best efforts, magic was not his strong suit), but he could easily identify and disable them if he came across them. He had also researched how to open locking seals, just in case, but he hoped that they wouldn’t need to come to that, as he was pretty green on that subject.

The first thing he noticed as they came inside was the thick layer of dust that covered everything. Seteth had not spent much time in the room. Claude took a moment to feel bad about what they were doing. Seteth was in a very vulnerable state at the moment, Flayn’s disappearance punching a hole in his life Claude couldn’t dare imagine how painful it was.

But Dimitri seemed pretty certain there was some important information in those documents that he needed to know, desperately now. Claude had had enough of the mysteries after coming this far.

“I know you don’t want to talk about it.” He began, aware Dimitri could refuse him any second but not willing to back down. “But I need to know what you are looking for. What you hope to find out here.” Dimitri seemed at the verge of denying him once again. “Please Dimitri.”

He knew he wasn’t being entirely fair, but he wasn’t in the mood to care. Too much had happened over the past weeks and Dimitri, even though Claude had helped him in everything he could, they had spent countless nights together planning, talking, laughing, he didn’t tell him anything. That, together with the feeling that they were taking advantage of Seteth’s personal tragedy, he didn’t care some emotional manipulation.

It seemed to work, because Dimitri’s expression was softer, less anxious and more present that it was a second ago. He took a deep breath.

“The Tragedy of Duscur.” He said, the intensity of the words spoken speaking more than his expression at the moment, making Claude drink out of every word. “It wasn’t the people of Duscur who killed my family, Glenn, and all the royal knights. I’ve been investigating for a long time, seeing every out of place vent that took place the years before. I could only really think of my step-mother’s arrival.”

“Wait, step-mother?” Asked Claude, confused.

“Yes, step-mother. My biological mother died during the plague. My step-mother was a noble from the Empire.” His eyes drifted far away for a second before coming back to rest on the floor, not daring looking up at Claude.

“Many things changed after the Tragedy. I…” He hesitated. He looked up at Claude, his bright blue eyes piercing and anxious until they rested on Claude’s eyes, when they seemed to still. “I want to see what nobles brought down their donations to the Church since the Tragedy, to see if my hunch that this has something to do with the Church is correct.”

“Why do you think it has something to do with the Church?” Claude didn’t really know how to process all the new information coming at him, but he needed to make sense of it all. If not for himself for Dimitri’s sake.

“Everything that’s been happening since then, the rebellion of the Western Church, the instability of the three territories of Fodlan, united only through the Church. The Church is the only entity unchanged in all this madness. And I want to know who could be trying to change that.”

The first thought that came to Claude’s mind was that he had clearly underestimated Dimitri. For years, he had been following the lead of a continent-wide conspiracy that had killed his family and closest confidants, paying attention to every detail that could lead him to answers.

And that’s when Claude decided that he would help him. Not out of curiosity and the weird pull Dimitri had on him, but out of respect and sincere worry. Because his gut was telling him that this was even bigger than both of them could imagine. And his gut was usually right.

He directed his eyes towards him then, making sure no masks were between them at the moment. If Dimitri could be brave and honest, he needed to respond in kind right?

“This may be bigger than we can handle you know?” Dimitri didn’t say anything, like he hadn’t really considered there was a limit to what he could do. Claude smiled. “Guess two are better than one right? Let’s see what we can find.”

Dimitri returned his smile then, almost shy, and moved forward before remembering what they were doing and that Claude was checking the area, deciding to remain in his place while Claude checked every corner, every hole where a sigil could have been placed.

He found a few next to the desk, on the bookcase, and on the corners of the room. He moved swiftly, making sure to disable them temporarily with a formula he had been working on that was meant to cut of the flow of magic for a short period of time, making it ineffective until it dried up, when it began to work again. Once he was done, he signaled Dimitri to move forward and they began searching.

Most of the documents they found were on battle tactics, history, and the administration of the Church’s matters, such as the Knight’s of Seiros’ missions and the pilgrimage visits the cathedral had received and what they should do about it.

It was Dimitri who found the old records, stuck at the end of a drawer. They were plenty, but both moved to work their way through as fast as possible, as they weren’t sure if anyone would appear looking for Seteth and would end up finding them.

In his reading, Claude’s attention moved towards the ludicrous amounts of money the lords of both the Alliance and the Kingdom gave to the Church on a monthly basis, with Count Gloucester being the one who donated the most until a year ago, reducing his expense but not so significantly that it was clearly suspicious.

Meanwhile, every noble house from the Kingdom donated during a long period of time important sums, even during the turmoil that the assassination of King Lambert left behind, though it was apparent that the money they could provide was diminishing, as every noble house seemed to be reducing their donations at the same time, which was quite different from the situation Claude saw on the Alliance, where, even though his grandfather or house Goneril didn’t really donate much there were important sums coming from other nobles.

But the true interesting thing occurred in the Empire. The Adrestian Empire was known for having a long and complicated relationship with the Church of Seiros, being present before and after its creation and being directly ruled spiritually from the central branch, amplifying its control on the territory. But, even though its influence may be greater than in other territories, the donations to the Church were significantly lower than they used to be, specially from Lord Arundel, current regent of the Empire. He had been a very devout man for a long time, if his large donations were anything to go by, but those stopped quite suddenly a few years before the Tragedy of Duscur.

“Dimitri, do you know Lord Arundel?”

Dimitri turned sharply, taking the papers from his hands to check what he had found. He seemed slightly more stable that he usually acted when they were dealing with this matter, but he still was way more aggressive than the usual Dimitri. Claude just hoped that, after learning what he came to find, he would calm down.

Oh, how wrong he was.

Dimitri’s eyes widened as he read, grasping the papers until almost tearing them apart. Out of instinct, Claude extended his hand to grasp Dimitri’s. The other turned to look at him, but his eyes were far away. Claude tightened his hold and tried to pry the document from Dimitri’s hand. It came out way to easily, but Claude didn’t have time to think about that. He took all the papers, left them in the exact place where they found them, and got up, dragging Dimitri to a standing position to and pushing him towards the door. Dimitri followed without complain, but his state of mind was clearly not sound, which worried Claude to no end and prompted him to grasp his hand tighter in an effort to snap him out of it.

He moved to open the door, hearing no one at the other side. But, to his surprise, someone was waiting for them there.

If, at opening the door, he had found Gilbert, or Hanneman, hell, even Teach, he could be prepared. But, who greeted them at the exit, her hair perfectly still and her posture controlled and collected, was the Imperial Princess herself, just after discovering some pretty strange dealings regarding the regent of her territory.

For the record, she didn’t look exactly calm at seeing them. She almost seemed surprised. Suspicious.

Dimitri chose that moment to come back to reality, looking at Edelgard as if he was seeing a ghost.

“El…” He said, his voice infused with a deep sadness that Claude really didn’t know how to interpret. But the princess reacted swiftly.

“Not here. This is not the right place to talk about this. Come.”

She moved towards the stairs without waiting for an answer. Claude looked at Dimitri, thousands of questions swimming in his head. But Dimitri’s eyes never left Edelgard, trapped again in that turbulent sea that was his mind.

They followed her for a while until they entered the Black Eagle’s class. She turned towards them then, leaning against the teacher’s desk. Her eyes scanned both of them, trying to read their innermost thoughts. Claude didn’t want to be outdone, so he began.

“What were you doing outside Seteth’s office Princess?” There wasn’t a single change in her demeanour, completely controlled.

“The Professor suggested that if I waited there today I would find something interesting. And she was right. Care to explain what you were doing there?”

Claude took a moment to process the fact that, once again, Teach seemed to have access to a knowledge apart from the one the rest of them has. She had told him to search Seteth’s office in the moment it would be the most vulnerable, and she had directed Edelgard to find them at the exact moment they would be in such a compromising position. He was about to question her on that when, finally, Dimitri came back to his senses.

“Did you know?” He said, his voice far away and unfeeling punching a hole in Claude’s heart. It was wrong, plain wrong that a person like Dimitri demonstrated such a lack of feeling, no matter the circumstance. But he had little time to dwell on that.

Dimitri was still holding his hand, so he felt his frustration when he spoke, as his grip turned stronger, crushing Claude’s hand. He cried out, pain shooting fast from his fingers, but he bit his tongue to stop any other sound from coming out. The tension of the room was broken, two pairs of eyes turning immediately towards him, one surprised other terrified.

“Claude!” He rapidly dropped his hand, examining his fingers carefully and immediately searching his face for any indication of further pain. For a moment, the pain subsiding, Claude was glad that Dimitri seemed to come back to his senses, at least for a moment. The other, nonetheless, didn’t look thrilled at the situation. “Are you okay?”

The worry in his eyes looked so genuine Claude didn’t know how to react, his heart beating far too fast for his mind to function properly. So he moved to his default mode and put on his usual mask.

“No worries Your Princeliness, I’m stronger than I look.” He winked, taking weight away from the pain his fingers were suffering at the moment. Edelgard still looked at him, but her mask was on again. “Anyways, where were we? Ah, yes, you were going to explain what you want out of this.”

Edelgard looked at him, then at the way calmer Dimitri, and exhaled.

“This is not something that concerns you. I went there just to please the Professor, nothing more.”

“You are hiding something from us El.” Said Dimitri, his voice now more powerful and his presence seemingly filling the room. “What does Lord Arundel have to do with the Tragedy of Duscur.”

It was small, but there was a moment Edelgard’s eyes blew open, surprise and panic reflecting brightly on them before she regained complete control of herself. She faced them, her expression now defiant.

“Where do those accusations come from?” She asked, her voice calm and composed.

Dimitri moved to answer when the sound of steps from outside stopped him, the three of them turning towards the doors. The appeared Petra, her steps coming to a stop before entering the room and seeing all the house leaders together there. She looked at them for a second and then shook her head.

“The Professor is calling. We discovered were Flayn is.”

* * *

At Dorothea’s tale, they all looked at each other and, as one, moved. They went towards the teacher’s dormitories, the place Manuela had been running towards that night. _Please be alive_ , he thought, to himself, _please don’t be another death_.

When they arrived, Professor Byleth was already there, her eyes looking at the fence that separated the dormitories from the rest of the monastery as if it was some kind of puzzle she needed to solve before moving forward.

When she heard them coming she turned, her expressionless face counting them before speaking.

“Petra, run to your class. I need you to find the house leader’s and bring all of them here. Dorothea, Felix, gather anyone you can find, we will need a big force to move forward here. Sylvain, you come with me inside. Get your weapons and meet me here as soon as possible.”

They all moved as one, each of them in a different direction. Sylvain went to pick up a lance and came back as soon as possible. Byleth was waiting there and, when she saw him, she took the Sword of the Creator, its glow illuminating her face with its dim light before she pushed the fence and moved forward, Sylvain closely behind.

They opened the door to Professor Manuela’s room, revealing a chaos of clothes and empty bottles but nothing else. Then they moved towards to Professor Jeritza’s.

The moment they opened the door, the distinctive smell of dust hit them, making Sylvain cough violently. But, when his eyes adapted to the dim light that came through the tiny window and the Professor’s sword, he wanted to throw up.

Manuela was lying down on her stomach, a bit of blood on the floor staining her cape. He moved to examine her and apply the small amount of healing magic he knew about, the anxiety in his brain making it difficult to concentrate on his healing.

After a moment, they both heard a cough coming from Manuela, followed by a slight movement of her fingers. Just after that came the sound of steps, followed by Dorothea, who had brought Mercedes, Annete and Dedue with her, as well as Petra, who came with Dimitri, Claude and Edelgard.

They all looked at the scene before them with apprehension, with Mercedes rapidly taking Sylvain’s place in healing Manuela, with the house leaders taking a few steps forward.

“What happened here?” Asked Claude, his tone serious.

No one could answer him as a particularly loud cough came from Manuela, who suddenly opened her eyes, scanning her surrounding with a dazzled expression.

At that moment came Felix, sword at the ready, followed by Ashe, Marianne and Caspar. Ingrid was just behind them, holding her pegasus and a horse for Sylvain from entering Manuela’s room, that was already crowded.

“He went…that way.” Manuela pointed weakly at a hole on the wall, barely big enough to fit a grow man through it.

Professor Byleth scanned the forces that were present, pondering who would come to investigate the matter.

“Dimitri, I want you to take Manuela to the infirmary. Marianne and Dorothea, you go with him and make sure you apply as much healing magic as you can. Edelgard, you go with them, make sure they find no trouble in their way.”

The four mentioned nodded, Dimitri taking Manuela in his arms with ease while Marianne and Dorothea applied their magic, Edelgard leading the way, sparing a last glance towards Byleth, that seemingly was returned but revealed nothing to Sylvain. Once the others left, the Professor turned to the rest of them.

“Petra, you will remain here. Make sure no one comes near the entrance.” The girl nodded, her hand on the pommel of her sword and a sureness to her stance. “The rest, with me. Ready yourselves for battle.”

And, with one last look at them, she entered the hole, followed by the rest, and the darkness engulfed them.


	13. Light

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, I'm keeping up! I can't believe it!  
> This chapter is a mess and I really don't know if I'm comveying what I want actually, but I just had so much fun writing it somehow. It was a strange feeling (specially because I'm not completely happy with the result).  
> Anyways, I just hope you enjoy this one and thank you so much for your comments, they bright up my day.

It took a while for Sylvain’s eyes to adapt to the darkness of the tunnel, the only thing illuminating their way the Professor’s sword and Annette and Mercedes’ magic.

After what seemed like a lifetime descending to the center of the Earth the tunnel opened up, leaving more space for each one to spread around. It also significantly calmed Sylvain’s horse as well as Ingrid’s pegasus, way more used to open spaces than some catacombs. But the cavern was gradually opening up, both in height and sideways. Lit torches started appearing evenly on the walls, somehow making the whole cavern look way creepier that it had been illuminated by the Sword of the Creator’s dim light.

All of them seemed highly alert, with Teach leading the way with Claude (who looked at every wall and crevice as if it was some kind of gigantic puzzle he could solve if he gathered enough pieces) and followed right behind by Annette, Caspar and Ashe, the three of them holding gigantic axes that caused a moment of cognitive dissonance for Sylvain’s mind at the incongruence between their sizes and the size of the weapon. He and Felix were behind them spread out to check no attack came from the crevices on the walls, from where they sometimes felt sounds coming through (though that was just his imagination surely). Ingrid and Dedue closed the march, covering just in case someone passed through Petra at the entrance (which he doubted, but it didn’t hurt to be careful.

Finally, they crossed a stone arch that lead to obviously human-built construction of corridors, enemies crawling in every corner. All of them readied their weapons at Byleth’s signal. But then they heard a familiar laugh, one that they had only heard once but that was enough to ingrain itself into their very souls.

“What the hell was that?” Asked Caspar, clearly shaken and gripping his axe tighter but not showing any signs of backing down.

“The Death Night…” Said Mercedes, her voice barely more than a whisper.

“Could he be the one that did that to Professor Manuela?” Annette, always cheerful, her hands were glowing now in a clear sign she was ready to fight.

“Not only that.” Intervened Ashe. “He is probably the one that kidnapped Flayn.”

“So Professor Jeritza eh…” Said Claude, in a tone as casual as anyone in this situation could summon, bring about what everyone was thinking but no one was saying.

That, for moons, they had a spy among them, a kidnapper, and a murderer.

Byleth gave the order and divided them, with Claude, Ashe and Dedue going through the teleportation device and cover that side of the battle field while the rest of them went the other way.

Sylvain pushed forward with Ingrid, taking down a mage and a brigand each while the rest of the group made work with the rest of them, Caspar at the front swinging his axe with a strength and agility he hadn’t when he began taking lessons with Edelgard. He could tell, he had almost taken Ashe out for good with a misplace hit if it weren’t for the other’s fast reflexes. He had not pick up an axe for a week after that, Edelgard’s orders.

They pushed forward, battling with the enemy forces fiercely. They were not giving them a break, Mercedes pushing her healing magic so far that Annette had to use her own on several occasions for her to save energy for the final battle. At one point, they encountered another teleporting portal and, for a second, wondered it they should use it.

“I’ll go.” Said Felix, already running towards it.

Sylvain’s head turned sharply at hearing this, which almost gained him getting stabbed if it weren’t for Teach’s intervention. When he looked back, Felix was already gone, and a knot of anxiety settled in Sylvain’s heart the moment he disappeared from his sight. Ingrid scanned the terrain, searching for the purplish light of teleportation magic. Even from the ground, Sylvain could see her face turn white.

“He’s three to one. He’s surrounded.”

His heart dropped. No. That was not possible. At the moment only he had heard what Ingrid had said, the rest of the group having pushed forward while they cleaned up the terrain. And, at that moment, the only thought that came to his mind was that, no matter what, he had to go to Felix.

He will not lose him.

* * *

Claude pushed forward, his arc at the ready. He had began going first, but after a close call with and enemy where he found the bad way that his arrows did next to nothing, Dedue and Ashe took over, their axes making quick work of the enemy.

The rest of the way Dedue lead the way while Claude and Ashe defended him with long distance shots. It was slow work, arrows flying towards them from every direction and almost hitting their mark more than once.

Claude discovered that Ashe was a pretty good at opening things that were supposed to stay closed (information he stored to check out at another time) and when Dedue hit an enemy with his axe, he swore the ground trembled a bit, similar to when Hilda attacked seriously, and that was saying something.

After taking down everyone that came their way they saw a purple flash of light from the adjacent room, which Claude immediately identified as teleportation magic. Ashe was going forward to open the door when, looking at the roof, Dedue pointed in the direction the other group was supposed to be.

When him and Dedue looked in that direction, they identified the white wings of Ingrid’s pegasus, which was moving in a rather frantic manner, as if its rider wanted to move in one direction but the animal wasn’t having it. Claude was confused for a moment at seeing this. Ingrid was one of the best riders in the Officer’s Academy, no doubt about it, but it was weird that there was such hesitation in her flight.

“Get ready.” He said to Ashe and Dedue, already reading an arrow. “We will have company at the other side.”

The other two nodded. When Ashe finally got the door to open Claude moved forward first.

At the other side, several cavaliers were moving in the same direction, attacking a particular individual who, even though it had to fend of several enemies at once, seemed to be causing more damage that the others expected, which augmented their frustration and overall aggressiveness. At the sight, Claude didn’t doubt shooting a few arrows with Ashe while Dedue pushed forward, the enemies taking notice of them and turning to attack.

Claude took down two of them and injured another, who was finished by Ashe while Dedue did quick work of the rest, with some help of their previous target.

Everyone knew that Felix was an expert swordsman, but Claude wasn’t sure he had really grasped just how strong he was. His speed was only on par with the strength of his attacks which, together with the input of his crest, which flared illuminating the dark cavern, made him a certainly terrifying enemy. Claude really didn’t want to get on his bad side now.

But, once they were done with the cavaliers, Felix fell to one knee, his breath heavy. The other three approached him, concerned.

On closer examination, Claude saw that his clothes were torn in many places, tainted darker where the lances had pierced skin. There was a pretty bad lash just above his eyebrow and blood was dripping pretty badly from his side. They all looked at him concerned, with Dedue approaching him to examine the wound before they planned their next move. But, at seeing Dedue coming near him, he recoiled, pushing himself to a standing position as if nothing happened.

“I’m fine. Let’s go.”

He started to move forward when the purple light appeared again. Everyone aimed their weapons at the figure the emerged from the light but immediately lowered them when the shape of a familiar redhead on a horse appeared.

“Felix!” Sylvain jumped from his horse and run towards Felix, cataloguing his injuries with the grimmest expression Claude had ever seen. But the expression suddenly turned harsh when looking that he was still trying to move towards a new portal that could take them to the others. “What the hell do you think you are doing? Do you want to get yourself killed? What were you thinking?”

With every question his tone got higher and Felix’s expression colder.

“I’m fine. This is not over. Let’s go.”

He walked towards the portal, the effort of suppressing his pain evident in his step. It hurt just watching, but Sylvain didn’t take Felix’s comments for long. He moved to him and the tips of his fingers lit up with white magic, surprising every single one of them, most of all Felix. It was nothing grand, not at the degree of something Mercedes or Marianne could do, but it was effective, the flow of blood from Felix’s cuts stopping gradually and his expression less strained.

“When did you learn that?” He asked, his eyes oddly intense.

“Dorothea taught me a bit. She’s a good teacher.”

Felix said nothing, looking for a moment at Sylvain’s hands before pushing forward again, his step lighter this time. The rest soon followed. When Claude passed next to Sylvain, he put a hand on his shoulder and smiled.

“You’re full of surprises aren’t you?”

He moved forward then, the others having already crossed the portal.

When the magic dropped him, disorienting him for a second, he identified immediately the smell of magic hitting flesh and the sound of clashing. When he opened his eyes, he saw the others already engaged in a gruesome battle against dark mages.

Byleth was cutting a path forward for the rest of the group but they weren’t in very good shape. Caspar’s left arm was severely burned by magic, with him only fighting thanks to the effects of vulnerary after vulnerary. Annette’s hands were trembling from overusing her magic, sweat forming on her brow, and she seemed to be considering taking her axe and forgetting magic for a while. Ingrid had discarded at some point her lance and was attacking with a sword, the dirt from the fight sticking to her pegasus like a deep fog. Mercedes seemed to have run out of healing magic a long time ago, her attacks aiming now to end the battle as fast as possible rather than taking care of the rest.

At their arrival, Felix threw himself headfirst into the battle, blocking a blow that was aimed at Ingrid and dispatching his enemy swiftly. Dedue followed, releasing Caspar from his duty as heavy hitter for a while in order for the magic of the vulnerary to truly sink in. Ashe provided support wherever needed, his arrows never missing their mark.

At that moment, Sylvain emerged from the portal, concern sitting in the moment he grasped the situation they were in. Claude called for him. He had an idea.

“We need to heal the people here but we need to get you close. Take me with you. I’ll keep everyone at bay, you make sure everyone receives at least basic attention.”

He seemed to want to object but at Claude’s expression he nodded, helping him get on top of the horse and pushing forward.

They moved swiftly among their party. Claude insisted he only used the bare minimum amount of magic, knowing he was still new to all this and not wanting to push him too far. Meanwhile, Claude concentrated on taking out any possible threat to their efforts, on a particularly close call even taking out his axe and dispatching his enemy with a swift blow that granted an appreciative howl from Caspar and strange looks from Sylvain.

Eventually they finished killing the enemies on that room. Exhausted, they all took a moment to breath before pushing forward through the door in the center of the room. Sylvain’s hands were trembling slightly after using his magic for such a long time without much practice, which worried Claude a bit, but they couldn’t really wait for him to fully replenish.

Claude readied his bow, watching as Ashe worked his magic on the door and saw it. His armour black as the night sky and his face behind a helmet resembling a skull. He didn’t need to ask who it was.

“I’ve been waiting.” He said, his voice chilling them to the bone.

* * *

The trip to the infirmary wasn’t good. The stares of students followed them all the way there, which made it more difficult to concentrate in summoning her magic properly, which could take a toll on Professor Manuela’s state, adding to the pressure and beginning again the cycle of her magic wavering.

Marianne’s presence was reassuring in that way. She concentrated entirely on the healing, her powers flowing into every wound like a river and doing wonders to the teacher’s beaten down body and compensating when Dorothea couldn’t keep up. Dimitri was extremely careful in his handling, taking care of leaving access to both healers as well as keeping a steady pace towards their destination. Meanwhile Edie moved everywhere around them, gathering members of the faculty and communicating Professor Byleth’s instructions as well as giving orders to gather forces to march on the cavern in Professor Jeritza’s room to fully investigate and help the primary force that had gone through with their professor.

When they arrived at the infirmary, Dimitri dropped Manuela gently on the bed as the healers approached them, which was Dorothea and Marianne’s call to stop the flow of magic and retreat for the professionals to work. Her hands were trembling slightly from the effort, but she refused to leave the room. Manuela’s pale face haunted her, her expression locked in one of suffering.

She sat on a nearby bench, her hands together in prayer. Marianne stood next to her uttering a prayer to the Goddess or something, but Dorothea wasn’t really listening. All she could hear no was the faint breathing of her long time friend and the sound of her own heart beating in her ears.

“Dorothea.”

She hadn’t noticed but, at some point, Edie had dropped a hand on her shoulder and was looking at her, worried. It was rare to see her giving any sort of affection, so the mere gesture took Dorothea’s mind off of things for a second.

“She will be alright.” She said, her voice serious and matter-of-fact, as if there exists no reality in which that wasn’t true. “She is strong. She will get through this.”

Dorothea looked at her, the determined look on her face and hoped, hoped with all her heart that that was true.

Dimitri opened the door suddenly, entering the room followed by Seteth and Lady Rhea. The first looked like hadn’t slept since Flayn disappeared (which was a possibility), impressive dark circles under his eyes and a frantic air to his every movement. Lady Rhea meanwhile looked as calm and collected as ever, albeit her expression turned more solemn the moment her eyes dropped on Manuela. She brought her hands to her chest and uttered a short prayer.

The moment the two of them entered the small infirmary, they seemed to fill it with their presence in a way Dorothea ever thought someone could (except maybe the Professor, though she was kind of an odd one herself). But it was the most curious the effect they had on the people around them.

The healers treating Manuela stopped for a second when they came in, their expressions elated at the prospect of their presence even though Dorothea wanted to yell them to stop daydreaming every second their amazement continued. Marianne, usually slightly hunched over with her eyes facing the ground looked at them as if they were the most beautiful beings that existed, with a devotion the singer couldn’t begin to imagine. Dimitri remained almost the same, though his back turned slightly straighter at the presence of such authorities.

But the most interesting one was Edie. Dorothea had always known that she was not exactly fond of the Church’s ideas, preferring a more logic approach to life that would be less reliant on faith in the Goddess or any superior power (she couldn’t say that she couldn’t agree, to some degree at least). But, the moment they entered the room, the determined and secure expression on Edie’s face morphed to something Dorothea could only describe as careful blankness, too careful for it to be just the effect of politeness. It was a careful disguise, she was sure. What it hid behind, that was something none of them could really know, though only her and Dimitri seemed to have noticed her change of demeanor, it the furtive looks the other was giving the princess were anything to go by.

Once the healers had informed them of Manuela’s state, Seteth and Lady Rhea turned to them, questions evident in their eyes.

“What is the situation?” Asked Seteth, his tone controlled, as if making sure none of his emotions overflowed him and found and exit through it. Dimitri moved forward.

“The Professor was following a lead on Flayn’s disappearance regarding Professor Manuela and Professor Jeritza.” He took a moment to look at Manuela, his expression turning into a regretful one. “When we arrived, Professor Manuela was on the floor, unconscious. We found a hole in the wall of the room and the Professor rapidly mobilized the students to raise a force to enter the cavern while a few of us took care that Professor Manuela received proper care to her injuries.”

“Lady Rhea.” Edie moved forward to address the highest authorities in the Church with the confidence and demeanour of someone who knew could stand on even ground with them. “I already communicated the issue to the Knight’s standing guard around the Officer’s Academy to raise a secondary force to aide the Professor. We just need your order to summon the Knight’s spread around in the search for Flayn to center their efforts in this task.”

Lady Rhea looked at her, Seteth seemingly overwhelmed with the idea Flayn could be found soon to actually pay any mind to what they should do right now. Her eyes, green as a spring field, shined like jewels with every breath she took, but they were cold, calculating, almost…inhuman.

“I thank you, child, for the help in distributing the message. I will promptly gather all the forces available to safe our Professor and Flayn. Now, if you’ll excuse me.”

She left the room, her absence somehow evident in the atmosphere but the air less tense. Edie looked solemn, like Dimitri, as every member of the royal linage should act in the face of someone of such authority. But, where in Dimitri there was nothing but politeness, Edie’s movements looked mechanic, practiced. And Dorothea knew acting when she saw it.

Seteth remained for a while there, making sure Manuela’s state was stable enough, before excusing himself to meet with Lady Rhea, his eyes shining with a spark of hope for the first time in what seemed like forever.

It was just them there, waiting, and seemingly not knowing what to do. Finally, Dimitri moved first.

“Thank you all for assisting us in this mission. It couldn’t have been done without you.” He bowed then, prompting a flustered Marianne to exclaim, alarmed, and Dorothea to laugh loudly at the antics of the future king.

“It wasn’t a problem Dimitri, anyone would have done the same.” She winked, which moved the prince to smile kindly. He really was another odd one.

“Dimitri, I think we should move to inform the other students of what happened.” Said Edie, the Dimitri nodding in agreement. She then turned to Marianne and her. “Marianne, please, could you gather the Golden Deer? Dorothea, I leave the Black Eagles to you. If you have any trouble, Lindhart will be in his room and Hubert will be pestering Ferdinand with something at this time of the day. I count on you.” The two girls nodded, knowing this was the best course of action and already moving to the door. “Dimitri, you’ll go to the Professor. She’ll be waiting.”

They all moved, like pulled by strings towards what we needed to do while, she remained there, her expression guarded, her eyes shining.

Sometimes Dorothea just wondered where all that confidence, that sincere belief of what was best, what needed to be done, came from. Sometimes, she couldn’t help but wonder if Edie had a little faith inside her still.

* * *

The battle turned brutal fast. They were all worn out and the Death Knight was a terrifying enemy, not to say anything of the troops installed in the area to defend him. Sylvain was sweating, the grip on his lance uneasy but firm as he drove it towards the knight for him to immediately dodge and almost turn him to ashes with a counterattack.

“Sylvain!” A voice called for him the moment Dedue and Ingrid stepped in to entertain the Death Knight. It was Claude, arrows flying from his bow at a speed Sylvain didn’t think possible before. He pointed at the corner of the room, the place the other troops were guarding.

Put against the wall, unconscious, was Flayn, her face pale and contorted in a grimace. Claude nodded, his plan clear in Sylvain’s mind, already steering his horse in that direction. Caspar caught sight of what he was doing, smiled and followed right behind, being in much better shape than before and with Felix and Teach joining in on fighting, which seemed to please the Death Knight immensely.

They began fighting the enemy support, Sylvain even dropping some spells (if he was starting to use magic, he was dropping everything). They had some extra support from Ashe and Annete, arrows and magic helping in the right moments.

Sylvain found a gap in their defense and pushed forward, getting to Flayn and a red-haired girl next to her, also unconscious. He jumped from the horse and hoisted both on top of it, remaining on the ground to defend them if necessary. And it would be.

The air suddenly turned cold around him, a chill running through his spine. He didn’t know how but, suddenly, the Death Knight was just behind him, his scythe gleaming in the dark. He was going to die. The weapon came down on him, with Sylvain having barely enough time to try and counter the attack. He heard someone calling his name. It was going to cut through his defense, no doubt about it, but, suddenly, and arrow hit the Death Knight square in the arm, causing his aim to fail hitting Sylvain by mere centimeters. Seconds after that Teach appeared out of nowhere, her sword aiming true and disarming the Death Knight effectively.

At that moment, Caspar, Felix and the rest finished up the remaining enemies, turning around and facing the last of them, disarmed and with the Sword of the Creator pointing right at his heart. Suddenly, a familiar purple light emerged, swallowing him and leaving nothing but air where he once was.

Another figure appeared in the cavern, black and red robes covering their figure and a masked helmet preventing anyone from seeing their face. They looked at them for a second, the gleam of what seemed to be their eyes the only thing visible through the mask. They all readied their weapons, prepared to fight for whatever long it took but nothing else happened.

“We will cross paths again.” They said, with a voice that seemed to come from the coldest of winters. “I am the Flame Emperor. It is I who will reforge the world.”

They looked at them a second longer and disappeared, leaving nothing behind. Confused, they all looked at each other, tiredness kicking in after such a fierce fight. Most of them dropped to the floor, Sylvain and Mercedes more concerned about getting Flayn and the mysterious girl some treatment to simply fall to their fatigue.

In his check, Sylvain took notice of every single one of them, the severity of their wounds and how they were holding up. Overuse of magic seemed to have defeated Annette, her hands slightly darker than normal and her brow turned in a gesture of pain. Caspar seemed oddly energetic, talking to mainly Ashe about the battle, though, if you looked closely, his legs were trembling. Ashe meanwhile had his hands slightly full with bandaging Dedue’s arm, who had taken a nasty swing of the Death Knight’s scythe but Mercedes was still too weak to treat him properly. Ingrid had dropped from the sky, her pegasus injured in the leg, and she was talking to Claude about something he couldn’t really hear.

Felix was looking straight ahead, his usual frown in place, to the place the Flame Emperor had occupied, but his eyes wondered from time to time to Claude, his expression pondering. That stung Sylvain a bit, but he didn’t want to think about it.

But then, there was Teach. Her expression was blank, as usual, but there was something different about her. Her eyes gleamed with a new light, her lips perking a little each time she glanced at all of them.

Something was changing.


	14. Darkness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, but this week has been terrible for my mental health in general and I couldn't write a single line without my head pounding like a drum.  
> But, at last, it's here.   
> I have to say that, from here on out, I will diverge from canon quite a bit, as well as introduce the Ashen Wolves into the story because I've got some plans for them in the future.  
> As always, hope you enjoy it!

Once they emerged from the cave, Flayn and the new mystery girl perched on Sylvain’s horse, they were received by Dimitri and Edelgard, both seemingly fully equipped to enter the cave and fight their way across it, but calming down significantly when they saw them emerging. Claude saw they weren’t alone, Alois and Catherine hanging out at the back with some troops, ready to get into the mysterious hole in the wall to fully inspect all it’s crevices and make sure the Death Knight didn’t leave any friends down there.

When he emerged, Dimitri’s eyes landed directly on him, his smile turning easier after seeing he was alright and waving softly at him. Edelgard met Claude’s eyes for a second, looking almost as if she was evaluating him. He didn’t know what she was looking for, but seemed to pass her inspection, as her shoulders looked more relaxed. Whenever he thought he was getting closer to her, Claude realized he didn’t understand a single thing about that girl. 

The rest of their group left the room, Sylvain and Ingrid heading first to bring Flayn and the girl to the infirmary. Petra moved forward to help Annette and Caspar get their bearings, almost scooping Annette up to bring her to her room, a concerned but completely exhausted Mercedes and a slightly limping Ashe walking behind them as fast as they could. Felix walked past Claude for a moment, directed him a look he could interpret for the life of him, and moved out, leaving inside the room only Teach, the three house leaders and Dedue, who had positioned himself right behind Dimitri.

At that, both Dimitri and the rest of them turned to look at the retainer, seeing his wounds were anything but minor. At the end of the battle there was no appropriate care, as Annette and Mercedes were out and Sylvain had his hands full with trying to stabilise Flayn and the girl with the little white magic he was capable of. Dimitri scowled, clearly concerned.

“Dedue, you should go to the infirmary, you can’t leave your wounds untreated much longer.”

“I’m fine Your Highness.” He answered, the blood seeping through the bandage Ashe had apply when the loss of blood looked severe. At that point, even Edelgard looked concerned.

“I’m sorry pal, but you’re not bringing a strong argument.” Joked Claude, trying his best to cut the tension just to receive what would have been a very threatening glare from the towering Duscurian if he wasn’t paling from blood loss.

“The person who can barely close his fists should talk like that.”

Damn, he caught up. He thought he was keeping the blisters and splinters adorning his hands secret, but he wasn’t the only one who kept tabs on everyone. All eyes turned to him then, ranging from open concern to almost complete blankness (could always count on Teach to take things calmly).

“I need to talk to the three of you as soon as possible. But, for now, I think you two need to get checked up, and Lady Rhea and Seteth need to hear about what happened here and Flayn’s state.” She looked at the three of them, bright eyes examining them as if they were one of Claude’s experiments. “Meet me by my room, at midnight, and call two trustworthy people.” She then looked directly at Claude and Dedue. “Get yourselves treated. It’s an order.”

Byleth had always been a cryptic person, never said things directly and mostly kept to herself, no matter the circumstances. But, for a second, they could all see the slightest of smiles, the tiniest spark of happiness in her otherwise expressionless face. It was gone almost as fast as it came, but all of them were left without knowing how to react, which created an opening for her to slip out of the room without any of them being fast enough to attempt following behind.

“Did she just…” Began Claude, still trying to make sense of the situation.

“Smile.” Murmured Edelgard. As fast as she said it her expression turned cold, repressing any other semblance of emotion that may bleed off of her, but not being fast enough to cover up for the redness of her ears.

“Let’s go. We have a mission.” Dimitri moved towards Dedue then, breaking the weird spell Teach had put them under.

They walked towards the infirmary in almost complete silence save for the quiet conversation between Dimitri and Dedue a few steps ahead, leaving Edelgard and Claude just behind them. Claude was then in the uncomfortable position of deciding between beginning a conversation or remaining quiet. The conversation they were having before the whole Death Knight debacle was still fresh in Claude’s brain. He could still remember the flash of fear that was written all over Edelgard’s face the moment Dimitri had mentioned Lord Arundel. That wasn’t the face someone made when thinking about family. It mad Claude think back to another time, a time when he hid under his covers, dagger in hand and vial of poison in his pocket, praying nothing would happen that night.

“Are you still up for that game of chess Princess?” He asked, trying to be as nonchalant as he could. She looked at him questioning until she seemed to realise where he was going for, when her face turned serious.

“I thought it wasn’t the best of times but sure, we can still manage it. When can you make it?”

“Oh, I don’t know, I’ll have to talk to Dimitri first. He wouldn’t want to miss it?”

He could be wrong, but he swore a small scowl appeared between her eyebrows.

“I don’t think he would really appreciate something like that. He was always more of an…action kind of noble. Besides, we wouldn’t be alone. I cared to invite a few more people. Hubert would be bored if there was only one match for us to win.”

Claude raised an eyebrow at the blatant show of confidence but said nothing of it, aiming for more information.

“And who would be interesting enough to accompany such accomplished players?”

“You’ll have to see for yourself, don’t you think?”

The sun was moving fast, the shape of the moon turning more visible by the minute by the time they reached the infirmary. It was crawling with healers, most of them concentrated in three beds which contained Manuela, who was looking far better than the last time he saw her, her eyes already open and chatting with the healers around her. The mysterious redhead they rescued, and Flayn. Next to her bed was Seteth, who looked at her with the eyes of someone who thought he had lost everything just to be freed from that future. Flayn had already opened her eyes (which surprised everyone in the room, including the healers), her smile soft and peaceful as she looked at Seteth, who looked at the brink of bawling his eyes out.

Now less pressed for their services, the healers approached first Dedue, as his arm kept on bleeding out all over the infirmary and then Claude, who at that point was not sure if his hands were still there or they were just a pulsing bundle of pain. But it wasn’t anything serious, as the just a tiny bit of magic made the pain stop and he stop considering cutting them off. Nevertheless, the healers weren’t happy at how careless Dedue had been about his wound, and ordered him to remain the infirmary all night to make sure he was okay. Dedue didn’t look pleased with that decision, which would probably have resulted in the healers letting him leave if he wanted to just to not get on his nonexistent bad side if it weren’t for Dimitri’s insistence, who with just one look at his retainer made him drop the argument and sit on a stool, allowing the magic to sew his wounds.

Sometimes Claude wondered. Dimitri wasn’t like he was, all cunning and deceiving. He wasn’t even like Edelgard, who kept her cards close to her chest and only made her move when she was sure the win was hers to take. He wasn’t, in most ways, the stereotypical noble Lorenz usually ranted about. He was kind, thoughtful, and cared for the people around him to a degree that almost put his person behind, as less important or less worthy. But, at the same time, he had the command, the ability to make people follow his orders without trying. It was at those times that Claude saw that Faerghus had gotten rather lucky with their future king.

They left the infirmary together, but Edelgard left for the library, murmuring something about a hard one to crack, leaving Claude and Dimitri alone. Dimitri, though he was projecting a collected aura, seemed kind of on edge. He didn’t look directly at Claude, which was weird, because he was usually the first one to attempt at a civil conversation. But he was quiet. In summary, it was pissing Claude off, though the reason why wasn’t exactly clear even for him.

“Is there something wrong with my face Your Highness?”

He had realised that not calling Dimitri by his name was a sure way to make him look at him with that half scowl half pout look that made Claude want to tease him more. He wasn’t sure what was about other people calling him by his name, but there was this happy feeling about the softness of his face whenever he could answer to it, rather than the constant “Your Highness”. But, right now, Claude just wanted to provoke him a bit. And he did.

Dimitri turned to him as if to correct him but stopped himself before saying anything when his eyes landed on Claude’s, a look of guilt overcoming him that made Claude’s heart clench painfully. Dimitri turned then, his eyes fixed on the floor as they kept walking, the sky turning darker by the minute and the stars starting to pop out.

“It is nothing. It was a long day.”

He looked so affected, miserable even, that Claude felt the impulse to just leave him, not pressing further, just to make that look of sadness go away. But he knew if he left it at that it would turn worse. And he didn’t want that. So he decided he would play dirty.

“But Dima, you know you can tell me anything, right?” He put his hand on the prince’s shoulder, making him stop on his march towards who knows where and making him turn towards him. The nickname seemed to be a good touch, as the hurt look morphed into a surprised one for a moment, and that was the only opening Claude needed to push forward. “We are friends after all.”

It felt underhanded. It felt a bit wrong. He felt like he was using Dimitri’s trust in him to get him to talk. But a moment longer of those sad eyes would have broken Claude instead. And he needed to survive Fodlan, no matter what his pounding heart told him.

Dimitri looked conflicted, not really knowing what to do. Claude squeezed his shoulder tighter, smiling at him in the softest way he knew how, hoping it was not crooking in an odd way. He really was not used to smile sincerely.

It seemed to work, at least a bit, as Dimitri took a deep breath and faced him, this time looking directly into his eyes.

“Before…Flayn and everything. What we found about…Lord Arundel.” Claude nodded, starting to piece out where this was going. “I…lost it again. I wasn’t careful. And I’m sorry you had to see me in that state one again.”

Claude didn’t know how to respond to that. He couldn’t say it didn’t freak him out, because that would be a lie, and he didn’t want to lie to Dimitri any more than necessary. But what really shocked him at that time was the pain, the aggression Dimitri’s voice and expression carried whenever his emotions surfaced. Like he couldn’t physically keep them all in, but didn’t know how to get them out.

Before he could think it through he was already hugging him, his arms coming to be placed on his back and his pressed against his shoulder, holding him close. Dimitri didn’t react at first, but then he immediately moved to push Claude away, mumbling something that closely resembled a “what”, a “why” and a “Claude”. He only held on tighter making sure to get as close to him as he could. Dimitri could pry himself off of him, there was no doubt about it, but, after a moment of struggling, he stopped.

His breathing was fast, his heart pounding rapidly close to Claude’s own (who wasn’t going any slower). At first he did nothing, seemingly not knowing what to do in this situation. But, tentatively, slowly, his arms rose and wrapped around Claude’s form, bringing him even closer to him if that was even possible. He dropped his head on his shoulder, his breath tickling the hairs in his nape and an involuntary shiver run through his spine, the signal Claude’s brain was waiting for to take over from the momentary control his heart had taken of his actions.

He pushed against Dimitri’s body, separating them slightly. And that’s when Claude knew it was worse than he could imagine. As he separated, Dimitri rose his head and looked him in the eyes, his expressing raw and vulnerable in a way Claude had never seen it. And he just knew he couldn’t just leave. He couldn’t do that to him. He rose his hand to Dimitri’s face, brushing a misplaced lock of golden hair.

“No matter what your past is, or what your future will be, I know one thing. You would never hurt me.”

And it was the truth. Because for all that Claude prided himself in being a rational, strategic kind of person, he could still remember the little kid he was, the one that had dreamed of a place he could call home, a place with people who loved him for who he was, no matter where he came from. And that kid, who still lived inside his heart, who pushed him forward when his dreams seem too far away, believed in every word he said. Believed in it like he hadn’t believed in almost anything for a long time. And what could he say, he just wasn’t able to lie to Dimitri for long.

* * *

Dorothea arrived to her room with the exhaustion seeping through her pores, more than ready to drop onto her bed and sleep for the next 24 hours. It had taken more than she planned for to get up to date all the Black Eagles, specially Hubie and Ferdie, who didn’t seem to be able to stop asking her for Edie’s location during every moment of her tale, and a strangely interested Lin, who looked troubled when Dorothea told him about the forces that went after the Death Knight.

It all turned easier when Petra arrived, carrying a slightly limping but no less enthusiastic Caspar, whose voice could be heard much before they actually arrived to the class. Lin got up from his seat at a speed Dorothea had never seen him move before and walked to Caspar, his wounds and physical exhaustion more and more evident for all to see when, the moment Lin began healing him, Caspar almost fell on his knees from the relief.

The rapidly sat him down while Petra told them about the success of the mission, which lightened up the mood in the class significantly, with even Bern seeming to relax significantly at the good news.

But it was obvious that it was a hard won fight, if the state Caspar was in was anything to go by. In the beginning he tried to brush it off in a typical Caspar fashion, but Bern’s pleading eyes and Hubie’s sharp stare was too much for him to keep up his high spirits. The drop was so big when he talked about the fight against the Death Knight, his face turning serious, that both Ferdie and Petra tensed up, the knowledge of the existence of such a terrifying opponent worrying, as all of them were sure it wouldn’t be the last time they have to fight him.

After that, Lin took Caspar to the library with him with an excuse on the lines of “too much to research, need strong arms to carry all my research”, while Petra and Dorothea made sure to accompany Bern to her room, as she could barely look at a shadow without screaming in a panic. Hubie left to find Edie while Ferdie, remained in the class, his expression more serious than Dorothea had ever seen it and a look of determination in his eyes.

Petra and Dorothea left Bern in her room and moved to their own. But, before Dorothea could reach her door Petra took her hand in hers, her fingers holding her in her place without really gripping that hard. She looked at her, her eyes deep and worried.

“Goodnight Dorothea.”

There were a million words swimming in both their eyes, many things they wanted to say, and many more they couldn’t, the many emotions of the past week, this whole day, crashing onto them. Dorothea gripped tighter, for a moment not wanting to let go ever again.

“Goodnight Petra.”

She closed the door behind her and there she was, her head pounding from exhaustion at the same beat as her heart, but for entirely different reasons. She sat on the bed and closed her eyes, sleep claiming her easy and fast.

She was suddenly woken up what seemed like seconds after (even though there was no light whatsoever coming from her window) by a steady knocking on her door. She didn’t expect any visitors, the day had been very long and tense, so she hoped, if her visitor was nice, they wouldn’t be too mad that she had lightning crackling between her fingertips. And if they weren’t good company…

Fortunately, it was just Edie, whose eyes shifted fast to Dorothea’s hand before looking her in the eyes, a quiet order to stop it. She complied, way calmer seeing that it was just her but still on edge at the late night visit.

“Edie!” She greeted, sleep still holding onto her voice. “Not that I don’t appreciate the visit, but couldn’t it wait till morning? I’ve kind of had a long day.”

“My apologies for interrupting your sleep Dorothea.” Answered the Princess, seeing her wrinkled clothes and slightly hoarse voice. “But I need you to get ready. The Professor is waiting.”

That surprised Dorothea. Hadn’t they had enough life threatening situations for a day? What could possibly be so urgent to gather a team at this hour of the night.

“You should begin explaining what we are doing. It’s not like you will convince anyone if you don’t.”

The voice came from behind Edie, from none other than Lin. That ended any possibility of Dorothea figuring out anything on her own. Any plan that involved getting Lin to do something was, on normal circumstances, doomed to fail. The fact he was here implied this was way more dangerous than she anticipated.

“What happened? Is everyone okay? Is the Professor okay?”

“Dorothea, Dorothea, please, relax, everyone is alright.” Edie motioned to reassure her, shooting a dirty look towards Lin, who was yawning as if this situation had nothing to do with him. “The Professor called for the house leaders to gather a small force for an exploration mission. Everything is alright, it’s just this doesn’t seem like an official mission from the Church, so we had to be discreet about it.”

That efficiently calmed Dorothea down, which pushed her to close the door and dress herself properly before opening the door and leaving, giving her time to think the situation through.

“Not to question your decision, but wouldn’t your first option for a team include Hubie? Not that I’m insecure about my abilities, but he is more skilled in these undercover operations than I am.”

Edie said nothing, just continued walking ahead, but Lin moved rapidly to answer.

“He probably is around here somewhere, he just isn’t here officially.”

Dorothea had the impulse to look at the shadows around them, hoping to spy a flash of cape that could indicate the presence of the imperial retainer behind them, but she repressed it fast.

They arrived to the Professor’s room, where the other leaders were already waiting with their companions.

Prince Dimitri acted as regal as always, his posture straight as the lance he was holding, but he was very evidently not looking to his left, the direction of the rest of the group. Next to him was Ashe, who still looked a bit tired after the long fight they had just hours prior but looked ready to march anywhere his future king commanded. In contrast, the figure of Felix right next to him was the one of someone who would love to be anywhere but here, feeling he didn’t bother covering up, but lead Dorothea to ask herself why he was here in the first place.

Claude was being his usual self, chatting animatedly with Hilda and Leonie as if he hadn’t been in battle against the Death Knight not long ago. But the lines around his eyes told another story, one that Dorothea didn’t know if she wanted to pry into.

They didn’t have to wait for too long for Professor Byleth to appear before them, the Sword of the Creator, as always, close to her as an extension of her body. They all turned to her, ready.

She moved close by and talked to a man none of them seemed to have noticed was there all along. The talked in soft tones, their voices never really reaching the rest of them, but the man nodded to something she said and disappeared into the shadows, to the surprise of the rest of them.

The Professor turned to them, probably making a mental count of who was part of their group and nodded to herself, her actual expression covered in darkness, but nonetheless capable to grab the attention of some of the most powerful people in Fodlan. No matter where that woman lead all of them, be it peace or war, but Dorothea was quite aware that every single one of them would follow her anywhere.

And, apparently, their next destiny was the depths of Garreg Mach, they realised, just as Professor Byleth took a second to look at each and every one of them in the eyes before taking a step forward and disappearing into the darkness.

The rest of them took a second to react to that, confused and a bit scared of what awaited them in the depths of that darkness.

That was when Edie, her step sure and determined, moved to follow her, axe in hand, not even looking back to see if the rest of them followed her steps. They looked at each other and, one by one and with Dimitri and Claude moving forward first, notably not looking at each other, took the steps needed.

Dorothea, nonetheless, took a look behind her as they stepped into the darkness, looking at the night sky. She then wondered, not for the first time how things had changed since the Professor had arrived to their lives. And how much more their lives would continue to change because of her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to apologise for the lack of Sylvain in this chapter. I'm very much aware that I've got quite a bit of bias for his (always had) but I want to save him for the next chapters, as he will be much more plot relevant in them, but I love writing a pining Claude and Dorothea (not gonna lie, it's super fun writing her point of view).  
> Just saying, look up for more chapters and thing getting much more interesting.


	15. More

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, sorry for the late update. I've been trying to catch up with some projects and had almost no time to write. But, at last, I've got to update.
> 
> I want to say though that this chapter talks about some issues of self-worth and self-loathing, so I would advise to anyone for whom those issues could be a trigger not to read this chapter. I'm sorry for the inconvenience, but I don't want to cause anyone any pain if they are going through a hard time.
> 
> Anyways, I'm thinking about writing some oneshots, as this is going to be a long fic, but tell me your thoughts on that on the comments.
> 
> Enjoy!

Sylvain felt the urge to collapse onto his bed the moment he made sure Flayn and the other girl were in safe hands, but he needed to take care of his horse and, for some reason even he can’t understand, he had offered Ingrid to take her pegasus to the stables (probably to apologise for running off in the middle of the battle just to realise Felix didn’t need him there).

His hands still tingled with left over energy. He had practiced his magic for a while and, even though he wasn’t close to being competent at it by any means, he had to admit it helped when his lance wasn’t as affective as it should be.

He found himself feeling especially proud of his white magic actually. It hadn’t been something he had plan to use anywhere in the near future as he was pretty much awful at it compared to any other magic user in the monastery (except maybe Hubert, if Dorothea’s stories were right). Unlike the fire, calling upon healing magic required something Sylvain wasn’t entirely sure he had in him: faith. He wasn’t the most fervent believer, and if he had to rely on his faith on himself he would be screwed. He had the theory it had only worked because he was in such a panic at seeing Felix’s wounds, the blood dripping from his side in a continuous flow, he didn’t even have time to think about believing, the magic just went out.

The rest of the battle he thought he managed, the adrenaline pumping through his veins with every step of the way and every order Claude gave him, as his thought process was pretty much muddled to a constant pull to move forward, to end it, to finally go home and heal properly.

But here he was, not listening to the looks the healers had given him offering to rest there for a while and only seeing a moment in particular, his mind high wired to recreate the memory in such vivid detail he began holding the reigns of the animals he was in charge of tighter and tighter until the leather left a mark on his hands.

A dark scythe, falling towards him, its aim most certainly true. The two people just behind him, completely defenseless on his horse, who would be hit too if he moved, or killed just after he himself was dead. The gleam in the eyes of the Death Knight, Professor Jeritza, a person he had been around with for months, ate meals with a few times, even watched some of his sparring matches with Catherine. The madness, the glee that came from the act of killing radiated from him now, chilling Sylvain to his very bone and locking him in his place, unable to move. Afraid, so, so afraid.

A voice, calling him in the back, to far to be truly heard.

He couldn’t erase the scene from his head now that the adrenaline had stopped pumping his veins full of energy, both his body and mind too exhausted to stop it.

He saw the arrow hitting the Death Knight too, saving his life by mere inches but giving the rest time to reach him, time to corner their enemy and end him. But he fled. Again.

Memories of his brother come back then, how he fought, he tried to. And how Dimitri had held him there, away from the fight, away from where he was supposed to be, where his responsibility commanded him to be. He couldn’t do anything, just left the others to deal with his problems, never actually facing them himself. The thing with Miklan would have broken him (it still changed him in some ways, he was becoming aware of that as well), but it was his responsibility to deal with it.

He should have done something.

He should have been faster.

He should have…

“What the hell are you still doing here?”

He turned around fast, his hand unconsciously reaching for his lance and turning, just to realise it wasn’t an enemy, nor a ghost. It was Felix.

He looked at him with the usual intensity, as if he saw so many things that irritated him about his actions that he didn’t know where to begin. Usual Felix and all.

“Just bringing this ladies home, not much else.”

Felix’s eyebrow formed a perfect arch over his left eye, as if he didn’t believe a single thing he was hearing.

“Your hands are shaking.”

Sylvain immediately threw his hands to his back, shielding them from further scrutiny.

“I’m just a bit tired. Nothing I can’t handle, no worries.”

“Bullshit.” Replied Felix, taking a few steps forward, his eyes piercing into Sylvain’s almost painfully. “You are drained. You need to rest. Now.”

“Says the guy who an hour ago had a lance piercing his side and pretended to be fine with it.” The retort was met with a proud expression, Felix’s eyes narrowing and growing colder.

“It wasn’t as bad as it looked. Took a vulnerary after your magic and I could move on without problem. You, on the other hand…” He pointed at a cut on his right shoulder which had left a piece of his skin exposed.

The veins on his arms were growing more evident on his white skin, a greenish glow making them look alien. It was a sign of overuse of magic, one they both had seen on Mercedes but specially Annette, whose hands looked almost burned after an especially hard battle, her arms forming patterns of light on her skin, turning darker the harder the battle.

Sylvain felt the urge to cover his shoulder too but he knew his magic had burned his hands harder, his fingertips still tingling with unused energy that begged to cause a spark if he lost concentration for too long.

“I don’t remember being run over by a lance though.” He knew he was turning defensive, but he didn’t care. He knew a fight with Felix was the last thing he needed in his state. But he couldn’t stop. “I’m not some battle freak that wanted to fight the Death Knight with a stab wound still healing.”

Felix looked at him, hard.

“I’ve been training for this. Years learning how to fight, practicing to be the best.” He stood so close to Sylvain now that he could almost catch his scent, a mix of sweat and something metallic. “You just pushed forward, without any previous practice in magic, and try to heal each and everyone of us as if it was nothing. You even…”

He stopped at that, the words dancing in his eyes but never leaving his lips.

“What.” He said, his voice softer that it had been, even though his anger was still simmering just under the surface.

Felix doubted. He remained silent for a moment, the tension between them growing every second until he spoke again.

“You are overworked. Go. I’ll deal with this.”

That was obviously not what he wanted to say before, with got Sylvain wondering. But he was too tired to think right now.

“I’m fine with this Felix. You don’t have to baby me. I can do this.”

All the anger that previously enveloped the swordsman like a cloak vanished suddenly. Fuck.

Sylvain turned around and dropped Ingrid’s pegasus in her place, moving fast to leave his horse and turning his back to his childhood friend, who continued looking at him with a strange look in his eyes.

Once he was done taking all his equipment from the horse he heard footstep right behind him. He exhaled, rapidly composing a lie to get Felix to leave him alone for a while, but, when he turned, he was surprised at what he saw.

Felix’s hand was glowing brightly close to his shoulder. For a moment Sylvain was to dumbfounded to realise what was happening but, suddenly, the trembling of his hands receded, as well as the sting of the many small cut he hadn’t even realised he had received during the battle, including a gash on his chest from when the Death Knight’s scythe had almost cut him in half. He noticed Felix’s eyes fixed on that point, even though his hand was still hovering over his shoulder.

He wasn’t very good, his magic fading almost as soon as it started, but Sylvain’s pain was eased, the pulsing of the overexertion diming, and his irritation and excuses fading bit by bit.

He looked at him, surprised above all else.

“When did you learn this?”

He swore he saw a blush coloring the tips of his ears before the scowl appeared, all attention immediately redirected to his eyes.

“The Professor. Ignatz also helped.” Sylvain kept on staring, a laugh of surprise escaping him at hearing Ignatz’s name (how in Sothis name did Ignatz and Felix began a conversation without the poor guy running away?) which only seemed to sour Felix’s mood. “You are not the only one learning from others these days.”

That got Sylvain thinking for a moment on Teach’s plan at the beginning of the year, with all those things about working with people from the other houses and all that. In the beginning, when he arrived, he had tried to talk to as many people as he could, flirted with most of them (with varying results), but he knew, even then, that it wouldn’t go further from that. A few friendly conversations, chatting over a few meals, but not much more.

When he wanted to practice his magic, he could have gone to Mercedes, always kind and helpful to everyone, or to Annette, who was so enthusiastic about magic that she would jump in the air at the idea of teaching. But he had gone to Dorothea, with whom he had practiced his magic for hours over the months, so he knew he could trust her with that. He still had asked some advice from Mercedes, and even from Lorenz (even though that last one hurt his pride with every second the conversation continued). Felix had asked Ignatz to help him practice. He had seen Caspar and Raphael exchange training tips in between lessons, with Edelgard talking to Hilda, of all people, about something Sylvain couldn’t even begin to imagine. Sothis, he had even seen Lindhart talking to Ashe which, given the fact Lindhart usually couldn’t be bothered to start a conversation on his own if there weren’t no crests involved seemed like a miracle.

They weren’t fully there, Sylvain knew that. He still trusted Dedue’s protection in battle over Caspar’s relentless attacks, even though he knew the effectiveness of both of them. Mercedes was still his first choice when he looked for a healer, and when he wanted to cheer up when he’d had a bad day he liked going to check on Annette, hearing her singing strange songs that warmed his heart with their tune. But he felt it.

The lines between the houses were blurring each day and, truly, he didn’t know what to think about it.

He looked at Felix again, now knowing he wasn’t the only one who had realised that things had changed.

But he couldn’t help but wonder. What did all this change mean? How would this change things? Would it be for the better? Or for the worse?

“I’m done here, as you wanted.” He said, changing the subject, really not wanting to give those ideas further thought. Not now at least. “Let’s go, I’m starving.”

Felix looked at him as if he wanted to say more, but he nodded and moved to exit the stables, never looking back to see Sylvain walking right behind him, his body looser and his head lighter. He still felt the sting of bitterness at Felix’s words, but he really wasn’t in the mood to hold grudges. Too much had happened.

So they walked to the dining hall and grabbed something to eat. He talked, filling the silence with constant jokes and things he had been doing that week, or things he had heard had happened, steering the conversation far from fighting and his feelings.

The air was tense, a weird energy surrounding them that Sylvain couldn’t put a name too. It was written in Felix’s relaxed posture, almost to relaxed for someone like him. It was in Sylvain’s words, in the way he knew he was rambling but couldn’t really stop, thinking a few seconds before speaking, just to make sure he didn’t say anything he might regret.

It was in the almost smile that he swore he saw on Felix after he was done retelling a story about how he’d had to drag Manuela once back to her room when she was blackout drunk dancing in the hallways. A smile that clearly wasn’t meant to be seen, as it disappeared so fast he wondered for a while if it had happened at all. Felix’s eyes remained fixed on him, relaxed and oddly scowl-less.

Sylvain’s heart, against his wishes (as always) began beating faster, his words growing more scarce and the memory of insecurity, of fear that had enveloped him moments ago, back in the stables, was driven to the back of his mind.

This quiet moment, Sylvain talking with Felix’s occasional intervention (either to make fun of him or provide with a rare anecdote not related to the training grounds), felt new, almost fragile. He’d had lots of meaningful moments with his childhood friend, they’ve been together for most of their lives. But this had a different vibe. It felt more intimate, the scarce few people that still wandered the dining hall keeping to themselves, allowing them to have their own bubble of snarky comments and blunt answers.

That is, until something, or rather, someone came.

“Felix Sylvain.”

Dimitri approached them, effectively ruining the quiet calmness that surrounded Felix and transforming it in the almost aggression that surged whenever Dimitri was in the near vicinity.

Sylvain had come a long way since his conversation with Dimitri, and after the issue with Miklan, in talking things out with the rest of the Blue Lions on the issue of growing closer to their prince. He had managed a few Dimitri’s out of a very flustered and apologetic Ingrid. Mercedes and Annette had adapted to his petition rather quickly, understanding the issue it arose in their prince and wanting to help as much as possible. Ashe and Dedue were more difficult, the sense of duty deeply ingrained in their subconscious, with Ashe still feeling a bit self-conscious about the commoner thing, but he was working on it.

But Felix’s relationship with Dimitri was something that, no matter how much he hoped it wasn’t like that, he had a feeling it wasn’t something he would be able to solve easily, if ever. Something had happened a few years prior, something Felix didn’t like to talk about. The open hostility Felix expressed towards their future king, which was always met with careful politeness from Dimitri, was a dynamic that Sylvain was not sure he could hope to fix, or at least make bearable. For all of them, but most of all for the friendship his two childhood friends once had.

But, even though he was friends with Dimitri again, he couldn’t help hating him a bit when he appeared, breaking the peace he was growing to enjoy with Felix for a moment. That’s why, in the beginning, he didn’t realise the state he was in. But he did.

He was trembling all over, his hands shaking profusely, which prompted Sylvain to try and make sure he didn’t grab any piece of furniture in the vicinity if he didn’t want to end up giving to many explanations about the prince breaking solid wood with his bare hands. He seemed to have run to the dining hall, his cheeks slightly red.

But the most noticeable feature was the elated expression on his face, one he was obviously trying to cover up if all the scowling at the floor as if it had personally offended Faerghus was any indication.

Sylvain had so many questions but, noticing he had grabbed his and a slightly more pissed off than usual Felix’s attention, he spoke.

“I need you two to get ready by midnight. The Professor has assigned us a special mission.”

All the good mood Sylvain had accumulated the moments prior to that sentence vanished almost instantly at those words. Another mission? Right now? After that hell of a fight? The Professor couldn’t be serious. He couldn’t be asking them that. Right?

“Leave Sylvain out of this Boar.” Answered Felix before Sylvain could even collect his own thoughts. “I’ll go.”

He moved to get up from the table when Sylvain’s hand shoot out to catch his arm, making him stop in the middle.

“I’ll go too.” He said, making sure all the discomfort the idea of more fighting didn’t reach his expression. He wasn’t sure if he could fool two of his oldest friends, but he could try. “I’ve rested enough, I can go.”

“You still have burn marks from before.” Replied Felix, making all eyes drop to his hand on his arm, obviously darker than the rest of his skin. “Rest you idiot.” He paused for a moment, as if wondering if he should speak further. He seemed to be doing that a lot around him lately. Then he continued, his voice significantly kinder than his usual tone. “I wouldn’t help anyone if you push yourself to hard. Rest, train, and be ready for the next battle.”

With that he got up from his seat, freeing his arm from Sylvain’s now slack hold and moved towards the door, leaving him alone with Dimitri, watching him leave. The prince looked awkward, not knowing what to say at all.

“You must rest well Sylvain.” He said, tentatively. “Dedue told me all you did during the battle, you really saved them out there. Thank you.” He smiled at him, but Sylvain’s mind was still gone, pondering over Felix’s words. His smile vanished. “I’m sorry I couldn’t be there to fight with you guys.”

That snapped Sylvain out of his thinking, looking at him. For the longest time, Dimitri had the tendency to apologise. He had always been a kind of shy kid, one who felt things really strongly and cried almost as much as Felix used to. But now, after the Tragedy, he seemed to apologise even more than before, for things people usually pushed away as nothing important.

But the thoughts at the moment in Sylvain’s head, his feelings of uselessness, ones that had been growing stronger since the mission in Conand Tower, feelings of not being good enough, of wanting to be better, to do something, anything, that could do things easier for his friends, sometimes wishing their pain went to him instead. He knew it wasn’t rational, that he couldn’t push himself too far if he really wanted to help. But he couldn’t help that, sometimes, when he was alone in battle, watching enemies approach his friends, perfectly capable of ending their lives, those thoughts came back, a quiet voice whispering in his ear.

He wondered then if, maybe, Dimitri sometimes felt that too. That need to help any way he could, but never feeling like he was enough, like he could actually do it, like he needed to apologise whenever he wasn’t immediately doing something to help his friends.

Maybe he could understand…this.

But he was too tired, so he smiled at the prince, the gesture making him feel a bit lighter.

“Don’t worry about it Dimitri. You were there with us, one way or another. Claude was with us too, and he really helped us out with that.” At the mention of the heir of house Riegan Dimitri blushed again, averting his eyes so fast Sylvain couldn’t help but laugh. He really did wear his emotions up his sleeve. It was a refreshing change. “You’ve got good taste.”

Dimitri didn’t answer, the blush creeping to his ears now, but that was all the answer Sylvain needed at the moment. It was nice seeing him getting close to people with how isolated he had become, with all that charming prince appearance he had insisted on holding since he arrived to the Monastery.

He put a hand on the other’s shoulder, squeezing lightly in a sign of affection. Dimitri finally looked at him again, his eyes searching his expression. He had the reflex of trying to try to hide what he was feeling, force of habit. But he supressed it, wanting to be honest with his friend, hoping he would see, he would understand. There was a spark shining in his eyes for a moment looking at whatever he saw on Sylvain’s eyes, but he said nothing. He sighed. Another time.

“Be careful Dimitri. We’ve got too many bad days lately. And this one’s already been pretty bad even with us saving Flayn and all.”

He looked at him for a moment.

“I’ll keep them safe. I promise.”

Sylvain wasn’t sure if he was saying that out of responsibility, after not being able to be there during the mission, or because of something he saw on his expression, but Sylvain felt a bit better, not really knowing why those words eased him a bit. There had been definitely too many emotions running through his brain for the day.

He turned to the door and walked to his room, collapsing on the bed the moment he reached it and falling into a restless dream.

* * *

He woke up suddenly, the nightmare already dissolving from his memory. It had felt so vivid, as if he was there. The feeling of being trapped, the walls creeping in on him, voices reaching his ears but he couldn’t recognise who was speaking for the life of him.

There was a knock on his door. He looked out the window and realised it was the morning already. He got up to answer the door, realising he had fallen asleep with the clothes he’d had the day before, not bothering changing how tired he was.

Mercedes was waiting outside, her expression serious but not concerned, which aborted all catastrophic scenarios in his mind but got him curious, as this was the very first time she was the one waking him up.

“The Professor and the others.” She began, almost to herself, which was something Mercedes almost never did, always caring for the people around her. “They found something.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, that sweet, sweet angst.


	16. Know

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, sooo, it's been a while.  
> I'm drowning in projects right about now, so I probably won't be able to post much, if at all, during Christmass. I'll try to get back to it as soon as possible, but I can't promise anything. I'm so sorry about this, but I hope you enjoy this chapter nonetheless.  
> Have to say that there are some pretty big spoilers of the DLC in this chapter so, if you don't want to get spoiled, I'd advice you don't read it really.  
> But for the rest, please enjoy!

It took a moment for Claude’s eyes to adjust to the dim light of the tunnel, illuminated by randomly arranged torches and giving the place an haunted aura, with the dense air and darkness that surrounded it. They marched in a group in relative calmness, if you didn’t count Ashe’s tense shoulders in front of him and the Hilda and Leonie’s eyes, which wondered around the shadows of the tunnel, as if sensing something.

The rest of them continued walking just behind Teach, Edelgard to her right, her steps sure, and Dimitri to her left, seemingly refusing to let himself look behind him but sneaking a few glances every now and then, meeting Claude’s eyes each and every time, making him blush and making a chuckle almost escape Claude. But he wasn’t the only one shooting barely concealed looks at Claude.

Felix had never gone out of his way to cover the fact that he didn’t like Claude very much (not like he showed he appreciated anyone’s company ever). But now he was looking, no, glaring at him, like he had personally offended him in some way and Claude’s head was way to full with other things to worry about to actually consider why the always prickly Felix seemed to have taken a turn for the stabby.

Suddenly, everything collapsed. The floor they were previously walking on disappeared from under their feet, the smell of magic the last thing Claude could process before the fall overtook his senses. Fortunately, it wasn’t a particularly high fall, so he was able to land properly (his practice falling off his wyvern as a child definitely helped with that) and swiftly take out his bow, aiming an arrow at the darkness that surrounded them.

The hole they fell in was too proportional to be natural, so it was definitely a trap put there to prevent groups from trespassing. It was probably activated by magic if the odor was anything to go by. At that, he searched in the dark for any flicker of light he could find. It was dim, but he saw it, so he shot, the arrow flying through the air followed by a cry of pain.

A light appeared in the direction of the scream, but an awful smell came from it, which together with the purplish light told Claude he was fucked: dark magic. He tried to move but he’s feet didn’t respond him fast enough and he fell, a perfect target. He closed his eyes, but the pain never came.

When he opened them Lindhart was in front of him, his face blank except for the slight frowning of his eyebrows.

“Can’t believe I let Edelgard drag me into this.” He said, the attack brushing off him as water.

“Claude!”

Suddenly Hilda was next to him, her bright pink hair the only point of brightness in the room apart from Lindhart’s magic and other’s further from him, probably Dorothea and their own attackers. Leonie was next to them, an arrow ready and shooting at the place the attack came from, but no sound came.

Calmer now, he scanned his surroundings to check on his allies. Dorothea was kneeling next to a seemingly injured Ashe, who was cradling his arm in pain, while Edelgard stood in front of them, defending from any possible attack in their direction. Further up front Felix was confronting an enemy in a sword match that, for the looks of it, looked pretty close, which was worrying in it’s own way. Not far from there was Dimitri, who had discarded his lance for some reason and was outright brawling with a man almost twice his size who, somehow, looked like he was having the time of his life. Teach was nowhere to be found, a chill running through Claude’s spine at the realisation.

But he couldn’t ponder on it for long. The other’s needed help. He didn’t take long to devise a plan.

“Hilda, you move forward, help Dimitri as much as you can.” She nodded, a strange look in her eyes the moment she saw the man he was fighting. “Leonie, distract Felix’s opponent, break his concentration, push him to have an opening for Felix to attack. Try not to get to close though.” Leonie smirked and got to work, confident even in the chaos of battle. “Lindhart, I need you to cover me from a far from magic attacks. I’ll try to sneak an attack on the mages that are backing them up. Go.” Lindhart sighed but he didn’t complain, so he got to work.

He made quick work of climbing the trap they had devised, trying to be as inconspicuous as possible moving forward. After a few assassination attempts one got really good at hiding, and he’d actually practised. He sneaked behind them and realised they were only two, a woman with blonde hair and another one with bright red one, both looking at the battlefield below, with the latter throwing spells while the other one held her shoulder tight, blood seeping through her hand.

Claude took his dagger and approached the blonde one from behind. He took her by the shoulder, which prompted a cry of pain to escape her and her ally to turn to him, surprised. He used her as a shield between himself and the mage, his dagger, close to her jugular, his message clear. The girl looked at him for a second, her eyes portraying an emptiness that could deceive most people, but not him, he saw it for what it was: a threat.

“Unhand me, you fiend! Don’t you know who I am?” Shouted the girl he had just taken prisoner, flashbacks from a certain noble coming to him at her words.

“No worries my lady, I have no problem in doing that. But, before that, I would thank you if your allies stopped ambushing my friends. It’s rather rude, you know.”

The blonde girl tried to get free from his grip but she noticed the sting of the blade against her neck and she turned still as a statue, her breathing calming down, and looked at her friend. The other girl turned her red eyes towards him, sizing him up, before looking back at her friend.

“Yuribird! Stop, they got us.”

The sounds of battle stopped almost instantly. He moved carefully towards the edge of the hole, his dagger still pressed against the blonde girl, just in case. When he looked down he saw fire had been lit down there, illuminating the faces of both his friends and his attackers. In front of a slightly annoyed Felix was a fragile looking person with long lilac hair who looked up at him with an threatening expression, as if he was an imperfection he intended to eliminate as soon as possible. The man Dimitri had been brawling together with Hilda (seriously, the strength of those two combined, and the man didn’t bac down and run for his life?) was easily one of the biggest men he had ever seen, his muscles clearly shown through his open jacket and an excited smile adorning his face.

“Drop your weapons or you can say bye to your friend.” Threatened Claude. Seeing the bruises on Hilda and Dimitri making it easier to hold the knife.

Down there the big man sighed and threw his hands in the air, a confident smile adorning his features for some reason. The other person though kept on looking at Claude, his blade still carefully held on his hand. He must have seen something, because he dropped it to the floor and smiled.

“Not bad your highness’, you got us. You can come out now friend.”

“Thank you for your help Yuri.”

Behind Claude appeared Teach, her arms crossed over her chest and the closest thing to a smile she seemed to be able to muster adorning her face, making her look her age for once.

“What is happening?” Asked Leonie from down there. None of them could see the Professor, so she moved forward, though not before signaling her throat.

Claude, as if awaken from his stupor, released the mage, who turned to look at him with an offended look but quickly moved towards the other mage, who looked bored now.

“Can’t believe you convinced us to do this pal.” Said the burly man, though his smile remained intact.

“Wait a minute. Are you…Baltie?” Asked Hilda, the disbelieve evident in her voice.

“And who the hell are…wait, are you little Hilda? Holt’s sis?”

“I can’t believe you are here Baltie! My brother was worried sick when you disappeared. Where have you been?”

“Well…” The man, apparently “Baltie”, looked very uncomfortable, but he was interrupted by another voice.

“Is that you Lady Edelgard?” Asked the mage he had just been holding hostage, seeming nervous for some reason.

“Constance? Is that you?” Answered Edelgard’s voice, surprised for the first time Claude could remember.

“Wait, I know that guy.” Said Ashe. “He was in Count Rowe’s house. I believe he was his adoptive son?”

“Extra points for the guy, he remembers important details.” He smiled at Ashe, though it didn’t reach his eyes, and the boy seemed to want to run away. “You were Lord Lonato’s kid right?” He received a slight nod and his smile grew smaller, almost careful. He turned to Teach then, his eyes narrowing. “You didn’t tell us we’ll be attacking this many important people. What did you get from this friend?”

“To get you to grant them access to Abyss, nothing more. That was our deal.”

Claude was positive the rest were as confused as him at the exchange that was taking place before their eyes.

“Professor.” Began Edelgard. “Could you explain what is happening here? Because it seems like you sent them to attack us on purpose.” The suspicion in her eyes was evident, as well as a swirl of emotions that crossed her face too fast for Claude to process.

The atmosphere got tense for a second, all eyes on their professor, awaiting an answer. But it didn’t come from her.

“Chatterbox here wanted you all to be able to get into Abyss, but Yuri wasn’t sure so she asked us to fight you, to see if you’re worth the risk.” Said the red haired mage. Her friend turning to her with slight disapproval on her face but she cut her off fast. “She would take a long time explaining everything Coco. And I need a nap.”

Claude was still grapping his head around everything that was said, but he decided to ponder about it later (ponder as in interrogating Teach thoroughly that is).

The rest of the group was emerging from the hole right now and continuing their path into the dark. Hilda was talking animatedly to the burly man, who seemed slightly awkward but fond of her antics, which calmed Claude’s nerves a bit. Dorothea came next, leading the way to Leonie, who was dragging Lindhart up and through the corridor. Yuri, the leader, was talking to Ashe as they walked, their conversation so natural it seemed strange with how awkward Ashe usually was around most people at first encounter. Edelgard was next, her steps leading her directly to Teach, with whom she obviously wanted to have a few words.

At last, Dimitri emerged from the hole, their eyes meeting instantly and a relieved expression spreading through his face when he saw Claude. After the moment they had shared hours before, a flustered Dimitri had pushed him away to excuse himself, saying something about needing to find someone and left Claude there, flustered after his previous blabbering and with a small sting piercing his heart. They hadn’t said anything on the matter, both of them evading each other’s eyes.

For a second, Claude thought about bringing it up, but Dimitri interrupted him.

“Are you okay? You disappeared in the middle of everything and…” His eyes scanned over him, checking for wounds and, at seeing he was fine, he relaxed. Claude smiled, finding this adorable as always.

“I should be the one worrying don’t you think? I wasn’t the one wrestling muscleman over there.” He said, pointing his finger at Hilda’s friend. Dimitri seemed confused at that, to which he sighed. “Normal people are not able to fight people like that and come out unscattered. But you do.” He looked him in the eyes, wondering. “Not much survival instinct I guess.”

He knew he had stepped on a landmine the moment those words left hiss mouth. Dimitri’s eyes darkened slightly, but he remained quiet, which worried Claude. He was going to question him further, an anxious feeling growing in his gut when none other than Felix appeared.

“Boar, I need to talk to your prey there.” He said.

Dimitri turned to him instantly, the dark look vanishing instantly and, suddenly, the radiant prince was back, looking at Felix as if his presence didn’t interrupt their conversation.

“Of course Felix. Go ahead.” Then he left to talk to Teach, not looking back.

He didn’t notice he had been staring after him until Felix called his attention again.

“The best you could do is keep your distance from him.” Claude was suddenly reminded of what he had told him a long time ago, when he had began getting closer to Dimitri. _He is not what he seems_ _he said, but what is he exactly? Why do you hate him so much? Why are you all so scared to get close to him?_ , he thought, knowing asking any of that would lead to Felix stomping off to the Goddess knew where. So, instead, he did what he knew best. Deflect.

“It was a good match against that Yuri guy. You must be happy about that.” Claude was pretty sure he didn’t fool the swordsman, but one could hope.

“He is not what everyone thinks he is. He is not that charming prince he insists to be in front off everyone.” He looked at the ground, almost as if talking to himself. “He is a beast, one that will stop at nothing till he sees his goals realised, no matter the cost of lives that might entail.”

Even through the obvious anger and disgust that fell off Felix’s every word, the sadness behind them was what got him thinking, what really made Claude consider Dimitri from the point of view of someone who had known him for a long time. But he wasn’t going to give up on him just yet.

“And what do you care? Until recently you didn’t seem to worried about the issue.” He hoped to provoke him into saying something, anything. But he didn’t expect what he received.

“It was you.” Answered Felix, his voice barely a whisper and avoiding Claude’s eyes. “Before, against the Death Knight. Sylvain was going to die but you shoot and arrow and diverted the attack. You are the reason he’s still alive.”

There was silence after that, during which Felix seemed to fall out of that strangely sincere mind space that had lead him to drop such a heartbreaking truth onto Claude of all people. He couldn’t even remember properly the moment he was referring too, the chaos the only thing he could properly process at that time, but it had meant something important. It had made a difference. Somehow.

“I owe you one because of that, so I’m telling you this. The Boar will dispose of you the moment you’re not useful to his goals. It would be best if you didn’t get close to him.”

And, with that, he moved forward, not looking back, and left Claude thinking how could one possibly know someone all their life just to not really know them at all.

* * *

Dorothea still felt her heart pumping blood throughout her body, the adrenaline of battle just wearing off in her walk with their new friends. When she first heard them talk, she made a mental note to keep her distance from the blonde mage, Constance (he didn’t want to fraternise with her nobleness too much, at risk of having an aneurism). The tall guy, Balthus, seemed nice enough, laughing out loud as if he were more than one person, so loud he was. The other girl, Hapi, was quiet most of the way, only really talking to Constance and sharing a few words, oddly enough, with Lindhart, now recovered from his constant tiredness for some reason. Yuri seemed like the most fun out of the bunch, smiling knowingly at all of them in a way that told Dorothea that it wasn’t the first time he’d heard about them and talking to Ashe about something that Dorothea couldn’t grasp but got the other boy nodding excitedly, which was good in everyone’s book.

It was weird that just moments ago they’ve been trying to kill each other in a hole under the Monastery (or at least they were trying to kill Yuri’s group, but anyways) and now they were talking to each other as if nothing happened. Weird, that’s all.

The atmosphere around the house leaders didn’t help much in making the situation less strange. Edie kept shooting glances to the shadows, her expression blank. Dimitri was all smiles, like always, but still avoiding looking at Claude. Tough he shouldn’t worry. Claude seemed way too occupied having a staring contest with the floor to actually pay attention to anything happening around him.

They arrived to some stairs that descended into the shadows and Yuri turned to the rest of them, the dim light making his eyes shine mischievously.

“Welcome to the Abyss, surface dwellers.”

And he pushed open a door, revealing light and the sound of people.

The moment they crossed the threshold a guard dressed in really rugged clothes turned to face them, his face lighting up the moment he got sight of Yuri and his gang.

“Hey, they are back!” He shouted, excited.

Out of nowhere came a huge group of people that surrounded them, asking them so many questions Dorothea was completely unable to keep up with the conversation that was taking place right in front of them. The four of them were rapidly swallowed by the people, leaving the rest of them standing awkwardly by the door, not really knowing what to do but checking out the place, bewilderment in their faces.

Dorothea remembered her days wandering the streets of Enbarr, the dim lit lights her only guide and the nights she was able to sleep under a roof a blessing. It was obvious the place was not in the best condition. The people wore clothes with holes on them, the air was heavy with the smell of dust and ruin, and the light seem to barely reach the place, mostly coming from the torches that hung on the walls closer to them.

But it was obviously a place the people who lived there cherished, a shelter to all of them. And Dorothea could emphasize with that feeling, most commoners could really, if the looks of Ashe and Leonie were anything to go by, the complete lack of judgement in them.

Weirdly enough, she didn’t see the judgement she expected on the eyes on the nobles, Lindhart giving it his casual disinterested look, Felix barely giving it a glance and directly eyeing the people that continued approaching their guides, as if assessing who he could fight first out of all of them. Dimitri looked to all sides, his eyes shining curiously in a gesture that almost made Dorothea laugh fondly at his bewilderment. Claude seemed curious as well, but in a more careful way, checking out the place at the same time he looked for different ways out of it. Edie had a black expression still, but Dorothea noticed she tried very hard not to look at the floor, through which the occasional rat came creeping out, seeming almost accustomed to having this much noise around it.

Then the Professor moved forward, nodding towards several people in the crowd and almost giving Dorothea a heart attack at the familiarity with which she moved around them, as if she had known them all her life. She walked towards Yuri, gave him one of her piercing looks, and the other nodded.

“Sorry people, but we’ve got things to do now. We will talk after. Now go, there’s always something to do around here.”

The people dispersed in between laughter and conversation. Dorothea didn’t really know any of them, but it was obvious they’ve come to care about each other, one way or another. She wishes, not for the first time, she could come to feel that someday.

Yuri turned to them then and guided him with a gesture towards a closed door right next to the entrance. He pushed the doors open and got in, followed by his friends and the rest of them. What they found was not what they were expecting.

Racks upon racks of books adorned the walls of the room, the smell of old paper and dust floating through the air and invading their senses. The light was dim here, as everywhere else in Abyss, but it seemed somehow darker in here, as if even the light was not allowed inside. There were staircases leading up and down the floor they were in, meaning there were more books than the ones that they were seeing, which meant this place had nothing to envy the library back at Garreg Mach.

To no one’s surprise, Lindhart and Claude moved forward first, observing the titles on the bookcases as if in a trance. They had that wonder in their eyes as they looked around, as kids finding a new toy to play with. What did surprise them all was that Lindhart was the first one to turn around and ask what everyone was thinking at this point.

“What’s all this?” His voice held more emotion Dorothea had believed him capable of, the excitement mingling with the caution. “It is highly unlikely the Church allows this place to exist. This books are definitely banned.”

“It’s not like they really care what’s going on down here.” Answered Constance, her tone confident. “Besides, they don’t really expect much contact between people from the surface and us.”

“What is this place anyway?” Asked Hilda, as confused as the rest of them.

“We are the people who the Church doesn’t want nor care to deal with.” Said Balthus, almost as if it was no big deal. “So they throw us down here, with everything they don’t want to have on the surface, and pretend we don’t exist. For the most part at least.”

“How long have you known about this Professor?” The tone Edie asked that question with was frigid, crushing the comfortable atmosphere that seemed to have formed moments before.

The Professor turned to her then and, for a second, it was as if the rest of the world had disappeared, leaving just the two of them there, waiting for something to happen.

“Since I arrived.” There was a flash of something close to betrayal in Edie’s eyes, and the Professor’s eyes turned dark at that. “I knew of this place and the knowledge it held, the things you will not learn if you just remain in the Monastery and follow everything I can teach you there.” She walked up front, facing all of them with her intense eyes, displaying more emotion than her expression could. “It’s time you learn about everything. What you do from there…that is your choice.”

Silence ensued after that. Most of them were mostly confused or seemed disinterested with any of the information just given (those were mainly Felix and Lindhart though). But all eyes were, one way or another, on the house leaders.

Claude looked at the ground, his mind obviously running a mile an hour but ultimately settling on eyeing the book currently on his hands, tracing it with his fingers. Dimitri seemed distant, but looked at the Professor with a seriousness to his expression that portrayed the thoughts that were currently running through his mind, most of them probably conflicted with the idea of going against the teachings of the Church of Seiros.

Edie looked at Byleth as if she hoped that, if she looked close enough, she would see what she was thinking, what she was planning. The Professor looked at her too, their eyes never leaving each other, not for a single moment. Dorothea felt like she was intruding in something private when she looked at them like that.

Finally, someone broke the silence they’ve been stuck in.

“Why don’t you check the place out and decide from there? All this seriousness is turning this place gloomier.” Yuri cut through the tension as easily as he wielded his blade. “We’ll leave you here, but you can roam around Abyss if you want, we don’t mind. I leave you in charge friend.” He said, obviously referring to Byleth.

All of them seemed to snap out of it, with most of them sticking to the library while others moved to explore the rest of the place (namely Hilda, Leonie and Felix).

Dorothea stuck to Edie’s side, sensing the turmoil in her mind and not wanting to leave her completely alone with her thoughts. So they all moved to investigate this new source of knowledge, not knowing what the would find, but sensing that it could change things. For the better or for the worse. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so, from the moment I saw for the first time the library they had down in Abyss, my first thought was "I wish this guys could just see this stuff, it would solve soooooo many issues". So...I wrote. Hope you liked the chapter, and until the next time <3


	17. Cracks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG I'M FINALLY BACK!!  
> I'm so sorry for the long time without an update, but all my professors decided Christmas was the ideal time to crush me with projects, so I've been very busy to actually get much done.   
> I tried to compensate with a longer chapter so I hope you enjoy <3

Getting over the tension didn’t take Claude too much time really. He got the idea that this place wasn’t somewhere the Church approved off, and that it wasn’t the kind of place they wanted the three heirs of the most important political units in the continent wandering about, even though they were armed to their teeth on a regular basis.

At first he wasn’t sure what kind of change of mind he was exposing himself to but, as soon as he began devouring the tomes he found closer to him, he knew what was happening.

Forbidden magic, complex artifacts, substances that had unexpected properties, history books, everything he read through filled the holes he himself had had around the ideas professed by the Church since he had arrived to Fodlan. There were still many holes to fill up, but he got the gist of it: the Church of Seiros was purposefully keeping discoveries and information from the people. 

Around him, the rest of the group was doing much the same thing as he was. Lindhart was particularly immersed in a book that easily weighted more than him. Ashe was roaming around the area were they kept some Faerghan legends, guided by Yuri and Hapi, who seemed invested in the conversation they were having with the gray haired boy. Dorothea was talking quietly with Edelgard, whose eyes looked through the pages of the book on her hands without really seeing. Hilda came around from time to time to see how he was doing, but preferred roaming around Abyss with Leonie than being stuck inside a place full of books. Felix, as expected, had disappeared from the very beginning, as well as Teach, who had left the room seemingly in a hurry.

Dimitri had mostly kept to himself, which was a bad sign in this situation. At first he just wandered around the room, touching a few books that seemed to catch his eye, but promptly dropping them, his eyes looking far away from the room and the people in it. He sat around for a while, looking like a lost puppy, until he got up and exited the room to do who knows what.

At first Claude did not notice this but, after a while, Felix came into the room, looked around and walked towards him, his expression neutral.

“Where the hell is the Boar?” He asked, his tone just controlled enough to tell Claude he was more worried that he wanted to admit, which was a weird look on Felix after the pretty harsh words he’d had for him hours prior.

“I don’t know, he might be wandering around the place.” Felix began glaring at him at that, which confused him. “He is capable of breaking swords with his bare hands, I think he will be fine Felix.”

“It’s not him I’m worried about.” He said nothing else and quickly left the room.

After he stormed off Claude decided the safest course of action was to go look for the both of them, not wanting Felix to commit murder, they’ve had enough fighting for a week at least.

He walks by the poorly lit halls too full of people to be this late at night. Most of them, for what he could tell, were conducting some kind of business, from selling weapons and ale, to, for what he heard from their conversations, selling their abilities, whether those were for murder or for other stuff. He decided he didn’t want to know and kept searching for a tall, blond head among the crowd.

He should have expected he would be easy to find, his bright blond hair in sharp contrast with the dark tones of everything around this place. He spotted Felix not far from there, watching from afar as Dimitri wandered.

He didn’t seem to have a clear destination, opting for stopping on a bridge under which flowed the muddiest water he had seen in a while (he wasn’t sure all of that was just water but again, he didn’t really want to know). Dimitri looked down at it, his eyes unseeing, and sighed.

“Hey.” Approached Claude, careful at first, not knowing if his presence is welcomed or not. He still remembered that day in the library, the first time they properly spoke, the aggression in the other’s every move. He still didn’t know how to feel about it, but he sure didn’t what to bring it out now.

Apparently he wasn’t unwelcomed, as Dimitri turned to him and smiled as greeting, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes, which were still lost far away.

“Claude. I though you would be with the books. What are you doing here?”

“Well…” He wondered if he should say anything. _Screw it, it’s not that big of a deal. Probably_. “Felix came back to look for you, so I decided to see where you flew off. Though he found you first.”

There was genuine surprise in his eyes at hearing that Felix had come to search for him.

“He did that?” His voice was small, just the tinniest spark of warmth brushing on his tone. But it vanished as fast as it came. “He probably just thinks I will cause trouble to the people here and decided he would intervene if it came to that.” His eyes returned to the water, coldness radiating from him.

“If you ask me,” Began Claude, proving himself incapable of seeing that sad expression for much longer without turning to kill Felix himself. “he was more worried that he’d ever admit to another living being. Would you know, he actually doesn’t have a sword for a heart.”

A small laugh came out of Dimitri, a signal that everything wasn’t so bad as Claude feared. If he could still produce that tiny smile of amusement, the one that lit up his face with that tiny spark of warmth, all was well. But there was a darkness there as well, as there usually was when Dimitri thought about his past, which, Claude thought, happened more often that anyone saw ( _or cared_ , he thought, quietly, painfully).

They remained silent for a while, both obviously avoiding the topic, both to avoid a difficult conversation and not to break the moment, both looking at the infinite tunnels that run through Abyss, the sound of people all around them having a drowning effect on their thoughts. But they couldn’t run from this issue. Not after all they’ve seen.

“…I don’t know what to do.” It came out almost as a whisper, as if Dimitri had been trying his hardest not to voice his thoughts, his insecurities, no matter how much they tore him up inside. His eyes went to his joint hands on the wall of the bridge as if they held the answer to the dilemma his mind was submerged into.

Claude chose his words carefully. He knew Dimitri wasn’t in the calmest state of mind, his beliefs challenged in a fundamental way. None of them expected the Church to hide a place like this, right under Garreg Mach, much less the more conflicting things they hid in that library, in which most books were carefully signed off by Seteth as banned, making it pretty obvious it was no accident they were there.

It was late at night, but there was no way of telly what time it was as no source of natural light was visible underground, but Claude didn’t need it to see that they were both way to tired to reach a conclusion to the doubts that run through their minds at the moment.

“We can’t keep of taking everything the Church says at face value.” As he said those words he noticed Dimitri twiddling with his thumbs. He turned to face him, knowing Dimitri responded better to honesty than to empty words of encouragement. “But that doesn’t mean we have to openly oppose them right this moment. Think about it and come to a decision.” He tried to smile at him, knowing full well he was avoiding his eyes. “That’s what I’m going to do at least.”

Dimitri moved so he was facing him and not the edge now, his thoughts running through his face, his unsureness radiating from him in such an obvious way that Claude repressed the urge to hold his hand. But, as always, something had to interrupt their moments.

“Hey Claude! A word?” They question came from the burly friend of Hilda, Balthus, who was walking towards them with the confidence of someone who knew themselves in familiar territory when others didn’t. But the only thing Claude could think off was to carefully supress the death glare he wanted to direct to the man the moment he interrupted.

“Balthus! Pleasure meeting you actually. What can I do for you?” He tried to keep the annoyance out of his voice as carefully as possible. If the other noticed, he didn’t comment on it.

“I was hoping we could talk in private actually. You may not want to talk about this” He looked intently at Dimitri, his eyes sizing him up, probably remembering the sparring match they’d had hours prior. “with an audience.”

Claude pondered it for a moment, a million thoughts running through his mind. For what he could learn from Hilda, Balthus had been the heir to a minor noble house in the Alliance before leaving it and disappearing out of thin air. That made him disconnected to the earlier developments in the Alliance diplomacy, but familiar enough with it to catch on to trends and the events that affected it probably. It was also a possibility that he was still in contact with nobles from the Alliance, like Count Gloucester, which had openly expressed their dissatisfaction with his appearance in the political map. Which opened up the possibility of him hiring someone in Garreg Mach (apart from Lorenz, who Claude was already seeing as someone more separated from his father’s schemes that he first came across as) to find dirty secrets from him to use against his grandfather in the roundtable meetings. The risk of having Dimitri there, therefore, was high.

But, at the same time, pushing him away at a moment like this, with the amount of trust he had given Claude, made him feel sick to the stomach. He was not used to sharing about himself, carefully avoiding any topic that was even remotely personal, like his favourite tea, or the dagger that sometimes was just noticeable enough for Dimitri to through a side comment on where he got it from or if he could see it closely. He, on the contrary, had opened up to him, had trusted him with things he had only trusted Dedue, his retainer and closest confidant, with.

He took a deep breath, as inconspicuously as possible, and smiled at Balthus.

“Sure, lead the way.” It felt wrong, in many ways, leaving Dimitri there. He could not fully look him in the eyes as he smiled at him, just noticing the concerned furrow of his eyebrows looking down at him. He tried not to dwell on how wrong it felt. But Dimitri spoke, his voice quiet, only for him.

“I swear nothing will make me think ill of you Claude.”

Claude’s eyes stopped in their wandering at those words, which effectively drove a sword through his heart. He looked at him, at his open and careful expression, at his eyes, looking at him as if he wanted nothing more than to make sure he was okay, no matter what he did in the end. His eyes, with shone impossibly bright in the dim light and seemed to compel him to try and open up, to bask in their brightness just for a moment longer. He turned to Balthus.

“On second thought,” He said, noticing just the tiniest bit of panic dripping into his voice at what he was about to do. He drowned it as soon as it tried to resurface again. He spared a moment to think that Felix wasn’t also that far away, but he definitely wasn’t close enough to hear anything. Maybe. “we can talk here.”

Balthus looked at him, his arms crossed. Then he looked at Dimitri and Claude didn’t know what he saw there but, after a moment, his smile grew and he shrugged.

“Whatever you want, not like a really care.” He paused and smirked, an involuntary shiver running through Claude’s spine. This wasn’t going to be good. “You’re the new Riegan boy right?”

“Yeah, charming right?” So he was going to go for his lineage. Great. At least he had a thousand stories that both him and Nader had prepared as soon as he put a foot on Alliance territory.

“And where did you actually come from?” Asked Balthus, moving closer with every question, which pushed Claude to keep down the urge to move backwards in response, both to not saw any weakness as to not concern Dimitri, who was just behind him.

“My father is just a minor lord. One day they saw that I had the crest of Riegan and, soon after, I was in Derdriu meeting the archduke. It was kind of a funky ride, not gonna lie.” He smiled, knowing his tone was nonchalant no matter how tense he felt inside.

“But duke Riegan was looking for a baby with that crest for a long time, since old Godfrey died. He found none.” He looked at him then, intently. “But then you suddenly appeared, out of nowhere, with a crest to boost! Kind of convenient, don’t you think?”

“What can I say? It’s not like I was hiding. Maybe grandfather didn’t look that hard. He’s getting old and all.” He didn’t like where this conversation is going.

“But I remember” Began Balthus, his eyes shining with information Claude wished he could just bring out with his own hands. “the old Duke had a daughter. What became of her though?”

Claude felt his back tense up, all his efforts falling into keeping a straight face, though he wasn’t completely sure he was able to do even that. This man knew about his mother. This man knew about her. Or at least he thought he knew, which could turn even more horribly, specially if that information fell into the wrong hands. But not only that.

He couldn’t see it, but Dimitri was also hearing all of this. Not only that, but he was probably hearing most of this things for the first time, and not even from Claude’s mouth ( _not that that was ever going to happen_ , a voice murmured at the back of his head, _not that you would ever have the courage to tell anyone yourself_ ). It was driving him nuts not knowing what he was thinking, what expression he was making. But he needed to keep it together if he wanted to survive, not only this situation, but Fodlan in of itself.

“When I was a brat, I remember meeting her in the meetings of the Alliance.” Continued Balthus, his eyes turning bright at the memories, oblivious to the thoughts running through Claude’s head. “She was a looker. Obviously she didn’t pay me any attention, I was a brat. But I had the biggest crush on her.” Claude wasn’t sure how to respond at how uncomfortable it was to hear Balthus talking about his mother that way, but the other didn’t leave him room to reply. “But then she disappeared. I remember there were all kinds of theories on where she went.” He took another step closer, now making Claude very aware of just how massive this man was, almost as massive as the bomb he was dropping on him right now. “Some said she died, but she was one of the most skilled warriors in the court, so that one didn’t stick for long. Some, on the other hand, said she eloped. With whom, no one knows, but where…”

Panic was flooding Claude’s systems but he had an answer ready for him when Dimitri, who had remained silent for all their conversation, dropped his big, gauntleted hand on his shoulder, somehow taking a bit of the edge of his thoughts from him. That allowed Claude to breath for a moment and, even though the gesture was clearly noticed by Balthus, he didn’t care so much about it as to make sure to close this issue as soon as possible.

“And what makes you believe those stories are even remotely related to me?” He said, the nonchalant tone of his voice firm as ever. “Not like you have proof of any sort anyway. What was the point of all this?”

Balthus looked at him, his smile fading into something smaller, more of an acknowledgement than smugness.

“Nothing.” He said, his hands moving behind his head in a relax stand. “Just asking.” He directed a last look at Dimitri’s hand, which was still positioned carefully on his shoulder. Something flashed through his eyes for a moment but it was gone before Claude could see what it was. “Guess I’ll leave now then. Until next time.” He waived before turning around and walking among the people that still moved through the streets of Abyss.

Claude turned to Dimitri then. He didn’t really know what he would find there, and, if he was honest with himself, he was a bit scared of what he may find.

But when he saw a small smile on his lips, a smile that only said _I’m here_ , as if those weren’t the words Claude wanted to hear most. He didn’t know if he had pieced something up from this conversation, his heart beating faster with panic at that thought, but, for a moment, he just basked in the sensation he was feeling at the moment. The acceptance, the lack of judgement, the patience Dimitri was looking at him with worked like a balm on his scared brain, which was still putting together the worst case scenarios of this encounter.

Dimitri looked at him openly, the conversation they’d had before Balthus appeared at the back of their minds for a moment, and the feeling of being connected to this person overwhelming Claude like a wave. But, before any of them could utter a word, the sound of fast steps coming towards them broke the moment, making them both turn to the new interruption at the same time, Claude’s expression carefully neutral again.

It was Teach, who looked between both of them for a second, but said nothing to how close they were standing.

“We are leaving.” She said, looking at both of them intently. There was a hidden emotion behind her tone, but it was so small that Claude could discern anything from it. “When you return, you should share part of what you learned here. Close wisely with who you share it with.”

She turned then and walked to Felix, leaving both of them to stare at the space she had just occupied, the weight of the decision they had to take heavier now with the knowledge that, no matter what they decided, it would affect everyone. Everything.

* * *

Sylvain went back inside his room, changing as fast as he could before following Mercedes through the corridor towards their class. They were the last to arrive there, all eyes turning to them.

First of all, the Professor was leaning against the wall, watching all of them from a distance but making it clear with her demeanor that she wasn’t going to get involved in whatever took place here.

Mercedes, upon entering the room, walked towards where Annette was seating, a carefully structured set of notes forgotten in front of her in favour of observing the rest of their group in a mixture of curiosity and slight worry. Ingrid was standing close by, her arms crossed in front of her and looking intently at the ground as if it had personally offended her. Dedue, as always, showed no signs this situation was strange in any way, standing close to Dimitri in his usual “impenetrable wall” demeanour. If it weren’t for the slightly deeper frowning of his eyebrows Sylvain wouldn’t have noticed anything wrong with him.

Ashe, Dimitri and Felix had other expressions. They were the ones who left last night to the Professor’s last minute mission, evident in the redness of their eyes from lack of sleep. Ashe was twiddling his thumbs in front of him, his mind clearly very far away from there, the turmoil in his mind obvious in the lack of emotion from his face. Felix was pretty much the same, which made wonders to Sylvain’s nerves at the moment, but he kept directing side glances at Dimitri from time to time. And it was the fact that he was actually looking at him, not scowling and carefully arranging his place in the room to be as far away as possible from him, which told Sylvain that something big had happened down there.

Dimitri…he didn’t look well. There were evident signs of worry in his expression, the anxious shifting of his eyes very obvious, with him looking alternatively from each of their faces, to the Professor and to the door, as if hoping someone would come in and save him from this situation.

“Well, hope you guys begin explaining what’s going on before we die of suspense.” Sylvain tried to break the tension as best as he knew, which granted him a glare (from Ingrid) and Dimitri’s eyes to land straight on him. “What’s going on Dimitri?”

All eyes turned to him, but he seemed calmer that he was before, his eyes landing on him with a grateful smile before turning to address them all together.

“Sorry to gather you all so early, specially after the events taking place yesterday. But believe me, I wouldn’t do this if this wasn’t an issue of the utmost importance.” Everyone except for Ashe and Felix looked confused at their future king. He sighed, a nervous tilt in his voice. “Last night we found out about something.” He hesitated. “Things the Archbishop and the Church of Seiros doesn’t seem to want anyone to know about.” He paused and looked them all in the eyes intently, as if sizing them up. It was at moments like this that Sylvain remembered that this person, the guy he had seen crying because he had stepped on a flower while playing, was someone that had been preparing himself to rule since birth, and he knew how to get everyone’s attention on him. And, in some strange way, everyone’s trust.

“I won’t make anyone participant of the information we learned about last night against their will. I am the first to acknowledge the importance of the Church of Seiros in Faerghus, so I won’t make anyone compromise their beliefs if they don’t want to.” He paused, waiting for the information he just dropped on them to sink in before continuing. “But I believe you all deserve to know this, regardless of what me or anyone think about it.”

The room turned quiet as they thought. Sylvain looked at Dimitri. He could see his uneasiness, how whatever they found out had shaken him in some way he couldn’t begin to understand. But he saw the determination to remain true to his subjects there too, the desire to give them the freedom to choose over everything.

Nobody moved, which was both surprising and not. Ingrid had never been particularly attached to the Church, but she was loyal to a fault. Annette’s family were all believers, including her father, but that could be an argument both for and against. Dedue remained silent, but he never was particularly attached to Fodlan’s Goddess, so he didn’t have much reason to be affected. 

Then there was Mercedes. Sylvain hadn’t heard the whole story, just a few bits, but the Church that took her and her mother in seemed to have saved them from something horrible. It was understandable that she wouldn’t be comfortable hearing something like this with that background, as well as being one of the most devout people he had ever met. He remembered her troubled look when she had come to fetch him, not a word uttered on their way. But she remained there, her eyes trained to the floor and one of her hands held tightly by Annette.

Dimitri looked at them once more, sighed, and began.

Sylvain felt as if he was transported to a different world. They all remained silent, expect for the occasional intervention of Ashe to give more details on a certain part of the story, stunned to silent. They heard tales of strange inventions that helped people see from far away places, and sources of energy way more powerful than Sylvain believed possible. He heard tales of the creation of house Galatea, which made him turn his eyes to Ingrid, who looked at Dimitri as he talked with a blank expression, nothing surfacing there. He heard about Pan, the “undesiring strategist”, a legendary figure in the history of Faerghus, and, apparently, not so loyal to Loog, his king, as to something else. The Ten Elites, those who were the heroes the Church of Seiros told them had helped defeat Nemesis, being not as righteous as they thought.

“No offense,” He began after Dimitri finished retelling everything, his face still grim. “but how much credibility could we give to all this? I kind of sounds…impossible. Like, isn’t this too big for nothing of it to have surfaced in all this time?” The reactions to his words were varied, from complete blankness to grateful looks, which meant he wasn’t the only one doubting.

“Who says it hasn’t surfaced?” The question came from the person he least expected it. Felix was looking at him intently, his eyes piercing through his doubts and throwing him into the void that was the possibility of anything of this being true. Because if someone like Felix, someone who checked twice every single decision and belief he has, considered this as something that could be true… “Weird shit’s been happening for a while.” He looked at all of them, a bit defensive with all the attention he just got. “The house leaders persecuted, all that with Lonato, Miklan getting the lance when he hasn’t been able to get near Gautier in years. Flayn.” Silence. “It’s strange, all that happening in just a few months. Something like this doesn’t sound so wrong after all that.”

“I” Dimitri tried to reign in his voice. “I don’t know what this means. I don’t…I don’t know what I can do with this. Or if I will do something.” His eyes shone dark for a second, something else overpowering the Dimitri that had been talking to them all for a second, sending a chill through Sylvain’s bones. It left as fast as it came, but it still sparked the worry in his mind. “But you all deserve to know.” A pause. “I don’t now what the other house leaders will tell the rest. Just to be safe, try not to talk about it with them.”

And with that, the issue was concluded as Dimitri exited the room, Dedue in tow. The rest remained there, silent and uncomfortable and very much conflicted with everything they heard. After remaining silent for all this time, the Professor moved.

“You don’t have to deal with this right this moment. You have classes to attend, more missions next week and things to do. Give yourselves some time to think about it.” She looked at them. Maybe it was just his impression, but she looked…sad. Scared? He couldn’t tell. “There are many things you still have to do. And a few people you need to meet.” They all looked at her confused, even Ashe and Felix, who’d been relatively calm after having all that time to reflect on the issue. She smiled, furthering rather than lowering their concern that something was definitely wrong. “You’ll see tonight.”

She left then, no class today, leaving them with more to deal with in their minds that they had expected when they woke up that morning.

One by one, they all began leaving the class, their heads low and silence engulfing them. Sylvain run up to Felix as he left towards the training grounds (what a surprise).

“Felix.” He noticed his tone was more serious than usual, but he couldn’t help it. He wasn’t the biggest of believers, but he had grown up under the Goddess’ teachings. Rejecting them in anyway felt…a bit wrong, to say the least.

Felix turned to him, gesturing for him to finish what he wanted to say so he could leave.

“Tell me what happened yesterday. Everything.” They looked at each other, silent. He shrugged.

They sat on a bench as Felix talked, his voice quiet but seemingly filling the air with the severity of the situation without saying anything on what he truly thought about it.

“I don’t trust him.” He sad suddenly, looking at the ground with a frown on his face. Sylvain woke up from his thoughts at that, confused.

“Who?”

“Riegan.” His glare intensified. At Sylvain’s confused look, he shook his head. “He’s getting close to Dimitri. I don’t know if we can trust him doing that.”

“Why do you say that?” The pause that indicated that, whatever the reason, Felix was not going to tell him. Not now at least. He decided to try something. “I don’t know, he seems like a nice enough guy. It’s not like you can’t just interrogate him with that intimidating act you have.” He smiled at him, trying to cheer him up. It didn’t work. He looked at him, his eyes shining with intensity.

“I can’t after he…” He stopped, uneasiness painted all over his face, before he turned again to glare at the ground. “He hides something. I don’t know what, but it seems big.”

They remained silence. _I have to give him that,_ thought Sylvain, thinking back at the interactions he’d had with Claude, the distance he kept from people while actively trying to meet and get along with everyone.

_Time will tell_ , he thought, calmer now, as the weight of everything he’d known cam crushing on him in that quiet morning, the sun raising as both him and Felix looked as their world started cracking.


	18. Others

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Today's chapter is a bit shorter, but things are getting started at last and I really don't want to get into heavy plot when I have exams next week, so I'm leaving this here.  
> Enjoy!

Dorothea released the breath she felt she had been holding all night. She was exhausted, the events of the day catching up to her with devastating speed. But she knew she couldn’t sleep yet.

While in Abyss, she had been careful not to drift too far from Edie. She didn’t look it (she never showed what she was feeling, not if she could help it), but the revelation of the secrets hidden under the monastery had submerged her in an internal struggle that, apparently, she wasn’t able to shake herself off.

As she watched her wandering the library, drifting through pages and pages without actually paying attention to anything in them, not fully at least, Dorothea wished Hubie had been the one coming down here with her. Those two came back a long way, the trust they had in each other (and the outright devotion he felt for the future empress) something the Edie needed. Dorothea believed Lin when he said that Hubie was probably lurking around, just out of sight, getting any information he could from this place, but she believed that, if anything, he should be here for her friend.

After a while, the blank stare in Edie’s eyes faded away slightly, her eyes focused on the books and the people around them. Dorothea noticed that the Professor came by occasionally, approaching the door and looking inside for a few seconds just to leave right after. Each time, she noticed how Edie’s eyes turned harder to absorb everything she read, not lifting her head from the book.

And there was so much to process. Dorothea was no fervent believer, she had always made that pretty clear. You spend a good portion of your childhood wandering on the streets and you end up forgetting about the Goddess for a good portion of that time just to remember to curse her when things turned particularly bad. But, even knowing that, she still remembered the faces of people like Marianne when thinking about her, her hands constantly joint together in some kind of search for repentance that, in a weird way that Dorothea didn’t really understand, seemed to bring her some kind of comfort, a strength on which to really on when things got particularly hard. _This is probably why I suck at light magic_ , she thought, the reminder of that fact still fairly present at the back of her mind.

“Dorothea, are you okay?” Dorothea almost jumped from the surprise at hearing her friend talking after the prolonged silence she had been into. “You’ve been staring at that book for a while.”

She promptly closed it, realising she hadn’t held onto anything she had read.

“I’m alright Edie. I think I should be the one asking you that, don’t you think?” She avoided her gaze, which only made Dorothea smile.

“Everything is fine Dorothea, there’s no need to worry. It has been…” She turned her eyes for a second towards the empty door, the noises from people talking barely reaching them at the second floor of the library. “a long day.”

Dorothea wondered if she should push further.

“You can always count on me if you need to talk Edie.”

She smiled faintly, something real shining there.

“I know Dorothea. Thank you.”

They remained quiet for a while.

“What are we going to tell them?” She asked, not really knowing if she wanted to know the answer.

People like Lin or Hubie could take what they learned here in a stride, the first one already immersed in books and happy as a child with a new toy. It was mainly the rest she worried about.

She wasn’t particularly worried about Caspar, as he could follow Lin off a cliff without thinking twice about it, so she doubted this could shake him. She thought about Bern, always afraid of something or other. The thought of what would happen to her if she learned she hadn’t escaped her father to a truly safer place…

Petra’s smile that night, the flowers illuminating her face in Dorothea’s mind came to mind. _In Brigid, it is said the spirits are all around us, guarding us from the exterior world and guiding our ways_ , she had said. The Goddess held no power over her, the spirits were the ones who really guided her. Dorothea wished she could believe in them, just a little. Maybe, if they were real, they would guide her to Petra. A small part of her hoped so.

But there was another person to worry about.

She still didn’t really like Ferdie, even though he had come to grow on her bit by bit from their very first encounter all those years ago, seeing him getting on well with people like Sylvain and, weirdly enough, Ingrid, as well as that strange friendship that joined him with someone as shy as Marianne. It was that feeling that made her worry about what he’ll do if he learns about this, as he sees his beliefs and, almost most importantly in his case, his family’s beliefs being questioned. She didn’t know what to think really.

She didn’t know what to think too when, suddenly, other faces came to her mind when thinking about what to do. Marianne’s benevolent expression, her gaze lowered the moment Lady Rhea was close, but her eyes truly shining whenever she was in the stables. Lysithea’s serious eyes, her lips pursed, her drive and honest effort shining through the hardest of troubles. Ingrid who, despite her blunt exterior, was the most loyal person she’d ever met. Even Dedue’s quiet figure came to mind, always a shadow to Dimitri, but a kind one, a careful one.

She looked around them, at a library now almost empty, only Lin and Ashe remaining there, Claude and Dimitri just stepping out. She remembered Hilda’s eyes the moment they landed on everything that was stored here, the knowledge of the possibilities held in this place, as well as the danger, sinking in her fast, so fast she took Leonie and trying to leave Claude space to think, hoping to learn what she really needed to know later. Even freaking Felix, who had taken a look at Dimitri and turned around, a barely audible “I’ll check the perimeter” muttered as he exited.

All those faces flooded her mind as she looked at Edie, who looked back at her with a calculating look.

“Don’t think we can keep this hidden from the rest of the eagles after tonight.” She looked at the place the other house leaders had been standing on just a few minutes ago, Claude devouring information, Dimitri pretending to pay attention and failing miserably. “Dimitri will surely tell everyone of the Blue Lions. He trusts them completely. As for Claude…” She squinted her eyes. Dorothea knew what she meant. Edie shook her head. “As long as we keep it among the students I believe we are safe. We should just watch out for Flayn from now on.”

“Flayn?”

That took Dorothea off guard. Edie turned to her, fast, her violet eyes flashing before the emotion died in them, a coldness filling the space that separated the two girls.

“After today, it would be logical that she would be placed in one of our classes. She’d been insisting on getting in since forever, and the Professor…she seems willing to let some things slide lately.”

Dorothea really wanted to press forward. Edie had never been so open with her, not ever. That’s why she remained silent. For now at least.

“Don’t know how you’ll tell Ferdie about this honestly. He would most likely challenge you to a duel to defend the Church’s honour or something.”

A small smile crept on Edie’s expression until a thoughtful look replaced it, her hand moving to rest on her chin. She shrugged.

“We can just let Hubert deal with it. It would be beneficial for both of them to get into a fight or something. All this tension is getting ridiculous.”

Dorothea laughed loudly, all the tension leaving her body. Edie smiled and, for a moment, she thought she saw part of the tension on her shoulders lessen. She smiled wider. If she could take something from today, maybe she could take that. Helping a friend looked like a light among all the darkness she felt they were immersing themselves into.

* * *

She exited the class as the rest of the eagles threw questions at Edie as daggers, with Ferdie looking alternatively from her to Lin to Dorothea, as if the harder he looked, the faster he could make sense of everything. She felt bad for him, and for Edie to be stuck dealing with the issue with a very uncooperative (as always) Lin and a Hubie who remained mostly silent looking at all of them in a weird gesture of something close to tact. But she needed to take a breather.

The air was getting chillier, the Horsebow Moon ending and the change of season making itself apparent. She waited close to the wall, trying to guard as much as possible against the wind, when the doors burst open and a very indignant Ferdie walked out, his eyes on the floor and walking right ahead towards the training grounds. Seconds after came Hubie, his steps much calmer, but his objective so fixed he didn’t even notice Dorothea there. Not knowing what to do, she watched from afar, making sure not to come to close to them but, at the same time, keeping an eye, just in case things escalated.

She watched as Hubie caught up to him fast, his hand landing on his shoulder and effectively stopping him on his tracks. But Ferdie wasn’t in the mood to be civil.

“Don’t you dare come at me with any more on this. I’ve had enough of this. Enough! Leave me alone.”

“You are overreacting Ferdinand. What would your father say if he saw you acting so emotionally over something like this? Collect yourself.”

Dorothea held the urge to march to Hubie and beating the shit out of him at that time. No one, not even Ferdinand, with all his flaws, deserved to have his feelings invalidated in that way. Specially when his worldview comes crumbling down bit by bit in front of him.

But she didn’t need to worry much about him.

She couldn’t see it, but she felt the moment Ferdinand turned to him by the sound of Hubert taking a few steps back.

“You think this is simple? Do you realise what you are talking about here? Here, of all places?!” His voice grew in volume, which scared Dorothea for a moment but he seemed to collect himself before speaking again. “Do you realise the danger Edelgard is getting herself into? How she is risking the future of the Empire if she keeps going on with this? The future of all of us?”

There was a silence after that, both of them growing so quiet Dorothea wanted to come out of her hiding place to see if they were still there.

“Did you ever think about the others when you told us this?”

“The rest were taking it…” began Hubert, just to be immediately interrupted.

“I mean the rest! Claude, Dimitri, Marianne, Ingrid, Annette, Ignatz, all of them!” He stopped. “You didn’t, did you? DO you think I will be the only one with doubts? The only one confused with this?”

“We needn’t care for the rest. They are being dealt with by the other house leaders. The dealings of the Kingdom and the Alliance are none of our concern apart from…”

“Of course it’s our concern!” He shouted, his voice growing more full with emotion with every word that fell out of his mouth. “They are our friends! They are our allies. Look me in the eyes and tell me you’ve never talked to Lysithea about magic, or to Sylvain about strategy. Tell me you’ve never looked past their positions as the children of nobles and commoners and talked to them as friends, as companions.” His voice broke. “Tell me, tell me and I will agree with you, and this will always be a burst of emotion on my part and I will just be the Prime Minister the Adrestian Empire and Edelgard need of me, the rest of the world be damned.”

The silence that followed was deep, Dorothea finding herself holding her breath, not wanting to risk breaking what was happening between them. Not wanting to fully realise how they’ve all grown together so much it has been growing more and more terrifying every day. Every day.

“You can’t.” Ferdinand’s voice sounded oddly calm, but kinder than Dorothea believed him capable of, believed anyone to act close to someone normally as intimidating as Hubie. “You can’t, and that’s why you don’t get to avoid this, you don’t get to ignore the difficult parts in this, even though deep down I know Edelgard and you both had thought about them. You can’t be only following orders in this. And…” The anger came back, intensely this time. “you don’t get to bring my father, or my emotions, into this. Because its because I know, now I know how this could turn if it gets out of control and we forget that not everyone is an enemy. And you can call me a coward, but I can’t enter into whatever this could turn into without seeing the face of Marianne, the face of Ashe at the end of my spear.”

Hubert remained so silent Dorothea wondered if Ferdie’s words had just turned him to stone, right then and there. When Ferdie next spoke, he just sounded tired.

“I need time. Alone.”

As his steps grew quieter Dorothea looks for a way out when a voice emerged.

“You can come out now. He’s gone.”

_Did I really think the Minister of the Imperial Household’s son, the minister in charge of assassinations and espionage, didn’t really notice anyone eavesdropping on him_ , she thought as she cursed under her breath.

“He’s right you know? It’s not like the Empire can survive on his own. Fodlan is not exactly well connected, even when at peace, and that is coming from a former diva, who’s done her first share of travelling around the continent.”

Hubie looked at her. She had always thought his oddly bright green eyes didn’t fully belong, with all his “creature of the night” persona. But she didn’t imagine the real emotion in those eyes.

“He’s gonna get hurt if he keeps going in that direction.” He looked in the direction he had left. “Maybe he doesn’t know how the rest will react, but he can’t say for sure the rest will have any doubts selling him to the Church if they detect any wave in his loyalty.”

Dorothea looked at him. They always fought, from the moment they arrived to the Monastery, their personalities clashing in every meaningful way. But…

“You really care about him.” She said, not knowing how the other will react but wanting him to. Hoping he does.

“The Empire needs him, though not as much as it needs Lady Edelgard. And…” He stopped, as if wondering if he should continue. “We all need someone like him. To keep us on the ground.”

Dorothea thought she had seen how bad the situation could turn, after everything they learned of the other face of the Church.

But maybe she didn’t think big enough. Not yet.

* * *

Sylvain walked down the corridor, alone, his conversation with Felix leaving him thinking hard about more people than he’s used to worry about on his daily life, when a voice made him stop on his tracks.

“Sylvain.”

Behind him stood Edelgard, the regal air around her somehow still intact even though he was pretty sure she, as Dimitri, hadn’t slept a wink all night.

“How may I help you, Your Majesty?” He said, mockingly. He had gotten to know her a bit on their classes together, learning that she, as Dimitri, wasn’t too fond of other people referring to her by her title. Though, for some reason, she made a pass when a mocking tone was added to the words. But Sylvain didn’t think any other person had called her that way, maybe for good reason ( _if I have to die, being killed for this doesn’t sound too bad_ , he thought, smiling to himself).

“We’ve postponed it enough don’t you think?”

The events of the day after came rushing into his mind, too much information leaking into his brain to truly hold onto anything. And then it hit him. She realised, as she smiled before saying:

“I believe it will be a truly revealing game.”

And, then, he remembered all, not only Edelgard's game. It was the next moon. The Battle of the Eagle and Lion was coming.


	19. Who

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, I'm finally back!!!! YAYYYYYYY.  
> At last my exams are done. I've been so exhausted lately that I've barely been able to write anything but, this over a long time resulted in this monster of a chapter. My god I didn't expect to write this much.   
> As always, hope you enjoy this one too!

Sylvain kept walking towards his room. The prospect of whatever Edelgard had planned during the chess game (which very obviously was more than it appeared to be) loomed over his head when he noticed someone in the corridor.

Dimitri loomed in front of a door that definitely wasn’t his own, his fist half risen but not moving towards the door. Sylvain moved to remain as hidden as possible. For a minute he felt bad about spying on his own king, but that feeling lasted as long as Dimitri took to find his courage and knock on the door.

The sound lingered in the air for a second, until the door opening, revealing Claude. Sylvain was too far away to actually understand their conversation, but he knew Claude had said something, to which Dimitri remained quiet, only raising slightly his hand, showing him something in it. Claude looked from it to Dimitri and back to it, before looking from side to side of the corridor, probably almost catching a glimpse of Sylvain before grabbing his king by the arm and pulling him into the room.

Sylvain waited a moment, making sure they had moved away from the door before walking quietly to the next door over, knocking it so softly he worried its occupant wouldn’t hear it.

He shouldn’t have worried as Felix seemingly slept with an eye open even in his own room (though after what they heard about the Church, the place where they were staying, maybe it was for the best). He opened his mouth to speak but Sylvain quickly covered it with his hand, raising his other to his lips to indicate they should be quiet about this. Felix returned his look with a glare but nodded. As soon as he did, Sylvain lowered his hand and entered the room.

He didn’t want to admit it, he didn’t know why he was doing this. His nerves were on edge. The things he had learnt, Edelgard’s still standing offering, now Dimitri acting like he’d seen a ghost, it was too much in such a short time. He needed to know what was going on, even if only about one thing. Even if this lead to more questions afterwards.

He walked to the wall that separated Felix’s room from Claude’s. In the time they’ve been here, Sylvain realised the walls, though sturdy, weren’t exactly thick, allowing at least part of the sound to come through between them (he had learnt that the hard way with a very awkward conversation with Dimitri about his night activities, embarrassing both of them in the process).

Felix looked at him for a moment, the interrogation obvious on his face (or maybe it was the years learning each and every expression that face could make). Sylvain turned to him, pleading. After a staring contest that seemed to last forever, Felix walked towards him and positioned himself beside him, his right ear towards the wall and staring at him, defiant. Sylvain smiled gratefully and listened.

“It’s her dagger!” From the wall came the voice of Dimitri, who was almost shouting. “It’s hers!”

He sounded hysterical, fixated. But pleading, as if hoping to be wrong, for everything to prove false.

“Whose?” Claude’s voice came calm and collected, almost hard to hear, like the voice one used to calm a frightened animal.

“This…this was my dagger. The one I gave to her, before she left.” Dimitri’s voice came back, the sadness seeping in and leaving a knot in Sylvain’s heart.

“Dimitri, who are you talking about?” the answering voice came truly worried, almost warm with the harshness of Dimitri’s to contrast.

“My…my friend’s. She lived in Fhirdiad for a while. Before…” Dimitri sounded calmer somehow now.

“Where did you find it?” Claude continued to subtly interrogate him, careful not to set him off at any point.

“The Professor and I saw…someone…the Flame Emperor she called them.”

There was a pause as the news sank in. Sylvain looked at Felix, whose eyes were wide open now and attentive, looking at him with surprise reflecting off them.

What was the Flame Emperor doing here a day after Flayn’s kidnapping? How could he move freely on the Academy’s grounds, without anyone noticing? How was that related to the dagger Dimitri was talking about?

“Did they have the dagger?” Came Claude’s voice, still calm but quiet, with Sylvain having trouble hearing it through the wall.

There was silence, which left Felix and Sylvain hanging on the answer to that question until:

“Maybe you should go to sleep Dimitri.” Said Claude, his voice kind but there was an undertone of authority behind it.

“But Claude, they could be out there, doing who knows what and... and…”

“That’s why” Claude cut him off. “we should rest up and think about it when our heads are clearer.” There was a pause, presumably Dimitri not being to keen on that proposal. “You are running on more that a day without rest. You need to sleep.” Another pause, Claude’s voice turning softer, so soft Sylvain didn’t catch it all. “…help you. Please.”

There was silence on the other side and both Felix and Sylvain held their breaths, not wanting to miss anything.

“Goodnight Claude. I’ll try. I promise.” Dimitri’s voice sounded agreeable, but there was a cold undertone to it.

“Dimitri.” Said Claude, trying to call his attention, but the sound of the door closing signalled that Dimitri had left.

Felix and Sylvain remained glued to the wall trying to catch anything else, but Claude didn’t open his mouth again, no more sounds filtering to Felix’s room.

As they moved further from the wall, Sylvian noticed his head running a mile an hour. What had Dimitri said about a dagger? Why did that sound so familiar somehow?

But his train of thought was interrupted by Felix, who was staring at him with his arms crossed, waiting for some explanation it seemed. It took a moment for Sylvain to gather his thoughts again to actually form a cohesive answer.

“I just…saw Dimitri in front of Claude’s door before.” He said, his voice still quiet just in case Claude thought about playing a reverse card on them and listen in on their conversation. “He didn’t seem like himself. And you talked about Claude before so…I don’t know.” He threw his hands to his head, grabbing his hair slightly as if that would clear his head somehow. “I shouldn’t have listened.” He concluded, seeing Felix’s eyebrow form a perfect arch as he said those last words.

“As much as the Boar will still be the Boar” He began, as always choosing to be as kind with his words as a knife to the ribs. “he’s been getting closer to the future leader of the Alliance. Too close. So close the other he’s catching onto how to talk to him. How to convince him to do things.” He looked serious, almost convinced, and, for a moment, the pieces in Sylvain’s mind started to paint a picture of what Felix saw when he saw those two together. “So close the Boar comes to him, not to Dedue or any of us for counsel of what to do.”

“Do you actually think Claude is manipulating Dimitri? I don’t believe you.”

He didn’t know why, but he felt it, the fact that Felix didn’t actually believe all he just said. And, for once, he wanted to try to push further with him. See how far he could go. For this, he took a step forward, making sure his eyes remained steady onto his friend’s.

Felix returned his look, but said nothing, just looked at him for a long moment, before speaking.

“No. Not now at least.” He admitted, which said something about Claude’s ability to worm his way into people’s good side if someone like Felix didn’t immediately think the worst about him. “The problem is, he can.”

After what Sylvain had heard, he couldn’t deny him that. The way they spoke, the Dimitri had gone to him, not to any of the people with who he’d spent the majority of his life with, said a lot about the trust he had gained for him. But it maybe said more about them.

“You don’t dislike Claude right?” He asked instead, not knowing if he should bring the other topic up, just in case it would make Felix be too on edge. After a while, avoiding his look, he answered.

“No. He is…a competent archer. And his strategies are good. Against the Death Knight…”

He stopped there, his eyes lost, which made him remember another part of what they learned.

“The Flame Emperor is in the monastery.” He blurted, which made Felix turn his eyes back to him. “They can’t be from the outside, the entrances are too heavily guarded. They are here.” A chill run through his spine. “But why? Why risk being seen when you can hide and create a more effective strategy? It makes no sense with what little we know about the Flame Emperor.”

Felix continued looking at him, his expression guarded but clearly listening as Sylvain tried to wrap his brain around the questions that kept emerging. He didn’t notice when, but he had sat on the bed, his left hand tugging on his hair as Felix stared from the opposite wall.

He came closer at some point and put his hand on the one that kept on tugging on his head, gently, so gentle Sylvain couldn’t believe it was Felix the one in front of him, undoing his fist and dropping his hand on his lap. He massaging his hand, his joints stiff from the force but coming undone at Felix’s touch. Sylvain could feel his nerves calming down and his thoughts quieting as he watched, in a trance.

They stayed like that until he felt himself relax from the initial shock, the quiet care in Felix’s movements, so dislodged from his usually abrasive attitude, quieting everything in the room, making it seem like there’s, once again, nothing to worry about. He looked into his friend’s eyes, always the most expressive part of his face, the most honest, and saw worry, barely concealed among his concentrated expression. He felt the impulse to move his other hand to his face and erase that worry, making him feel the same ease as his presence always brought Sylvain.

That’s when he took back his hand and stood up, knowing if he stayed longer he would do something he would regret. Felix’s eyes moved to his’ then and he smiled, trying with all his might to keep everything he wanted to do to him behind it.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t want to involve you in this.” The scowl reappeared on Felix’s face, an indication that he hadn’t liked what he said one bit but he kept going. “I’ll leave you to sleep. ‘Night.”

And with that he pushed towards the door, knowing the moment he crossed to the other side all his worries about the things he’d heard will come back to crush him, but worrying that there were no excuses to remain there. Nor that there will ever be.

But then he felt a tug on his arm, so hard he almost fell backwards if it weren’t for Felix pushing him against the door and turning him around to face him, his eyes blazing with a hidden feeling. For a moment Sylvain felt like he could get lost just looking at him, his heart pounding in his ears as he felt the others concern, his care. Sometimes he forgets, even with all the years he’d spent with him. Nobody feels more intensely, more fiercely than him. Even for him.

It seemed like time stopped, Felix’s hand holding him in place without putting any force into it. The silence spread and Sylvain couldn’t stop looking at him. He noticed his eyes drifting towards his lips and he knew he was loosing it, because he could have sworn Felix did the exact same thing.

But, just as fast as it occurred, the moment was broken, Felix’s eyes moving away and Sylvain felt his muscles loosen up, the tension broken.

“You don’t have to be alone if you don’t want to.” It was barely a whisper, but they were so close ( _when the fuck did we get this close?_ ) that Sylvian got it perfectly, his eyebrows raising involuntarily in surprise. “You…you can stay. If you want.”

Alarms started sounding in his brain, so hard that without really thinking, he allowed his flight response take the reigns of his brain, the rest of it too exhausted of the experiences of the day.

“Are you inviting me to your bed Felix? Didn’t know you could be so daring.” He said, knowing that would piss off Felix enough to remove his offer. As his words sank in on Felix, his expression breaking into something more guarded, his previous worry disappearing, he continued. “Don’t worry, I’ll leave you alone already. I know that you can’t get enough of me, but let’s not overwhelm you.”

He intended to make it into a joke, something stupid to get Felix a bit angry, just enough for him not to worry about him, and then use the opening to leave. But Felix’s expression was cold, so cold a part of him wanted to take it all back, hug him tightly and stay in his room as long as it would take to drive that expression away. But it was just a part of him, so tiny that it was overpowered by the rest, so terrified of the idea of any more closeness to his childhood friend that fleeing seemed like the only good option.

He tried to smile, but it felt forced, so he turned to open the door and moved out of the room, the coldness of the corridor making him shiver slightly. He heard Felix move to close the door, his steps more silent than the sound of the door but he didn’t look back. Maybe that’s why that part of himself, that quiet, honest part gathered enough strength to finally speak.

“I’m sorry” he said, not really knowing if Felix would hear him. “I’ll be fine. I promise.”

And he left, entering his room and closing the door behind him. He got to bed, not bothering to change his clothes, and wrapped himself in the blankets. But, no matter how long he stayed like that, the cold seemed to have sank to his bones. As he felt asleep, the last thing he heard was a maniacal laugh and someone calling his name in the distance.

* * *

He walked into the room were he and Edelgard had agreed to meet with his eyes begging him to get back to his bed and try to sleep properly (though he knew that the only thing he would accomplish by doing so would be to keep turning around on his bed for who knew how many hours more). But he was already running late and he really didn’t want to be stuck with his thoughts a minute longer.

He had been avoiding Felix the whole day, making sure they didn’t have to cross paths with each other. Noticing this, Ingrid gave him a few stares, asking him what was going on, but he lied to her and continued with his days, being sure he didn’t convince her in the slightest but glad she seemed to have noticed how bad he was feeling and decided to leave him alone. He didn’t know how long that would last, but he run with it.

Edelgard was already in the room when he arrived, Hubert right behind her as her faithful shadow. He wondered how she got someone like Hubert to profess such devotion to her, their closeness reminding him of Dimitri and Dedue, but in a different way. Claude was already there too, toying with a pawn he had picked up from the board and throwing a grin at him when he entered. But they weren’t alone.

Standing against the opposite wall was a man with long violet hair and an expression that screamed “I could steal all your money and you would thank me”. He stared at Sylvain, eyeing him up and down, as if sizing him up, before smiling.

“I believe we haven’t met yet. You can call me Yuri. I’m one of the people this guys met a few nights back.”

Sylvain looked alternatively at the other three people in the room, from Claude’s slightly amused expression to Edelgard’s disapproving gaze. He shook his head, too tired to be too faced and smiled at the stranger.

“Nice to meet you. I’m Sylvain. Nice to see someone else decided to join the party.” He turned to Edelgard. “So, how are we doing this?”

She turned to him then, all the annoyance disappearing from her expression, substituted by something Sylvain couldn’t quite identify. She turned to all of them.

“I will play against Claude now, while Hubert will play against Hubert. Sylvain, you will play against whoever wins between Hubert and Yuri.”

And with that, the four sat down and began playing. This left Sylvain time to check all of them.

Hubert was, for lack of a better word, ruthless, but the moment he realised Yuri was driving him into his game without him noticing almost made Sylvain burst out laughing, driving Yuri to smirk and say “That’s too bad, eh Hubie?”, which just destroyed Sylvain’s composure. Hubert won in the end, but it was so matched that Hubert didn’t drop any death threats, which was a win.

The other game was more tense. Sylvain knew for a fact that people like Edelgard, so composed and serious, didn’t mix particularly well with someone as Claude, who had a tendency to never take anything seriously if he could help it and teasing others as far as he could get away with. But there was an underlying feeling behind their match.

For once, Claude remained quiet for the most part, which was something Sylvain didn’t expect to see. His game had no holes in it, trapping Edelgard in a corner with every move, even though she put up a good fight, as the game continued after Yuri had stood up and Sylvain had taken his place. At some point, when Sylvain was focusing on getting out of the trap Hubert was setting up, Claude spoke, but not to poke fun at his opponent.

“They say someone saw the Flame Emperor yesterday.”

All eyes turned to him at that moment. For a moment, Sylvain forgot about the game, about where he was, and was back in Felix’s room, hearing Claude and Dimitri talking in hushed voices. Yuri’s eyebrows rose, but he gave no comment, while Hubert looked at Claude intensely. Edelgard, meanwhile, looked at the board, picture perfect calmness. But her opponent continued.

“I asked Teach about it too. She saw. And apparently she heard quite a bit too. About the Flame Emperor not being alone, for example.”

The prospect of the Flame Emperor being in the grounds wasn’t something he wanted to think about (though he couldn’t help it, if last night was anything to go by), but the idea that they weren’t the only threat in their future made his brain go ballistic.

Edelgard finally looked back at Claude the moment he mentioned the Professor, but her expression remained carefully blank as she answered.

“I’ve heard about it too actually. The Professor told me. I’ve actually been on the look out since we rescued Flayn. I don’t know how they got inside the Monastery though. Some kind of teleportation magic I suppose.”

Claude looked at her for a moment, then back at their game, and then back at her, his smile restored.

“Glad you are informed. I wanted the three house leaders to be aware of it at least. And it doesn’t hurt if the people from Abyss are on the look out, just in case.”

Yuri looked at him, his expression serious for the first time since Sylvain had seen him, and nodded, his thoughts running through his eyes but none of them coming to the surface.

Claude then looked at Sylvain, his smile charming enough but his eyes told a different tale. They were calculating, as if he didn’t know if he should press further on the issue or if he should leave it at that. So Sylvain decided to give him an opening, because, after this, he had reached to some conclusions himself.

“Probably nothing that the Professor can’t handle. She’s been running around the Monastery non-stop for the last few days, if someone is hiding, she will find him one of these days.”

It was quiet after that, the four of them resuming their game. Sylvain got beat up by Hubert after a while, his sleep-deprived brain only able to do so much, while Claude defeated Edelgard in a game Sylvain was pretty sure he would have lost in two minutes.

He then moved to sit in front of Edelgard as Claude sat with Yuri, Hubert earning a rest after his wins. When in front of her, Sylvain suddenly felt nervous, the memories from last night connecting to a very distant memory, one that he didn’t expect to be related to his life in any way.

He remembered Dimitri, small as he was with those big blue eyes which seemed too big for his face, running to him one day in distress. His father had to inform the king on the latest events on the border with Sreng and took him along, which at the time he thanked him for, as the trip would mean to be away from Miklan for a while, but he was beginning to get bored of the whole ordeal, as none of his other friends were there and Dimitri had so many lessons he barely had time for him.

“Sylvain, Sylvain! I need your help?” He’d said.

He told him about a friend he had meet a few months before, something about her leaving, but he didn’t catch it all, as the first thing that came out of his mouth was:

“You’ve got a girlfriend?!”

That stopped little Dimitri on his tracks, his blush reaching to his forehead and making him unable to say anything for a while in his embarrassment.

“Sylvain, that’s not it! She’s leaving, and I wanted to give her something, but I don’t know what.” He looked up at him, his eyes hopeful. “You are always talking about girls. do you know what I could give her to say goodbye?”

He remembered standing there, not sure what to say. He’d just reached puberty and escaped to the town near Gautier Manor to play around with people his age, getting him to meet a few girls and play around for the first time. But Dimitri was still that innocent, sheltered child, so for him, he may have seemed like a fully fledged adult at that time, which made wonders to the ego of the Sylvain of that time, but deeply embarrassed him later in his life.

“Well, each girl likes one thing. Did you have something in mind?” He’d asked, not really sure what to say to help his friend and keep been cool in his eyes.

“I…I thought about giving her a dagger. You know, like the one of the tale.”

Sylvain looked at him for a second, dumbfounded. Dimitri was talking about an old Faerg tale that Glenn had told them a while ago.

It talked about a war that occurred a long time ago, and how a king, not wanting to see anymore bloodshed, sat with his enemy and tried to reach an agreement to end it. It was hard, but their rival agreed to make peace, but on one condition: the king must send his right-hand man to work for the enemy, and the other would do the same, to see if they were actually taking steps into maintaining their alliance. But they could never return to their home. 

The king though about it. He’d spent so long with his right-hand, they’d fought together for so long, and he knew she had a family of her own. He didn’t want to, but she approached him and smiled, telling him it was okay and that, no matter what, peace should be the thing they should strive for, no matter her personal cost.

So the king, the day she was leaving, put a dagger on her hand and told her, “no matter what enemies stand in your way, make sure to cut a way for your own future and remember, you’ll always have a place to call home here”.

But the Sylvain of that time could only think that a dagger was something you gave to a soldier, not a normal kid, so he laughed at Dimitri. He laughed until tears were overflowing his eyes, and then he stopped and pat his back, saying, “well, you know her better than me, I’m sure she’ll like anything you give her anyway”.

But now, he remembered Dimitri’s voice last night, the plead, the hurt, saying “my friend”. The voice of the child Dimitri coming back to him, as the colour drained from his face.

He looked at Edelgard, her deep violet eyes rising to his’, but there was no anger, nor suspicion in them. She looked back at him as if it was a challenge, as if she could read all the thoughts in his mind.

He remembered the Edelgard that just a month ago had taught him how to strike an enemy down with an axe properly. The Edelgard that had fought against Hilda with her fists and had taken notes on everything that went wrong in their duel when she almost sent her tumbling across the room. The Edelgard he had caught talking to Lysithea and Annette, asking them for pointers on how to channel her magic more effectively.

That was the same person that was looking at him right now, waiting for his first move. And he remained quiet, looking at her for a moment, realising he may be looking at the Flame Emperor but that he had no desire to say anything to anyone in the room about it.

He moved his pawn, not fully paying attention, but feeling more awake that he’d felt the whole day. He smiled, but inside, he knew that he needed to dig deeper if he really wanted to know what was going on.

“Your move, Your Highness.”

* * *

The games continued for a while, with him coming on top in number on wins, and Hubert, Edelgard, Sylvain and Yuri falling behind in that order. Claude had hoped to gather more useful information from this encounter really. After Dimitri came to his room last night, he’d spent a good amount of time pondering all the possibilities on how they got in, how the managed to escape and who they actually were, reaching few conclusions and opening many more questions.

He was aware that Edelgard had every corner of the Monastery carefully surveyed, mainly thanks to Hubert’s assistance, so he’d hoped that he could get something out of her in their brief time here. But, as always, the Princess was as closed-up as she appeared to be. Which made him realise that the fact that she was answering his questions at all was more suspicious than anything else.

She knew more than what she told him, that was for sure, as he knew for a fact that no one had come to talk to Teach the whole day as he’d been pestering her for information himself, not sure if approaching Dimitri would be a good idea at the time.

He could remember the distress in his face, how he’d come to him when he didn’t know if he could come to anyone else. How he seemed to calm down slightly when he promised to help him find them and reach the end of this, but his eyes had turned cold at the idea of waiting. Claude knew sleep didn’t come easy for him these days. He knew this wasn’t going to make it easier, as Dedue’s face had turned sour when he asked how Dimitri was feeling that morning.

But she wasn’t the only one that held secrets in that room. Claude was sure that, whatever Edelgard was withholding from them all, Hubert knew about it. Yuri seemed to be pretty well versed on everything that happened both on the surface and in the underground of the Monastery, so he was pretty sure that, if he wanted to get a good picture on how to catch them, he would be his best bet.

But it was Sylvain he was wary about. He had helped him get away from further pressuring Edelgard, but his readiness, and the expression that kept growing as the afternoon progressed, told him that he had pieced something together. How’d he known? What was he missing from this puzzle?

But he’d run out of time for more inquiries, as all of them had no more games to play and no more excuses to keep on prolonging the day. He was moving to leave the room, probably to the library to think in peace, when a voice interrupted him.

“I believe your Professor may have forgotten to inform you all.” Yuri was looking at them as a cat looked at a trapped mouse, which didn’t sit well with Claude when they were on a high floor with only two possible exits. “But, you remember the thing about the Battle of the Eagle and Lion we are having this month?”

Claude looked at him, his eyebrows arching slightly. Yuri had remained mostly quiet for the whole time, his teasing and a few well placed smiles the only sign that he was actually paying attention to most of what was happening around them. But he had, in a moment, taken over the room full of very proud nobles, which wasn’t something Claude saw everyday, even when he was used to seeing Leonie scolding Lorenz on a daily basis.

Finally, Sylvain nodded at him, seemingly as confused as Claude felt.

“Well, just saying, but things are going to change a bit this year. For one, the Ashen Wolves will be participating.” Hubert seemed to open his mouth to say something about that, but Yuri continued, unfaced. “And, apparently, the house leaders are changing houses this year.”

Claude blinked, not knowing if he’d hear right. The rest seemed to be in a similar state. Wait, what?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAAAAAND, here we go with the battle!!! FINALLY.


	20. Fight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I'm so sorry for the late update.   
> There's been so much going on this past weeks that it was almost imposible to do anything that I actually enjoy doing. But I can finally drop this giant of a chapter here and I'm so excited to see if you like it.  
> Enjoy!

Claude looked at the battlefield before him in awe. From the moment he had heard that they would be doing the Battle of the Eagle and Lion (which at the time seemed just like a funny name for an event that the Officer’s Academy took so seriously) he had researched the terrain, part of House Bergliez’s territory, it’s tendency to a humid and hot climate in this time of the year, the terrain’s irregularities, and more. He had trained with his deers for months, tuning in to the way they moved in the battlefield, the way they fought and how better to use them to win. He was ready.

But, just behind him, it was not his faithful deers who awaited his plan, but the Blue Lions, their expressions varying from confusion at the situation (it they just saw him and Edelgard run to Teach to demand explanations when they heard) to barely veiled curiosity at the way he would handle the situation. He saw Hapi at the back, looking at the birds on a near tree as if wishing she could just join them instead of having to participate in this.

Not gonna lie, when he heard, he felt completely and utterly lost at the prospect of having to familiarize himself with a completely different group of people and act as their leader at the same time. But, although at the beginning he opposed to the idea, he realised he could have been dealt far worse cards than the Blue Lions. For one, they were the class which had earned the most relics, with Ingrid, Sylvain and Felix already ready to wield them (though the rules of the battle didn’t allow them to use them). Second, they were diligent to a fault and, used as they were to a rigid hierarchy of command (in the Kingdom they were traditional in that way Dimitri told him), they moved forward as a unit, prepared to crush their enemies in a swift move.

But, although he trusted he had gained some trust from most of them during the month after he’d learnt about how this battle was gonna work (even Dedue, who took better that he though he would the fact that he would have to face Dimitri in the battlefield), there was someone who still didn’t seem to keen to follow his command.

Felix looked at him from the side, his brow turned (as always). There was no doubt that he was one of the best warriors in the group, his speed nothing to scoff at. But his tendency to work on his own and his barely veiled distrust towards him made him particularly difficult to deal with.

In his moment of doubt, he had turned to Sylvain and Ingrid for advice, just for them to give him different versions of “If we knew how to handle him, we would”, which, at the beginning, just discouraged him more.

But he had had a whole month to get used to his new team, getting to know them on a personal level this time (not just his flights with Ingrid and Ashe’s smiles after their archery practice). And, in addition to learning about their abilities and other characteristics (such as Dedue’s terrific cooking ability and Annette’s songstress tendencies), he had a plan to deal with Felix. He just needed to test it out (and hope it doesn’t explode on his face).

“Okay everyone, you know the plan. We will focus our forces on reaching the central mound. Dedue, Sylvain, I want you to lead Ashe there, with Mercedes playing support.” They all nodded in his direction, Sylvain directing him an approving smile that Claude didn’t quite get where it came from but appreciated anyway. “Ingrid, I want you to head east with Hapi and Annette. Take advantage of the terrain and call attention to you to allow them to move more freely towards Edelgard’s position.” They both nodded, Annette squinting her eyes at him in slight confusion.

He turned to Felix this time, with him returning his smile with a more intense glare. He was getting used to them.

“Felix, I want you to head west on your own.” There were a few sounds of protest from the rest, but he payed them no attention, his eyes focused on Felix, whose expression was morphing from mild annoyance to slight interest. “I need you to be discreet in crossing the bridge, as you need to find cover and make it easier for the bulk of the group to advance once we’ve gotten the central mound.” He knew he got his interest already, but he moved fast to secure it. “If Dimitri is smart, he will push Petra and Ferdinand north, maybe with some support from Dorothea or maybe from Bernadetta on the center. Pretty sure they will provide a good fight.”

He didn’t know if he was seeing right, but he swore he saw the glimpse of a smile on Felix’s face before he nodded, his scowl disappearing for the first time since Claude started working with the Blue Lions. He moved to his position in the formation, towards the far west side. Sylvain, right by Claude’s side, approached him then.

“Smart sending him on his own. Having him follow you around would just make him madder and try to take on the first person in his way. Including you.” Claude laughed, not completely sure if Sylvain was joking or not. “But what are you going to do?”

He looked at him attentively. He knew that, out of all the Blue Lions, he was the most likely to catch him if he lied there (except maybe for Mercedes, but he never really got a good read on the woman). So he decided to be honest, at least slightly.

“I’ll cover Felix from afar, just in case he really needs support.” He looked back at the redhead. “But I will count of you to support him once the central mound is secured. I’ll leave you in charge of that side of the battlefield at that point.”

He looked back at him for a moment, the surprise pretty much plastered onto his face but, if he was gonna complain, it was cut short by Seteth’s voice, signaling the beginning of the battle.

* * *

Dorothea walked as quietly as possible, a spell ready to be thrown at the closest threat. Leading the march was Petra, her steps silent against the grass and her hair gathered in a braid Dorothea had seen her build incredibly fast just a minute before, when Dimitri had issued their plan.

The prince had adapted to his new group more easily that she thought he would. In the beginning Hubert had been everything but helpful, his behaviour nothing other than childish at the fact that he couldn’t join Edelgard with the Golden Deer (which had lead to the Professor making him sit out of the battle, fearing he would just loose on purpose if he was sent against Edelgard, being substituted by Yurikins and Balthus, the dynamic the Black Eagles usually had drastically.

But, no matter what they threw at him, Dimitri stood strong, his smile always ready to approach even the unapproachable Bern. Hell, he even got Lin to join practice (when she had asked him how, he had just smiled awkwardly and changed the topic, which convinced her he had some kind of magic too powerful for mere mortals). He frequently had talks with Yurikins and Ferdie, probably the most experienced in battle tactics in the group, to discuss their possible formation in the battle.

“We should go against Claude first.” He’d said one day, which made both Dorothea and Ferdie turn their heads towards him in confusion.

“Your Highness, I don’t want to be rude,” She began, growing nervous at their prospects in the battle. “But don’t you think you’re underestimating too much Edelgard to leave her aside while dealing with Claude?”

“Edelgard is strong and an experienced leader.” He looked at the map in front of him, the one with the lay out of the battlefield and the positions they would all start in. “But the one who will have the most dangerous plan from the second we step onto the battlefield will be him. We should take the Blue Lions out if we want to defeat Edelgard.”

They could all see it was weird for him to refer to his classmates in such a manner, but, on the issue of his strategy, they all remained silent, not sure if that was the best course of action.

“I agree with prince charming here.” All heads turned towards Yurikins, who had remained silent for most of the meeting. “Your princess is terrifying, but in a battle like this one, the one I would look out for is the Riegan kid. He has contingency plans for his contingency plans.”

Dorothea caught the beginning of a smile forming on Dimitri’s face, but it disappeared as fast as it came as he moved to nod at Yurikins, all business again. His words seemed to convince most of them, though Ferdie still looked a bit hesitant. They decided to resume the meeting at that time, leaving the same three to discuss their plans.

Dorothea walked out to find Petra leaning against the wall, her gaze lost in thought. She had her arms crossed and Dorothea could catch the tension on her shoulders.

“It’s not like you to be nervous about a fight.” She summoned what she hoped was a reassuring smile, but she had given up on controlling his facial expression next to Petra.

“Dorothea.” She looked far away, but she turned to look at her. “I am not nervous about the fighting. It is…” She hesitated and looked to both sides.

She took her hand, making all the alarms rise in Dorothea’s head (which made 0 sense if she thought about it, it wasn’t like she was doing any of the things Dorothea wished she would do to her) and leading them further away from the classes.

They ended up in the greenhouse, which at the moment was empty save from Ashe, who nodded towards Petra with a smile before he left. Dorothea caught glimpse of the flower she and Petra had kneeled next to what seemed like a lifetime ago, their faces illuminated in the darkness. The princess turned towards her before her thoughts could wander any further.

“His High…Dimitri,” The prince had insisted in the beginning not to be addressed accordingly, but, as most people from the Empire were educated to never talk to someone like him without the proper etiquette, none of them did save from Petra, who took it very seriously to refrain to do so. “I am thinking he is not okay.”

Dorothea looked at her confused.

“What do you mean?”

“There is something in his eyes. He looks very sad. And very angry.”

Dorothea thought about it. He had seemed like nothing but a gentleman most of the time, she could even say he was a good leader, way more openly close with the rest of the class than Edie even when lacking her inner strength.

But, if she thought about it, she could see how his smiles never quite reached his eyes, them drifting towards the infinity when he thought no one saw.

“I think I get what you mean.” She looked at Petra, who was looking back at her with such intensity she immediately had to avert her eyes. “But he’s a good leader, so I think we can trust him on his strategy here. Besides, Yurikins and Ferdie are with him, and they’ll speak out if something is wrong.”

Petra continued looking at her, her eyes now looking less worried but filled with another feeling that made Dorothea want to hold her face in her hands and do whatever it took to erase it.

And that took her back to the present, their advance north careful, not really knowing if an attack would come their way from the central mound at any time, as they couldn’t see if Bern was still in control of the area.

Yurikins was next to her. The plan was to approach carefully north with a relatively small force while most of the Black Eagles moved east, pretending to move against the Golden Deer while, in reality, moving north to go head on against the Blue Lions. Nonetheless, they needed to be ready to move against Claude, as they didn’t really know what he would be throwing at them.

Suddenly Petra stopped, which sent Dorothea in a frenzy searching their surroundings, looking for the threat, when the other girl moved from cover, standing in the perfect place to get attacked.

She had the instant impulse to move to her, but Yurikins arm stood on her way, indicating to look closer and remain hidden. She nodded, but she almost stood up again when she saw who was approaching.

Felix held his sword on his hand with the confidence of someone who was born doing it. He approached Petra carefully, prompting her to hold her sword in a defensive stance. Dorothea had seen those two train before, the sound of metal clashing ringing in the air for longer that it was supposed to, as if afraid to not be able to keep up with the two.

But they were matched, with Felix coming up ahead in strength and Petra outlasting him most of the time. But what always fascinated Dorothea was that they were fast. Insanely fast.

She was almost surprised by the closeness of the clash she heard, having already tuned out the sounds of the battle far away to concentrate on her mission. That’s when she moved, leaving Petra to deal with Felix, but a question on her mind all the while.

“He’s alone?” She whispered so only Yurikins could hear her but, somehow, she saw Felix look at her, having no idea how he managed to spot her. But she smiled.

At that moment, Petra swung her sword and made him stager back, giving her the momentum she needed to try and push him. But, just as she was moving to strike him down, a fire ball came out of nowhere and pushed her back with a wince, having been able to barely dodge it and earning a burn to her side as a consequence.

The sound of a horse approaching was what made Dorothea look at Sylvain, who stopped next to Felix to face them, lance in hand and smirk ready, a comment at the tip of his tongue that Dorothea didn’t let him finish.

She sent lightening towards Felix, who was still shaken by Petra’s attack and got hit badly on his shoulder, which was almost immediately healed by a healing spell, probably coming from Mercedes somewhere. Yurikins jumped then to face of Felix while Petra tried to fend of Sylvain with her bow.

Dorothea took her chance to heal her, concentrating in making the skin recover its original colour as fast as possible while she assessed the general situation. There was a fight in the central mound, but an arrow flew and imbedded itself on Sylvain’s arm so she guessed Bern was still in control of the situation, but the flashes of magic where getting closer, which meant either Annette or someone with wind magic was approaching fast. She saw that, even though the Golden Deer had clashed against them, they were fewer that Dimitri had expected. From her position she could see the retreating back of Caspar, as he returned to the back, having been defeated, but she could hear Balthus cries from where she stood, which meant they still had a pretty strong fighter with Dimitri to pummel through the Deer’s forces.

She came too when a fireball came straight towards her, making almost no damage but the heat of it making her wince and run towards the central mound, trusting her allies to fend off Felix and Sylvain long enough for her to try to even the situation a bit there.

* * *

Sylvain had to concentrate harder that he had ever done before, Petra’s arrows making it almost impossible for him to get a step closer to where Felix and Yuri were fighting and even the battle a bit.

In the beginning, he had told himself that he wouldn’t run towards Felix at the first sign of danger, as Claude’s plan was good (he was pretty much sure they could win if they kept to it) and he didn’t want to disrupt it just because Felix could ride of the handle and try to fight the Goddess if given the chance. Or worse, he would try to muscle through the Black Eagles’ frontline to try and get a one-on-one with Dimitri, which he was very much capable of.

But all his plans went out the window the moment he saw Felix surrounded by three enemy forces. He had half a mind to remind himself this wasn’t a real battle, and that Felix was gonna be alright, before crossing his eyes with Claude, who was shooting arrows with way more precision that his calm expression leads you to think. The other threw him a half smile and Sylvain needed nothing more to bolt out of the center mound, seeing Dedue right behind him defend Ashe against the incoming arrows and getting gradually closer to the center, Mercedes at their back making sure everything went well and dispatching anyone who could pose a threat to that. He tried to get over the face Felix sent him the moment he saw him appear, a mixture of uncomfortable (they hadn’t really talked much since the incident in his room) and pissed off at seeing him interfering with his fight. But he blocked that out. Not the moment to unpack that.

He sent fire towards Petra but she kept dodging, her arrows raining on him a posing a serious problem. At least he could count on Ashe, who, upon seizing the ballistae, distracted Petra and Yuri enough for Sylvain and Felix to last as long as they were.

It was in one of those instances that Sylvain picked his lance and moved forward, trying to reduce the distance between him and Petra to a minimum for her arrows to have less of an effect against him, giving his lance the advantage on the long run.

He was about to be close enough that he could defeat her when she aimed her shot not at him.

It took Sylvian a moment too long to realise the arrow had flows towards Felix, eliminating him from the fight. The look of frustration on his face reminded Sylvain so much of the times he used to cry because he lost at a game that it brought a small, genuine smile to his face, one that remained there as his lance hit Petra and eliminated her, her eyes rising to meet his in silent acknowledgement.

Felix looked at him, his usual look back in his eyes, the challenge in them telling him that, if he didn’t win this, he would come back to kill him for real. It had been a while since Sylvain had seen that look without immediately averting his eyes, so he felt strong enough to turn his horse towards Yuri, who return his look with a challenge in his smile.

He jumped down, not wanting any harm to fall on his horse and knowing that, even though he loses the height advantage, his lance is still very effective to fend of Yuri.

The other doesn’t miss a chance, jumping to strike him so swift it almost got Sylvain off guard, but so many years watching Felix training and crushing anyone who dared cross him (including Sylvain, leaving him with bruises that wouldn’t disappear in a while) he knew to expect the attack, as well as pushing him as far away as possible to take full advantage of his lance.

But Yuri is a very experienced fighter, probably more experienced than most people here save from maybe that Balthus guy and Teach, so he wasn’t deterred, his smile only increasing the longer they exchanged blows. He was very fast, and Sylvain noticed that his magic had almost no effect on him (whether it was because he was just too tired from overusing it or Yuri was just especially resistant he didn’t know) so he thought of a plan.

He got as far as possible from him, the other immediately trying to close the distance to get the advantage. At that moment, Sylvain threw his lance at him with as much strength as he could muster.

Yuri jumped out of the way, surprised, but he dodged it. But he had gotten off his rhythm, just as he wanted. He took the axe from his back and, remembering how Edelgard had taught her to hold it properly, how to swing it the right way to catch off guard even the fastest opponents, he moved to hit Yuri with it, hitting him hard enough to knock him off his feet and drop his sword.

At that moment Sylvain remembered to breath in, just while Yuri was getting up to retire, an appreciative smile on his face.

“Well played Gautier. You’re not as much of a bad fighter as I thought you were.” He paused for a moment, his smile growing larger. “But you’re still a bit green.”

Sylvain turned then but it was too late and, with a flash of light, he fell to the ground, the last thing he saw before loosing his conscience being who seemed like Lindhart looking down at him, his face blank.

* * *

Claude shot another arrow before readying the next one. This battle was way harder that he had really anticipated. He had seen how Felix got eliminated from his position, leaving Sylvain to fend off Yuri on his own. He couldn’t be sure, but he felt he could pull it off, which was just what he needed to know to give the signal to push further south.

He left Dedue defending Ashe, who had already taken care of Lysithea and Caspar from the ballistae, to aid the fight on the east against the Golden Deer.

He could see Ingrid flying through the air, her pegasus avoiding the projectiles shot her way, probably by Ignatz. He saw too how Hapi dispatched Raphael with an ease that made him somewhat uncomfortable.

“Well, well, look who we have here.”

He knew that voice, and she was the last person he wanted to encounter at the moment.

Hilda looked at him, her axe held on his shoulder almost casually, as she looked at him with mock on her eyes. He was tempted to bolt far from there, search for the element of surprise to take her down faster. But he was too late.

Before he could think about it, he was already dodging for his life, Hilda’s axe faster that an object that big ought to be. He tried to shoot at her a few times, but the strength of her blows and their speed made it impossible to actually aim at her.

“Whoa Hilda, it’s almost as if you’ve wanted to take me out. I’d expect this from Lorenz, but you?”

“Nothing personal Claude, you know.” She smiled at him, her smile mischievous. “Edie is not half bad a commander, she knows how to motivate a lady like me to work a bit.”

“She promised you a day off from your chores right?”

“Yes, yes she did.”

He dodged a particularly bad one and was about to take out his axe and try not to die defending from the blow when the world turned upside down and he was suddenly on the floor, Hilda suddenly over him. He was certain he was getting defeated when a sudden wind came from her side and knocked her to the floor. Immediately after a fireball came down on her, definitely eliminating her.

She looked up at him with a confused look, as if not fully processing what just happened, when the hairs of his arm stood up all at the same time, which was his signal to move out of the way from Dorothea’s attack, which would have definitely eliminated him.

She stood next to the central mound, where Dedue was fending off as he could a very dedicated Balthus while Ashe played support, as Mercedes was busy healing a particularly nasty hit on Annette, who had just received an arrow to her arm while blasting Hilda off Claude’s back.

Claude reacted as fast as he could, readying an arrow that he immediately shot towards Dorothea, who straight up incinerated it with a fireball aimed at him. Claude didn’t falter, shooting the next arrow right after, hitting her on the arm this time. But he wasn’t able to give the finishing blow as, out of nowhere, Annette threw herself at her, axe in hand, and struck her down.

Dorothea looked up at her with a mixture of frustration and amusement at what probably was the image of tiny, meek Annette with an axe on her shoulder.

“Well, you look like a nicer opponent little girl. Care to entertain me for a while?”

Out of nowhere Balthus came crushing on Annette, abandoning his fight against Dedue, who was now entertained trying to keep Lorenk as far away from Ashe as possible with the help of Mercedes, knocking her down so fast Claude could almost see the stars on her eyes.

“Ops, I didn’t mean to hit her so hard. Hey, are you okay? Can you walk?” Balthus looked at her, genuinely remorseful, but soon Annette blinked a few times (probably thanks to a healing spell from the healers that surrounded the battle collecting the injured students who were eliminated) and nodded weakly, a frown on her face at being defeated.

Once he made sure Annette was okay, he turned towards Claude, a wicked smile on his face.

“Look who’s here, if it ain’t the young Riegan. Let’s see how you handle yourself in a fight.”

A chill run through his back. Back in Almyra he had meet numerous men like Balthus, all strength and recklessness. In his experience, the best way to got those types off his back was to show them they couldn’t push him around as they wanted.

But, whenever he looked at Balthus, the only thing he saw was all the life he had built in the Officer’s Academy burned to ashes because he’d been to careless not to think he could encounter someone like Balthus there. So, against all his plans, anger took him over.

He readied an arrow as fast as he could, shooting all of them with perfect aim but not having much effect against Balthus, who defended himself against them with his own fists. He took a few steps backwards, trying to get as far away as possible from him. He noticed the panic rising in his mind, clouding his thoughts. He thought of Hilda looking at him with disgust. Lorenz, the careful cordiality they had built completely destroyed because of him. Dimitri, his eyes full of hatred, as if he didn’t know him.

But, just as he was about to take out his axe and try to defend himself with it against someone with twice his strength and ability in that particular weapon, two flashes of black light blinded him.

Suddenly Hapi was next to him, Balthus on the floor coughing hard from the hit.

“Hey B, you should pay more attention to your surroundings. You almost missed me.”

“You’re always so silent Hapi, it’s your fault.” He laughed, though it sounded a bit strained.

He got up and moved to exit the area, and Claude felt like he could breath again.

“I don’t know if you’ve got something with B, but he’s a good person.” Said Hapi, her words nonchalant but her voice powerful. “Whatever harm you think he will make you, you’re probably overreacting. Now come on, we have to win this thing.”

He looked at her for a moment and shook his head. She was probably right, he shouldn’t be so afraid of him, no matter what information he had. He could probably defend against him, somehow. But, most importantly, this was not the time to be worrying about him. He had a battle to win.

They joined Ingrid, who confirmed that, from the Golden Deer, the only remaining members were Constance, Leonie and Edelgard, while from the Black Eagles Lindhart, Ferdinand and Dimitri remained. Out of all the Blue Lions, Dedue and Mercedes had been eliminated while guarding Ashe, who had finished off Lorenz and was now making arrows rain on Lindhart.

Seeing as they had the superiority in numbers Claude ordered the advance, leaving Ashe behind to continue chipping away at the last healer on the battlefield, which probably wouldn’t last much longer.

He rapidly shot an arrow that injured Constance, which earned him a glare and a fireball that almost burned half of his head if Ingrid’s javelin hadn’t flown in her direction at the moment she recited her spell, causing her to miss and be an easy target for Ingrid to finish off.

Leonie had just finished off Ferdinand after what seemed like a close match (decided mainly but the seer amount of arrows she had shot in his direction to chip away at his stamina) when a spell coming from Hapi dealt the final blow to eliminate her, but not before she shot an arrow that payed her with the same kindness.

Ashe finally managed to eliminate Lindhart (although Claude had the slight suspicion he had just given up at the end and made himself an easy target for him, but he wasn’t complaining) and began shooting arrows at Dimitri, knowing they would have close to no effect on Edelgard. But Claude came prepared.

He took out the magic bow he had gotten just before the battle and shot. Edelgard had been engaged in a pretty fierce battle against Dimitri but, when she felt the arrow piercing her shoulder, she took one of her axes and threw it with impressive precision, hitting Ashe and effectively eliminating him.

She then proceeded to defend against one of Dimitri’s hits, which made Edelgard shake in her place defending from it.

But, before shooting again, Claude noticed something was off with Dimitri. His eyes had turned dark, the coldness he had felt sometimes emanating from them multiplied tenfold as he looked at Edelgard, the grip on his lance strong jet clumsy, as if he was relying more on instinct than on an actual plan there. He wasn’t angry nor completely unstable as there was a mechanic behind his movements, not only brute strength, but he was absent, as if it wasn’t him the one fighting.

In a split second Claude crossed eyes with Ingrid, a plan formed. He continued chipping away at Edelgard, who was too busy defending against Dimitri to actually dodge his attacks while Ingrid threw javelins at Dimitri, which made almost no damage as he dodged most of them, but distracted him enough for Claude to position himself close enough to act.

He made a signal to Ingrid, to which she descended upon Edelgard sword in hand, her pegasus getting pretty tired already from all her need to dodge if she wanted to last. Dimitri, in his abandon to attack Edelgard, pushed forward, even hitting Ingrid with a blow that almost threw her off her pegasus. But he was distracted, which allowed Claude to approach him from behind and, taking out his axe, hitting him in the head with the flat part of it so hard he knocked him over, throwing him to the ground. Ingrid took advantage of that opportunity to descend on Edelgard, but she was ready, though not in the way they expected, as she threw her axe not at her, but at Claude, who got hit on his shoulder so bad he dropped the axe he had on his hand in pain.

But Ingrid had taken the opportunity to take her weapon from her with a swift blow, effectively eliminating her now and ending the battle. Now, he sat on the floor and passed out.

* * *

Sylvain woke up a bit disoriented, the sun shining on him and making him scrunch up his eyes before opening them to a familiar shadow looming over him.

Felix looked at him from above, his face blank but the emotions running underneath like lightening. For a moment, Sylvian allowed himself to bask in the image, in the moment of Felix being there, and the complete absence of worry he felt, as if nothing could go wrong now that they were there, together. Together.

“Are you going to sleep for much longer or should I kick you to the healers so they check if you lost too many neurons to function?”

Sylvain tried not to laugh, but a smile made its way to his lips, glad that, without knowing how, they seemed to be okay. At least for now.

“I’d prefer you carrying me there actually, but thanks for the offer.”

He moved to try and get up but he fell quiet when he saw Felix kneeling next to him, offering him a hand to help him get up. He threw one of Sylvain’s arms over his shoulder and lead the way, with Sylvain too stunned to speak. But he didn’t need too.

“You didn’t need to do it.” It came out almost as a whisper, but Sylvain knew that that was just his way to make sure no one but him heard him.

Sylvain smiled, noticing a slight redness tinging Felix’s ears.

“No, I didn’t need to.” He said, his tone more honest that he felt he had been in weeks. “But, whenever you need me, I’ll be there Fe. Always.”

He looked firmly at the ground, not wanting to see how his friend reacted to his words ( _Knowing I’m not strong enough to see him reject my words. Reject me_ ), but he didn’t need to, as there was no answer from him but a slight squeeze to his arm, their steps and the growing chatter of people growing stronger.

Sylvain could see the camp with everyone, healers moving around tending to the wounded, a very tired looking Dorothea resting her head on Petra’s shoulder, who gave him a nod and the glimpse of a smile (though he thought that last one wasn’t meant for him). Hubert was there too, even though he hadn’t participated in the battle, talking to Edelgard with quiet voices while he shot discreet glances to the rest of the Black Eagles, his face stoic as ever.

Lorenz was fretting over Leonie, who was sitting on a box carving something on a piece of wood and probably using the others voice as background noise, with Ingrid peering over her shoulder, curious. When they approached Ingrid rose her eyes and smiled, her look tired but proud.

Caspar was engaged in what looked like a shouting contest with Raphael and Balthus while Hilda and Marianne looked at them from the sidelines with tired but amused expressions.

“I wish we could stay like this for longer.” He said, the words escaping his lips before he could help it. Felix must have heard him, but he was looking ahead at someone in the crowd.

The Professor was there, her eyes scanning all of them. For a moment, Sylvain saw there a sadness so deep he felt like he couldn’t breath. It came as fast as it went, but it left them frozen on their place. She looked at them, her eyes so old yet so young and the first thing that came to Sylvain’s mind was that she felt the same way as him.


	21. Fall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know how often I will be able to update from now on but I will try my best to do it as often as possible. I was writing this as if possessed but I don't think that will happen with the weeks that await me.  
> Enjoy!

For a moment, after the battle, it looked like everything would be going back to normal. The house leaders were back to their respective houses, classes resumed as usual, and the usual missions to protect caravans and take out bandits all over Fodlan. Even Flayn had reincorporated to the classes, as she had decided not to participate in the Battle of Eagle and Lion until she got more battle experience, deciding to watch from the sidelines. She had joined the Blue Lions, entering seemingly easily into the group and joining them in their daily activities.

But the thoughts haunted Claude for long after. During the battle, and the month before, he had tried to supress all manner of scheming, knowing he needed to focus all (or at least most) of his efforts in leading the lions and earning a reputation from winning the battle. At least the second he had managed, as the complains coming from the roundtable were moving from “we can’t completely trust this heir that came out of nowhere so I should be the one making decisions here” to the more familiar terrain of “he just beat my child in battle so I hate him, but he won the battle so I kind of respect him”, which Claude very much appreciated, as he could actually work with that. But reality, and the growing danger that seemed to lurk behind everything that had been happening all throughout the year, remained.

So he thought about Dimitri ( _As if you ever really stopped_ , commented a part of himself Claude was starting to believe he should lock in a cage and throw into a pit) and about the dagger. That night everything had been chaotic, his main focus at the time helping him calm down and get them enough time to look at the issue at hand. But, seemingly, he kept on making mistakes, as Dimitri had started avoiding him.

Well, avoid was a harsh word. They still met with Edelgard at their weekly meetings (which had been growing tense as the days went by, he didn’t know if because of Dimitri or if Edelgard was tense somehow) and they sometimes chatted in the library. But they had not actually talked in a long while, Dimitri’s whole demeanor growing increasingly cold and dethatched. He still held conversations with people, being overly court and kind as always, but they were growing fewer and he looked significantly less “there”.

One day, after getting bored out of his mind from the situation ( _Don’t lie, you miss him_ ) he decided to follow him for a day, see where he went, what he was doing. He was honestly surprised that no one payed attention at the house leader dressed with a yellow cape walking through the roofs following a student (although he swore he received a disinterested look from Lindhart before he closed his eyes and began his nap), but Dimitri didn’t seem to notice, so he decided he would worry about that later ( _You are that worried about him?_ ).

For the most part, he trained, he ate, he chatted with some of the lions, specially Dedue and Sylvain (although sometimes Ferdinand appeared out of nowhere to strike conversation, surprising Claude so much he almost stumbled laughing and fell to his doom) and he went to the cathedral. There is were things were strange.

Claude couldn’t climb the roof of the Seiros Cathedral (which, for some reason, was guarded better than the Officer’s Academy where their literal first line of defence lived, but anyways) so he followed him from a safe distance. That’s when he noticed that, it wasn’t that Dimitri hadn’t noticed him in the roof. It was that he wasn’t noticing most things surrounding him. On the way to the cathedral, he almost clashed into three people, including poor Ignatz, who almost feel to the floor from the force of the impact. Dimitri noticed, and helped him up after apologizing a thousand times (which somehow prompted Ignatz to apologize to him too, and the both of them apologizing endlessly to each other was an image Claude would laugh at for a long time), but it took him a tad too long to notice, which was strange for a warrior as experienced as him.

He walked to the altar and, his hands joined at his chest, began praying. He remained there for a while, his expression tense and his joint hands could probably break the altar in half with the strength he held them with. After a moment, out of nowhere came Marianne, who nodded slightly at Dimitri (a gesture of familiarity that seemed so strange in someone as shy as her, but indicated this wasn’t the first time they prayed together) and joined him. Claude just watched, his eyes never leaving Dimitri’s back.

He looked so…small. For someone so imposing in an open fight he almost looked vulnerable ( _You are the one who’s vulnerable, he makes you loose focus_ ), his hands joint in prayer for so long but his face growing increasingly darker.

In the end, even Marianne left. They hadn’t eaten since breakfast but Dimitri didn’t seem inclined to move from his place so Claude remained, vigilant ( _What are you expecting to get from this? What do you want from him?_ ).

Suddenly, he moved, walking slowly towards the balcony that overlooked the western part of the forest that surrounded the church, in the direction of what he guessed was the capital of the Kingdom, Fhirdiad.

He was reminded of a time, what seemed a lifetime ago, and of spying on him in much the same way as he was doing now. The words he said at that time, a sorry whispered into the air, teared into his mind, making him wonder ( _Making you care_ ) what was really going on with him.

This time he could tell that, whatever that was, it was stronger. And it was angrier.

“I’m sorry, just a bit more, please, I swear, I will do it, just a bit longer, please, I’m sorry, it’s all my fault, I know, I’m sorry, don’t leave me, I will do it, but don’t leave me, please….”

It went on for a while, the words merging with one another until it was nothing more than gibberish, but that didn’t prevent Claude from holding his hand close to his mouth to prevent from saying anything ( _And what could you say to him? What, do you want to help him? You don’t have enough problems as it is that you decide to involve yourself with the Kingdom and its prince?)_. But it didn’t work, as, suddenly, as if struck by lightening, Dimitri’s body tensed up, turning towards the shadows Claude was hiding in.

“Show yourself.” His voice came out as a growl in the empty balcony, the last rays of the sun crowning his head and making him look older and more tired that a boy his age ought to be.

Claude walked forward and watched as Dimitri’s expression morphed from careful and at the verge of anger, to surprise, and then to the closed off expression Claude was starting to get used to see these days.

“Claude, how may I help you?”

 _Well, its easy now_ , said the voice in his mind, the one that told him to beware, the one that told him to hold on to his dagger at night, the one that had turned a bit smaller where Dimitri was concerned before but was growing stronger the closer they became, _You just have to joke around, fake why you are here, he doesn’t need to know much, you don’t really have a reason to be close anymore, so pretend you saw nothing and keep moving forward, just KEEP MOVING, DON’T STOP, DON’T YOU DARE FORGET EVERYTHING YOU GAVE UP FOR THIS DREAM, DON’T…_

“Are you okay Dimitri?” He took a tentative step forward, his hands to his sides, perfectly visible. Dimitri retreated one step, his signal not to move a step further ( _What are you doing_ ).

Dimitri seemed more collected that he’d been all day, more present, but there was this distance, as if he was there but there was something obscuring his view.

“I’m perfectly fine Claude, there’s no need to…”

“Dima.”

The prince stopped on his tracks, his expression faltering for a second an revealing anguish, pain. Sorrow. He didn’t want to see him like that, though he didn’t really know why ( _You can’t do this. This is such a bad idea_ )

“I’m…okay. Right now, I am. Please, don’t worry about me. You don’t have to. I don’t want to burden you any more that I already do.”

He looked so small, his golden hair capturing the last rays of the sun and sending them in all directions and forming an halo around him. He took a step forward ( _Why him? Why him out of all people? Why the worst option for you? Why the risk? Go back to safety, now that you still can_ ).

“You are not a burden Dima.” Their eyes crossed paths when he called him that. “You never were.”

He didn’t look him in the eyes when he said that, the fake smile already forming on his face. But he didn’t move backwards. Claude took another step ( _Please, don’t do this, what are we going to do after this? When everything is over, what are you gonna do about this?_ ).

He took another step, and another, until he was so close he could almost feel his body heat and the sweat, something metallic and camomile tea, out of all things. It almost brought a smile to his face, but he looked at him, his eyes warry, but he didn’t move a muscle ( _Have you thought about what will happen to you if you get any closer? You did, but then why are you doing this? You know where this is going. You can’t cross that line. Not when there is such an abyss between you two_ ).

“I told you before right?” He began, his hand moving forward and delicately holding Dimitri’s which jolted at the touch but didn’t move. “You could never hurt me. I’m here for you for whatever you want me too. All you have to do is ask.”

He looked at Claude, so much emotion on his face, but said nothing, the only sign that he had actually heard him a movement of his hand, a caress so light it felt more like the touch of a feather.

“I…I can’t.” He looked at Claude, the sadness there raw. “But I want to. I…I think I want to. But not now. There is…too much on my mind now.”

Claude nodded and moved to give him space then, what he believed was a reassuring smile on his face at all times. But, in a sudden movement, Dimitri stopped him, seizing his hand as if it was a lifeline, and held him in place ( _Please, don’t do this, it’s only gonna hurt, please, don’t PLEASE_ ).

“Please, can we just…” He began, but he seemed unsure on how to proceed, or if to do at all. “Can you stay. Only for a moment. Please.”

Claude looked at him and smile, feeling how it reached his lips way more naturally than usual, showing in his eyes a bit too much. Too sincere for what he was used too.

“Sure thing. As long as you need.”

They didn’t speak much, just watched the sun finally set and the stars begin to appear on the sky, illuminating the night as they walked out of the cathedral without a clear destination. They walked close to each other, their hands brushing together often but none of them ready to take the step.

_You know where this is going. You know you can’t escape now. So, how will you be honest with someone who doesn’t even know your name?_

* * *

Dorothea was walking around with Bern, who had begun to open up more as of recently, and they were talking about music when the Professor appeared from around the corner, saw them, and made a beeline in their direction, which caused Bern to squeak and hide behind Dorothea, who could do nothing but smile fondly.

“Bernadetta, Dorothea, I need you to meet me at the entrance hall. Come ready to march.”

For a moment they looked at each other, confused, but they both nodded, though Bern tried without any luck to convince Byleth to go back to her room (and lock herself in there, though she didn’t say that out loud).

Dorothea accompanied her to the armory to get a bow, convincing her to bring a lance, just in case she may need it, and they walked together to the where the Professor indicated.

There they found a group already ready to march, with Edie at the head with Hubie next to her, as well as Raphael and Ingrid, who looked as confused as Bern and Dorothea felt. But they weren’t alone.

Captain Jeralt was there too, a battalion of Knights of Seiros surrounding him (although he looked like he would rather be anywhere but there). He stood very straight, the image of a knight in itself, and talked to everyone calmly but with the authority that came from years of leadership. Dorothea felt the impulse to approach him and ask what was going on, but he decided that maybe it wasn’t the right moment, when he was surrounded by a huge group of people who he needed to give orders to.

So they all waited, with the rest of the team joining them ready for battle. Leonie, who came with her bow on her back and her horse right behind her, took a look at Captain Jeralt and she smiled wider than Dorothea had ever seen her before. Flayn came too, as well as Cyril, who nodded at all of them as a greeting, axe ready in his hand, and went straight to Leonie, seemingly to ask her something. Constance appeared from thin air next to Bern, which scared her so bad it was a miracle she hadn’t run up to her room that same moment.

And, finally, Petra crossed the door, sword on her him and bow and axe on her back, ready as always for any kind of battle. Dorothea couldn’t help but look at her for a moment too long, which the other took as a signal to smile at her and come closer, which made Dorothea’s heart skip a few beats. 

Professor Byleth appeared then and went in a straight line towards her father. He smiled brightly, dropping his hand on her head and ruffling her hair affectionately. A sting of longing punched Dorothea, but it didn’t last long. She had an idea who her father was, she had searched for him once she arrived to the Mittelfrank Opera, but she had no desire to actually meet him, as he hadn’t made any effort to find out about her when she ended up on the streets when her mother died. But sometimes, just sometimes, she felt that longing, of having someone she could rely on completely, who would smile at her with love and fondness. It wasn’t necessarily a lover, though she had spent a long time searching for one too, but someone she could be close with and that saw her for who she was.

Someday.

They marched in formation out of the Monastery, Edie up front with Hubie and looking at the Professor, who was still talking to her father. Dorothea tried to move forward to walk with them, leaving Bern with Raphael, to the latter’s awkwardness and the former’s utter horror.

“What are you looking at Edie?”

She looked back at her with an intense look, which surprised her at first, but then she noticed that, among the voices around them, there was the Professor’s and Captain Jeralt’s. She felt a bit guilty for listening in, but curiosity got the better of her and besides, if the future emperor of the Adrestian Empire was eavesdropping without any guilt, she could too.

“How’re the brats going kid? Giving you trouble?” Asked the Captain, smirking down at his daughter.

“They are good kids. I enjoy teaching them.”

There was silence as the Jeralt took in those words, looking at his daughter with an expression that made Dorothea’s heart melt.

“Maybe…maybe it wasn’t so bad that we came here after all.” He looked ahead. “You know I…” he turned his head towards Dorothea and the rest, seeing that they were whiting earshot. “I had my doubts about coming back with you, you know. Glad to see at least you are enjoying yourself.”

He smiled down at her and Dorothea saw as the Professor’s expression changed, a small smile blooming and lighting up her usually stoic face. She took her eyes of her, feeling like she was intruding in something private, but she noticed Edie’s expression, her eyes blown wide with surprise and something deeper lurking under before it was extinguished. With that the moment broke and Dorothea didn’t know whether to tease her emperor or put an arm around her and console her.

But it didn’t take long before all thoughts on the issue run out of Dorothea’s mind.

The flames were burning high when they reached the outskirts of Remire, casting a shadow over the houses and giving it an eerie appearance. But it was the voices which actually reached them. There were cries for help feeling the air, followed close behind by indistinct shouts and sounds. But it was growing quieter, the voices crying out in agony growing more frequent.

“What is going on in here?” It was Edie the one who broke the silence.

Flayn had her hands over her mouth, no sound coming out, while Cyril next to her gripped his axe tight.

A hand dropped on Dorothea’s shoulder, it’s weight grounding her.

“The people are in need of our assistance.” Came Petra’s voice, which brought her closer to reality and to the task at hand.

The Professor nodded and gave the order, the rest following right behind her. Ingrid moved to secure the townspeople, followed closely by Leonie and Constance. Hubie followed the Professor forward with Flayn and Raphael, aiming to support as much as possible the Captain, who was already engaged against a few townspeople, who seemed crazed.

Edie, Petra and Dorothea moved to try and flank the enemy on the side. They were moving with that objective when, before Dorothea could say anything, someone jumped at Edie from a nearby house. He looked like a guy on his early twenties, just a bit older than them. But the look on his eyes talked about something else. He clearly wasn’t himself, a wicked laugh erupting from him as he swung his weapon in a frenzy, no plan nor reasoning behind his movements. Edie cut him down with one swift movement of her axe. Dorothea watched as the life drained from him, his expression perpetually smiling, even when the wound cut so deep on him that his ribcage broke, the blood pouring out of him slowly and draining him of life.

She felt Petra’s presence next to her, the moment of hesitance, not knowing if she should move forward to help her or concentrate in the battle. Dorothea looked up at another man, who was thanking Edie for saving him before bolting out, now free from the danger his own neighbour had become. She looked to Petra and said nothing, hoping she could convey what she wanted (whatever that was) to her friend before pushing forward.

She herself took down the next town person, their laughs fading away into the darkness, which she wasn’t sure was a good or a bad thing. She mostly felt empty, pushing forward rather than thinking about what was happening. That is, until she noticed who they were going up against.

From afar, she noticed the figure of Tomas, the librarian. He was acting like always, his hunchback evident and his expression placid, as if he wasn’t witnessing anything out of the ordinary. But, from one moment to the next, the man she was looking at disappeared, replaced by an old man in black robes and with a bulging head. There was something in his eyes that drove a sense of horror into Dorothea’s heart.

“That man is not human.” Came Petra’s voice, bringing her back to earth, as always.

“We don’t have time for this.” Came Edie’s voice. “We need to move forward. The Professor and the rest will keep him busy. We need to hurry to them.”

“We are not alone. An enemy has appeared.” Petra’s words were almost lost to Dorothea, as she noticed the figure that loomed over them now.

She hadn’t seen the Death Knight when he had attacked the Monastery, nor had she faced him. But his helmet, resembling a human skull, the dark horse under him, and the way the air seemed to turn colder the moment he entered the battlefield, made it impossible for them not to recognise him out of the descriptions their classmates gave, the dread raw in their voices.

Dorothea felt a chill run down her spine, but she saw Edie and Petra take the front without a glimpse of hesitation.

“Dorothea.” Edie’s voice came with the commanding undertone she always had, but with a degree of caution. “Cover us from the back. Make sure we can hold him off.”

She nodded, sparing a thought to give thanks that Flayn, who was thankfully fighting somewhere else, didn’t have to deal with her captor, and she moved forward, her hands crackling with energy.

The Death Knight and his squadron moved forward, a knight falling against Petra’s sword and the healer dying by Edie’s axe, leaving Dorothea to dispatch an archer, leaving just another knight and the Death Knight to deal with, with the first falling by an arrow shot by Petra, which entered his neck cleanly, killing him with one swift blow.

Dorothea noticed a sound coming from the dark figure that sounded like a laugh. The chills were back.

“You are not the one I want to measure up against. But the fight calls me. I’ll kill you.”

He rose his scythe with terrifying speed, with Edie having just enough time to block his attack, suffering a cut to her leg when she didn’t have enough time to cover herself. Petra jumped to attack, her sword clashing against the Death Knights mighty weapon with a loud sound. That was when Dorothea called upon lightening, hitting his horse on the leg, which made the animal scream in terror, but remain in his place, as if it knew that whatever happened to him in this battle was nothing to what would happen if he abandoned his rider.

They crossed blades repeatedly, harming him little by little but paying the price in important wounds, such as a cut that run all the way through Edie’s left arm and a growing bruise on Petra’s side from when their enemy had thrown her in the air with the handle of his scythe, all of them wounds Dorothea tried desperately to heal as soon as they appeared but struggled due to the speed they were inflicted at.

“Enough. I’m bored of this game.” His voice run through the air and froze them in their place for a second, which made if possible for his hands to shine with lightening. Dorothea felt his gaze on her and she knew it was over.

“DOROTHEA!”

She was suddenly pushed out of the way, which gave her enough time to see a flash of dark pink hair before the lightening came. She was stunned to silence for a second until she heard the clash of weapons and a cry coming from the knight.

She turned to see how Edie had injured severely the arm he used to wield his scythe while he cast the spell, the blood coursing down his arm like a river and dropping to the ground.

“I will retire from the battle. Farewell.” And, with that, he turned his horse and rode into the night, with no one pursuing him.

Dorothea snapped out of her stupor and moved closer to her fallen friend, her hands trembling.

“Petra?” Her voice sounded hollow even to her as she applied her healing magic with as much strength as she could muster. The spell had pierced through her middle, leaving a huge burn on her back. Her hair, always neatly put in her braid, was a mess, the hairdo coming undone and a few locks falling to her face, obscuring it from view. “Petra, say something. Please say something.” Her voice was trembling. She felt as someone was pulling her heart out of her chest, the tears coming to her eyes.

She kept her hands over the wound, telling herself not to pay much attention, to concentrate on the energy cursing through her veins, to focus on healing the skin, putting together everything that had been torn apart inside, moving through _oh please, just say something Petra, just talk to me, just smile like you always do, anything, please, I’ll do anything, just open your eyes and say that you’re okay because I can’t think of a world without you, I don’t want to think of a world without you because we’ve got so much to do and you need to live, for Brigid, for your grandfather, for… me, please open your eyes for me, because I haven’t told you that I love you and I feel like I will regret not saying it for the rest of my life and please just be alive just…_

“Do…Doro…thea.” It was nothing more than a whisper, but Dorothea’s eyes shot up to meet the other girls and she almost screamed with joy, her tears rolling down her face now from relief not fear and she wished she could just embrace her.

“Petra…” She whispered it too, her eyes never leaving hers, as if in fear that, if she stopped looking, they would close forever.

She heard steps behind her and there came Flayn, her hands shining with power. Dorothea left her room to work with when a hand fell on her shoulder. Edie looked at her with a mixture of sympathy and seriousness.

“They need us ahead. Flayn will take care of her. Let’s go.”

Dorothea was about to protest when Flayn’s hand fell on hers. When she looked into her eyes, which were smiling reassuringly, she felt, in what appeared to be an irrational way, that everything was going to be okay. Just by looking into those weirdly old eyes she felt like she could get up and try to leave, even though her mind was with the princess, who was barely conscious by looking at her intently. Dorothea stopped pouring energy into her and rested a hand on her check tenderly.

“I’ll be back. Don’t you dare leave me behind Petra.”

The other didn’t answer, but Dorothea saw the semblance of a smile on her face, which gave her the strength to take her hand away a moved to Edie, running towards were the rest were fighting Tomas, or whoever that was.

But, the image that greeted them was less than reassuring.

All of their allies were badly injured, with only Ingrid, Constance, Captain Jeralt and the Professor attacking the mage while the rest were busy fending against Tomas’ allies, which were stronger that they looked.

The jumped into the fight, Dorothea sending the last of her healing magic to save Ingrid from an injury that most definitely would have killed her if she left it bleeding for much longer. Tomas, or Solon as he appeared to prefer to be called, kept sending devastatingly powerful spells against them, which their allies struggled to avoid. The only one who seemed to be able to inflict some harm on the mage was the Professor, whose sword swam through the air like a whip. But the mage kept avoiding their attacks, his wounds closing in with every hit he managed to get.

It was in one of those attacks that it happened, too fast for any of them to be able to do anything about it.

Byleth managed to get closer, the Sword of the Creator shining in the darkness and tried to hit Solon with a devastating hit. But she missed. And the mage, so close to his objective and with a crazed look in his eyes, aimed his spell at her, the dark magic shooting from his hand with a clear objective. But it wasn’t her the spell hit.

The Captain had jumped in front of his child, the spell hitting him straight in the chest. They all saw how the black magic corrupted his form, the bleeding growing profusely from the wound at a level no normal wound would. Solon laughed.

“And that’s how even the greatest fall. And you all will be…”

But he couldn’t finish his sentence, as Captain Jeralt, with the last of his strength, drove his spear through the being’s middle, landing the blow with such strength the point of the weapon came out from his back. Solon retreated a few steps holding his wound. A figure appeared next to him, a tall man with skin to white to be human, and dropped a hand to his shoulder, but looked at the Professor before speaking.

“There’s no use in trying. We won’t let you change fate anymore.”

Solon looked at all of them, the disgust evident in his eyes.

“I will retire, for now. Remember, this is not over Fell Star. I will come back. And we will turn this world upside down.”

And with that, they banished with a spell, leaving everyone paralysed for a second before they all moved into motion at once.

Dorothea and Constance, both completely exhausted from using their magic, summoned the last of their forces to try to heal the Captain’s wound. Flayn came too, holding a still weak Petra on her side before leaving her with Raphael to help the other two mages. Leonie appeared too, falling to her knees the moment she saw the figure of the Captain on the floor, growing pale and bleeding.

The Professor walked to them, her hands trembling slightly and her eyes blown wide, the disbelief evident on her face. The three mages poured as much magic as they could into their patient, trying to fend of the corruption. Even Hubie moved to help, taking in part of the dark magic that kept on opening the wound. But it was no use. It kept on bleeding. He kept on dying.

Captain Jeralt looked at his child, the pain evident on his face, but he smiled.

“Sorry…It looks like…I’m going to have to leave you now.” His voice was soft but strained. The Professor’s hands came to rest at the sides of his head stroking his face.

And Dorothea saw it, the image ingraining itself into her brain. Tears streaming down Byleth’s face, her eyes shining with a pain so deep she felt as if it was her own heart the one that was breaking.

“I…” She began, her voice strained in a way no one had ever heard before. “I thought I could… Don’t…don’t leave. Please.” The last word held such emotion that Dorothea felt that she needed to find more strength to heal this wound. It didn’t matter were, she needed to save this man. He needed to survive. He needed to.

“To think…” The Captain’s voice was growing quieter. “that the first time I saw you cry…your tears would be for me.” His eyes shone brightly with unshed tears. “It’s sad and yet…I’m happy for it.” He rose a trembling hand to push a lock of her behind her ear in a gesture so tender a tear escaped Dorothea’s eyes. “Thank you…kid.”

And, just then, his hand dropped to the ground, his heart slowed down, and his breath stopped coming.

Captain Jeralt died right there and then, and the cry that came from their Professor, the burning flames from the ruined village surrounding them, seemed to pierce through the world itself, carried through the air as if the very soul of the world had been ultimately wounded by this loss. The battle was won, but they lost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't kill me.


End file.
